My fiance and I got engaged 4 months after we started dating. Since then I have been dreaming about the BIG day. He says that the reason we haven't taken the big step yet is because he wants to be more financially stable and we can afford it yet. So, is it just me or should I be wondering WHY he ask me so soon, if he wanted to wait SO VERY LONG. Oh and another thing he doesn't like talking about it. What the hell am I suposed to do?
2006-12-11 15:41:43 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you should try to talk to him about it and see why he's putting off the big day. You can't get anywhere if you don't atleast try to talk about it. Personally I think its kind of wierd that he asked you so soon and then said you can't get married yet. I dunno if this will help you att allll but just thought i'd give you an idea.
2006-12-11 15:45:56 · answer #1 · answered by Avery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dreaming about how things will look on your big day isn't wrong...so keep on thinking of the little things, girl! It is okay that he would rather be more financially stable before your walk down the aisle. The more you can pay for up front, the better off you'll be in the end...no need to start off a marriage with debts.
A lot of couples are staying engaged for a long period of time just because they can...why rush things? You know you're getting married, so leave it at that and enjoy being engaged.
2006-12-12 01:19:31 · answer #2 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that your boyfriend and you, got engaged four mos. after you started dating each other? Yet you haven't set the date, because your boyfriend says that he wants to be financially stable before you can get married . I think that he is just putting it off because he is getting cold feet, in getting married or he really does not want to marry you. If I were you I would have a long talk with him about this issue and hope that he will tell you that he really loves you but, he is scared in getting married. If he keeps giving excuses, it is up to you to think about your future, with him or without him. Good Luck and I hope that he eventually will tell you to set the date.
2006-12-11 15:56:56 · answer #3 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We decided to get married inspite of not having enough money. So we thought. You will be surprised how many people will help and how many things you can do yourself. We were like you and waited too long... We felt as if we were already married and marriage was so natural for us. We are very happy and do not regret having a low budget wedding . It was simply beautiful. If he does not like talking about it . Either he does not want to get married or like my then Fiance now husband was ashamed that he could not give me my dream wedding. Once I was willing and let him know I was willing to compromise . The wedding was on . He even set the date and picked out the colors and we picked the theme out together.
2006-12-15 07:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was the same way ..He wanted to be financially stable so that i could have the wedding of my dreams and still have some money on the side to start a new life together..
Men don't like to talk about things like that ..Give him some time and if you see that he still doesn't do anything about it them maybe something is wrong and you need to talk about it..
Best of luck to you =)
2006-12-11 16:06:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 2 yrs of waiting for that big day,well it seems he isnt ready to make a commitment in the near future.Doesnt take alot of money to have a simple yet meaning full marriage.If your seeking a long term relationship,make the move and seek what your heart tells you.If he doesnt care to discuss it,well then ask yourself whats the communication will be like after the wedding?
2006-12-11 15:46:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl 2 years is way to long to be waiting for your big day... in between 6mon.-1 year 1/2 is what it usually is... You need to tell him u are tired of waiting.. That he either needs to take the plunge or flush yalls relationship down the toilet... There are places you can go and get married for real cheap... The court house is only like 80 bucks... Do that for now and save the money to have that perfect wedding.... Maybe he is having second thoughts?... Tell him u need to talk about because its important to you...put your foot down..this is the one thing that us women have, dont let him take that away from you!!good luck...
2006-12-11 15:48:56 · answer #7 · answered by happy2BAlive!! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as sexist as it may sound, the original intent of being engaged was for the man to secure his rights to the woman. If he puts a ring on your finger he doesn't have to worry about another man stepping in. Having done that he now can start the process of providing you with a secure future. He sounds like a pretty good catch to me.
2006-12-11 15:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hand him back his ring and walk away, quickly. He thinks that now that he is engaged, that is good enough and he doesn't have to take the next step, commitment. Are you living together? If yes, then he has the best of both worlds, someone to have sex with, yet his freedom. If you wait until you can afford to get married, you never will. Ultimatum time, tell him you either set a date or you are walking or kicking his fanny out, whatever would make you feel better.
2006-12-11 15:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He wants to be more stable financially and you're waiting. 2 years is too long from what you seem to be saying. Start moving the plans forward and involve him in it.
2006-12-11 19:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by ragazzo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋