How do you deal with a friend who doesn't watch her wild kids and they are endangering yours?

Question

We have been friends since we were 7. I love her family dearly but fear for my own family now. I try to avoid as many situtations as I can but we are like family and invited to many of the same things. I won't put my 1 year old down when her children are loose because I am yelling at them non-stop to put him down, not push, hit or take things away from him. After a short visit with them my 3 year old act just like them for days after the visit. Its terrible. She hates confrontation and whenever I try and talk to her, she crys. Help!

Answer 1

that's funny you would ask this one. I was just at a friends house who had company like that. (not me no kids on my end yet) her son is the only child. He is POLITE, kind, gentle, and a boy who runs around. The other persons kids are older, and bigger then he is like 6 and 3. he's 2. while they was there they was running all over the place, in and out of her fridge she was constantly havin to put things back or tell them to stop something so on so on. she finally asked me to watch the kids and took her friend into another room and said "I'm not tryin to hurt your feelings or insult you. We have different rules here. I do not allow my child to jump on the bed, hit or take toys away from other kids like it's been done to him in his home today. I do not appericate you allowin your child in my fridge and when I said no you did not say no also, I love you you are a part of our family but if you cannot get your children to behave and stop throwing, hitting and taking toys from each other and jumping on my furn. i will have to ask you not to bring your children to my home or around them." yes she was upset at first and left when she cooled off enough to drive but ended up callin back and appologizing for the behavior....It's like she told me today "I may be over protective but i cannot replace my kids nor her kids if they was to get hurt runnin wild." I agree with her so try pullin her to one side or when they're takin the toys away from your child or picking him up ask the parents to say something. Remind them that you don't want to be the bad guy with them cause they're not your kids and if they don't take action then then speak up and do what you have to to keep your family safe and i'm sorry if that means her cryin because you hurt her feelings. Also might want to try writing a letter if you don't want to talk to her about it give it to her and at the end of it say i would be more then happy to talk to you when you think we can set up ground rules for OUR families to be together. Worse comes to worse you might lose her as a friend and i'm so sorry if you do but you will keep your family safe. Just let her know that you're not puttin her parenting down Might want to also remind her of the age and strength differences.

Answer 2

If she won't set up boundaries for her children then you'll have to so that you can protect your children.

Maybe after you keep saying things to her children like....John, stop running because someone is going to get hurt....she'll get the hint and correct her own children.

Your 3 year old is at an age where he'll pick up any behavior good or bad so you'll just have to take a few days to get him back to whats acceptable in your family. Sometimes even a visit with the grandparents will cause that to happen.

Answer 3

I had the same problem, I told my friend that when our kids got together, they all became heathens and didn't watch out for the baby. I asked her what we could do to fix the problem together. I placed half the blame on my kids for diplomacy, but lost her as a friend anyway. It's turned out for the better, and my kids are happier with their mom's new friends' kids. You can always start putting the offending children in timeout or whatever, take control of the situation when YOU are there, because she obviously won't or can't do it.

Answer 4

I had the same problem with my best friend. She is more that a sister to me. But I had to tell her she couldn't bring her daughter to my house. Her child is 3 almost 4 and she hits, bites, kicks, and curses like a sailor. We still talk all the time and just this past July she was my maid of honor in my Wedding and she didn't bring her daughter. You have to do what is right for your kids and keep them safe.

Answer 5

As a mom I discover it tricky to look at films like that myself. It more often than not makes me cry or fear approximately the defense of my possess youngsters. It additionally makes me take their safeguard extra severely. Ya realize what I imply? I reside in a small the town, each person is aware of each person etc, however now, I nonetheless ensure I realize in which they're at always. In the summertime we now have vacationer that come via right here for fishing and I continuously warn them approximately strangers. So to reply your query YES I discover it difficult to look at films like that. KellyM

Answer 6

if you are constantly yelling at the other children, that might make your baby upset. You need to talk kindly to your friend, help her try and calm her kids down or limit your visits.

Answer 7

I would continue to watch my baby , boy I had friends like this you have to tell them and no matter if she cries tell her and try to help her do what she is to do with her children , I caught myself making their children mind me to make sure my baby was safe , you have to let her know or dont invite her anymore to your home .

Answer 8

well maybe she can't do anything with them her self and she don't know how to handle them. i would try not to go around them that much if her kids make your child act like them. just sit her down and tell her that she need to get onto her kids to make them act right. good luck

Answer 9

Sounds to me like you are endangering you kids by letting them play with HER kids!

Answer 10

well, if you would like to stay firned with her, than i wouldn't say anything, just show good parenting and hopefully she will take action and see how great you are at it. that does work for me and my sister, so we fight all the time. I would tell her that her children are trying to hurt yours and that's it.