Tell Me The Funniest Joke You Have Ever Heard. (Racial or not, if its funny!)?

Question

Well? Lets hear 'em!

Answer 1

Can't. It violates community standards and i can't afford to get suspended

Answer 2

A blonde walks into a bar and sees a good-looking guy sitting at the bar. She walks over and sits next to him and asks what he is drinking. He says a magic beer. She thinks the guy is crazy so she gets up and walks around the bar, not seeing anyone else worth talking to she sits next to the guy again. She says, " Is that really magic beer?" He says,"Yes, I'll show you. He takes a gulp and goes out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in through the window. She says, " Do it again." So the guy takes another gulp, goes out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in through the window. The woman then says," I want to try that." So the guy tells the bartender, " Give her one of what I'm having. The woman takes a drink, goes out the window, falls 30 stories, breaking every bone in her body and dies. The bartender looks up at the man and says, " You know, Superman, your a real a$$hole when you're drunk."

Answer 3

The traveling incense salesman was walking along the dusty road out of New Delhi when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the entrance-way and the root gatherer came to the door and said "Yes". The incense salesman said, " I am a traveling incense salesman and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The salesman said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."

Answer 4

Since I am against RACISM so much, I won't give you the funniest joke I have ever heard....u ruined that one....beiiiiiiitch!!

Answer 5

well here's a few of my favorites....


A blonde walks into a barber shop one day and asks the man if she can get her hair cut. The man says "Well ma'am, I can't cut your hair with those head-phones on. You're going to have to take them off."

She shakes her head vigorously and replies "No, if I take them off, I will die." He put his hands on his hips and ripped them off of her head. She fell to the floor and died. He was extremely surprised and picked up the head-phones.

All he heard was "Breathe in, breathe out, breath in."

and...
"why did the monkey fall off the tree???"
answer:becuz he let go
lol

and....
"why did the lady put lip stick on her head?"
answer:to makeup her mind

=]

Answer 6

I dont have any,sorry.
ST, Im a jew and I have to say that joke was funny, I called my grampa( holocost survivor) told him and he laughed.

Answer 7

That was a real tasteless joke ST

Answer 8

What do you call a 500 pound lesbian?a BUSH HOG..
Bob and Tony were playing golf,on thee 5th hole they seen these 2 gays laughing and having the greatest time,they finally had enough,Tony told Bob,watch this,He put the ball on the tee and hit it as hard as he could,the ball knocked one of the gays out cold,Tony and Bob walked over to them,they couldn't stop laughing,the other gay that was standing said-We are going to sue both of you,sue,sue sue,Bob looked at him and said"y'all can just suck my D.I.C.K., THE GAY STANDING TOLD THE ONE LAID OUT COLD TO GET UP OFF THE GROUND,THEY WERE FIXING TO SETTLE OUT OF COURT.

Answer 9

Why do jews have big noses?
Because the air is free!!!

Answer 10

wuts da difference between a jew and a canoe?
a canoe TIPS!