weve been together almost a year now and we live together but what bothers me is that i can't do half the stuff i used to do before. we spend a lot of time together and i love it but sometimes i want to see my friends.. go shopping without having the feeling of always dragging him around. he always has to know who im talking with..and when im talking a friend on msn he always has to read everything and i hate it cuz i feel like i dont have any privacy anymore. i love him and all and weve talked about it a lot and were trying to work on it but sometimes i just want to burst out the door and run away. whenever we argue its always about a stupid little thing and he always goes like *try to put urself in my position and think how i would feel* and its the same thing everytime but what about me! i tell him its always about u but what about me and he always ends up saying sorry. it the same story everytime. thing keep on pilling up in me and im afraid that things would get ugly afterwards!!!
2006-12-11 15:06:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we do talk about it but things just on repeating on and on and on
2006-12-11 15:09:12 · update #1
get rid of him before thinsg get out of hand.
2006-12-11 15:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok me and my bf had this problem also we have been going out for two years and it used to bother me we would talk and he would say the same thing well now it seems he doesnt care at all about what i do and it makes me feel like he doesnt care about our relationship now i am the one that always bothers him about what he is doing and stuff and i totally understand where he was coming from you really do need to look at it the other way how would you feel about the stuff he nags you about if it was him doing it and look at this way at least there will be no secrets between you just hang in their and give it time and keep on talking dont ever let that go good luck and things will get better
2006-12-12 01:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by advise_gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really up to you to decide how much you are willing to sacrifice for the person in question. Some sacrifices of personal privacy and space are necessary but it is up to you to decide how much you will sacrifice and for whom. The kind of arguments that you have described sound like they may have a lot to do with both of you being under stress so be sure and explore with him what the underlying causes of the tension may be. Rememer, if you ultimately feel trapped and unhappy it wont be a loss to end the relationship and the pain and uncertainty of being alone again will not last and you can be free to find the right person for you. Best of luck!
2006-12-11 23:13:18 · answer #3 · answered by moonrat1984 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but welcome to a relationship!!!!!!!!!!
When you live with someone you do lose all privacy.
Why did you move in together? Was it for financial reasons? Freedom is priceless!!!!
He does sound a little possessive. But is it excessive? Only you can decide that.
When you make the commitment to move in together you in a sense agree to share; every thing yourself, your life included.
Are you ready to share?
I've always found the best way to change someone is to change yourself; ow you act and react can influence him more than you realize.
If you love him figure out the living arrangements If you don't love him move on and find someone you is more compatible.
2006-12-11 23:21:16 · answer #4 · answered by Susan C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run like hell...his possessive nature will NEVER change. As a matter of fact, it will get worse. He can say he's sorry a million times and he may even mean it at the moment, but he'll never change. There are men out there that are not like that and I'm sure you could do better.
Good luck and be strong.
2006-12-11 23:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either solve it and work something out or leave. I know a couple where the guy was like that and it ended horribly. Break up now while things aren't so serious instead of marrying him and getting hurt.
2006-12-11 23:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by *♥Jinx♥* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend is im sorry to say a CONTROL FREEK so you need to find a way to take your life back the reason why you moved a way from home is to be grown and on your own well it seems like you got a nother father to watch over you every move
so i say DAMM what he thinks if you want to go out with your girlfriends and have some time to yourself just DO IT and tell him maybe tell him a head of time let it sink in that you are going out with your friends this week end so it will not be a surprise and if he argue with you when you get home leave again and again until he gets it in his head you will not be controled you are a grown women and you dont like being told what to do
he is only doing what you allow him to do he is insecure with hisself so let him work it out with hisself
last words i have to say ................. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR HAPPINESS AND YOUR LIFE
2006-12-11 23:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by slpry L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away. You love him, but this situation is not going to get any better. I'm in a similar situation now. He always needs to know what I'm doing and who I'm texting. Its a trust issue but more importantly its a personal issue. If you've been doing this for a long period of time, its time to let him go solve that for himself.
2006-12-11 23:16:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anima Brave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I understand how you feel. Try to think on the bright side. He does all these things because he loves & cares for you. Perhaps he has been hurt in his past relationship & doesn't want history to repeat.
Try to talk nicely & tell him to put himself in your shoes. Assure him that you won't do things that will hurt him. Don't leave him, because I can see that he needs you alot. =D
2006-12-11 23:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by christina_160706 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, well i've been there and im sure many other girls have to but you need to tell him that u need your space sometimes and if he can't understand that then he might not be the guy for you and furthermore if you can't do anything now whats in store for the future u might as well do suttin now instead of waiting till its to late trust me i'm outta that relation and its the best thing i ever did
2006-12-11 23:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by araposo185 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats rediculous, hes smothering you. if he is obsessive with you now and cant trust you, then you need to get rid of him, becuase its only goin to get worse. If hes the jealous type he might end up hitting you in the future if he gets mad. You may love him, but is your love for him strong enough to give up your life??..Because that is how it seems to be goin so far...
2006-12-11 23:10:57 · answer #11 · answered by gremlin1422 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋