2006-12-11 16:12:37 · 19 answers · asked by Rina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hate to break it to you but odds are you are NEVER going to forget the pain that your first, second or any love has caused you. And the odds of not letting it affect your currently relationship are poor too.
With this being said the good news is that in time the "pain" is not as sharp and your mind smooths over a lot of the details. My aunt said it best to me when she discribed a failed relationship like a wound. At first it is very immediate and harsh, but after time it gets smaller and smaller and the pain dulls down. In the end you will always have the scare as a reminder, but thats honestly a good thing. Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it and most of us would rather not have to go through it again. Its a natural reaction to things and its a postive thing not a negative.
The key is to let it affect your next relationship, but let it affect it positively. Use it as a guide to know what better to look out for next time. I dont know the details of your pain, but try to use the flashbacks as a sign of things you need to discuss or keep an eye on.
The biggest things you have to remind yourself of when you feel the urge to pull back or jump to conclusions on a pattern you think is forming are: You new love IS NOT YOUR EX, doesn't function exactly like your ex and is in all honest trying their very best to NEVER remind you or become your EX. Do NOT jump to the blame game...
Don't wait until things build up.. the reason you have the scare/pain is to help you head off those things that cause the last break up. Talk about things.. if there are things you know are your trigger points.. share them and share them again. Warnings and sharing lessons learned is the quickest way to avoid repeats. If your new love is open to things they will appreciate your honesty and I am sure will have plenty to share with you as well.
Good luck! :)
2006-12-11 16:36:46 · answer #1 · answered by Frenchie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The pain subsides just like a big bruise goes down, but you don't forget how you got the bruise. Which is a good thing - it helps you to realise what you do not want in the next relationship. So every new relationship you raise the bar till you find someone you can put up with most of the time.
2006-12-11 16:17:48 · answer #2 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will never forget the pain your first love caused but dont let it affect your current relationship. EVERYONE deserves a chance.
2006-12-11 16:16:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are still in pain from a previous relationship, maybe you should reconsider being in a relationship right now. Dating is great and can get your mind off of it, but if you are still feeling something from a previous relationship, you should take time for you. Besides, it isn't fair to the guy you are in a relationship with. Go to a spa, pamper yourself, do things you have always wanted to do, avoid places you went together, etc. Pain is something that is hard to get over. Wish you the best!
2006-12-11 16:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kristen H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may never forget the pain of a first love. It's been 30 years for me and I sometimes think abou him but you just have to move on and use this as a tool to a better relationship. Good luck and good healing.
2006-12-11 16:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by Chicago Girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never forget you first love...I think men and women both remember that. It is what you have learned from that experience that you take with you and better and be with your current relationship
2006-12-11 16:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by e_piphany214 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont forget it you just move forward and forgive the pain and remember the love. you have to have taken something from that love dont remember how the pain is remember how the good times were when you were in love dont base your life on pain base it on good times. thats what i believe and try to do easier said than done i know but all you can do is try
2006-12-11 16:18:46 · answer #7 · answered by marynew8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people say you never ever forget your first love. You loved them- so there will always be a place in your heart for them! Just realize it obviously was not meant to be...and move on. If you are meant to be you will eventually end up together! good luck and happy holidays!
2006-12-11 16:15:46 · answer #8 · answered by Eva Nicole 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your worried that your past relationships problems or pain may affect your current relationship then you are not ready for another relationship.....
2006-12-11 16:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by Tanya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get over the pain before moving on to another relationship. Otherwise, it is not fair to the person you are with now.
2006-12-11 16:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋