My son is 26 months and my daughter is 8 months. She was playing softly with one of the toys they both play with and he comes out of nowhere and shoves her head out of the way. He screams at her first..that's the battle cry and then charges at her. Even when I am in the room, which I am always with them he shoves her and pushes her and makes her fall on her head sometimes in the matter of 2 seconds, I try to step in and separate them and she's in the playpen, but even then she is getting hurt by him. I am putting him in time out all the time and I react quickly and tell him to be nice. Time out isn't working, and I don't want to spank him, because I have a short fuse. I find myself screaming at him telling him to stop all the time, and I hate screaming and constantly putting him in timeout. When she touches his toys he gets very rude. I'm pulling my hair out, and it's crying constantly 24/7 What do I do to make it effective to get him to stop hitting her?
2006-12-11 14:30:55 · 12 answers · asked by fourcheeks4 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My daughter has torticollis, and ever since we started to go to physical therapy and he sees me doing the stretches for her he has been shoving her. I think he thinks that I am doing it, but i can't get away from him and give her time to do these stretches, I have to do it 10 times a day 20 mins a each time
2006-12-11 14:51:46 · update #1
I feel like I am spending more time with him than her. He is trying to cling on to me like a baby
2006-12-11 14:53:45 · update #2
Take his favorite toy away for 1 day. Explain to him, yes, I mean tell him, that he cannot play with his favorite toy if he hits his sister. And keep taking things away, for a little longer each time it happens. Explain to him each and every time. Make sure that you reward his good behavior as well. Pay extra attention to him when he is behaving and praise him highly at those times. Believe me, if he continues, his sister will be beating him up when she gets a little older.
2006-12-11 14:36:20 · answer #1 · answered by Candy N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one. I will pop my little girl's legs if she gets rough with a smaller child, but you admitted to having a short fuse. It is never ok to hit a child when you are angry - it is too easy to forget how much bigger and stronger you are. You are right looking for alternative punishments.
You say you have tried putting your son in time out. Have you tried putting his toys in time out? Like... If he doesn't want the toys to be played with, then they will not be played with. He will be reduced to playing nicely with baby toys. After she shares with him, maybe he will be more willing to share with her?
It sounds like your son has some anger problems. He may be jealous of the baby taking your attention. I know it's tiring, but make time to focus on just him for a little while every day. Make sure that he knows you still love him and he is still important. Also, let him help with the baby if he is interested. A child that age can hand his little sister a bottle of water or something, but only when he is in a calm mood.
You should also speak with his pediatrician about this. Something is obviously frustrating him. He needs to learn how to express himself without putting others in danger. The pediatrician may be able to suggest methods of rewards and punishment that better fit his needs.
I wish you the best. That's gotta be hard when your babies don't get along. He should outgrow it, sounds like he is going through a little bit of the "terrible twos". But it does need to be put under control ASAP.
2006-12-11 14:48:11 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put him in his room. I know it sounds stupid to put him where all of his toys are but it works. I am raising a 2 year old granddaughter and a 3 year old grandson. I started putting him in his room when he was about your sons age and it works. He will beg and plead for me to let him out. I started him at 2 minutes but since he is 3 I have worked it up to 3 minutes. I tell him he can't come out until #1 he learns to stop hitting his sister and #2 he stops crying.
Now all I have to do is ask if he wants to be sent to his room and he always says no. The 2 year old granddaughter was born 9 weeks early so we have had to be very protective of her and it takes her a long time to learn anything. So while it works for him, I have to hold her when she pitches a fit or gets out of control so she doesn't hurt herself.
2006-12-11 14:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his toys away. Make him take a nap. Take something he enjoys away. It will be over soon trust me. Just wait til "lil Moma" start walking and talking. You will probably have to punish her for beating him up. He is jealous and takes advantage of someone else that gets the attention that he usually gets. Plus she is smaller than him so therefore he feels he can push her around. Good Luck.
2006-12-11 14:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by sweetre2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children hit,bite,push,kick and so on for attention. The trick is to not give the attention. When your son does something to hurt her say nothing to him and pay all the attention to the hurt child play it up and he will learn that it backfired on him he will soon stop this behavior. However you must remember to praise his good behaviors when you see them so he know this is my mom when i do good things and this is my mom when i do bad things. he will learn the good things get him attention and the bad dont.
hope this helps and good luck
i have a 24 month old and a 7 month old (what was i thinking-lol)
2006-12-11 15:21:29 · answer #5 · answered by utopia760 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does it to get your attention which I see from what I've read he succeeded.
Now that he gets your attention negatively try a new tactic so that he gets your attention positively.
When you're doing things with your daughter include him. You have to remember even at 26 months their minds are working.
It is not going to happen over night, but done properly it will work.
Let him know how important he is, because he feels alienated.
2006-12-11 14:38:27 · answer #6 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show him and her that u lov both of them the same and put the one that hits in play pen for time out and give him prasie when he does good and a treat helps ,the yelling only give u uclcer and a lot of stress , dont give in so qwickly tell them time out is time out,stand by yr rules if u dont follow them u get time out away from the other and u but where u can see them . god bless u and yr kids always . it helps if u pray thats the best way jesus
2006-12-11 15:04:11 · answer #7 · answered by crosses_3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is barely old enough to understand what he is doing is wrong.
He is doing this for attention even though it is the negative kind. You may have to take up doing something painful to him so he comprehends he is hurting his sister. I don't like the idea of this but reiterate it may be the only way to get him to understand.
If he continues doing this, he is only going to get meaner and more injurious as he gets older. Nip it in the bud.
2006-12-11 14:42:10 · answer #8 · answered by expatmt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time outs work best, but you gotta know how to be effective. It sounds like sibling rivalry already. I think Suppernanny has a website, it might have an effective time out technique in it. Good luck.
2006-12-11 14:39:28 · answer #9 · answered by Baby Julie due 5/12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Book him in a boxing match vs Mike Tyson.
2006-12-11 14:40:13 · answer #10 · answered by Southern Hangover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋