Why do we feel that our lives are not complete unless we have someone?

Question

I understand it is human nature to love and want to be loved. But I think it goes farther then that. I think we feel our lives will not be complete if we don't love and or marry by a certain time or age. This pressure puts so many people into relationships that are not good for them. Why can't we just enjoy life, our personal lives and enjoy time spent with a lover or a friend and not expect it to turn into a relationship? I have made that mistake twice in my life and I still can't understand why I feel the need to make every encounter a relationship. Just by reading some of the question on here, "I love this guy/girl and I don't know how to tell them, what do I do? "I am suffering because the girl/guy I like doesn't like me back?" "He hasn't asked me to marry him yet, should I keep waiting?"
The list goes on and on. The pain is real, I can hear it in every question as I too have felt that pain. Yet we do it all over again.

Answer 1

Coming to one's own company is something that many of us only arrive at kicking and screaming. If you asked people how they felt about an evening at home alone with themselves, a fair number of the honest ones would answer Boring. The dishonest answer in the main would be: I would love an evening at home by myself but can't ever seem to find the time. Which translated means: So boring I have no intention of finding the time.

Most of us move from the company of families, to dating, to relationships without ever passing through solitude. The experience of solitude is not taught in schools. What passes for solitude to most people is the sense of being left out, or not fitting in, or feeling alone in a crowd. Coming to the pleasure of one's own company is very different than personal or social estrangement. Almost every great religious figure has had their time in the desert. Solitude almost always precedes a personal spiritual epiphany. It's easier to get lost in a crowd than to find ourself. Coming to the pleasure of one's own company isn't anti-social. In fact it is the opposite. Those who are not comfortable with their own company are never comfortable with others. Little makes us better company than being comfortable alone. Many of us looking for someone special in our life have never met the most special person in our lives. Ourselves. This doesn't mean we're more important than others. It does mean that we can't really be in a positive relationship with others until we've firmly established a relationship with our selves. There should be a rule that none of us can get engaged until after we've "gone steady" with ourselves.

Answer 2

I'm determined to make the most of my life without expecting a man to come into my life. It starts to become depressing when you feel like you need a man to validate you. I don't want to end up with just any man. I want a good, hardworking, and honest man. It also is easier to find a man, when a woman stops setting up such high and supercial standards for the men they want in their life. Ex: Wanting a gorgeous man, or a man with a big package. All that stuff doesn't really matter in the end, ir's just cosmetic, like an accesory.

Answer 3

I don't think everyone needs a relationship to feel complete. I do feel that everyone needs something to be passionate about, however. This passion could be a career, or a hobby. I also feel people naturally have a need to feel wanted and accepted. It's wonderful to have found someone who actually gets you. Unfortuanately in the society we live in, I think many mistake infatuation for love...and then find out too late that it wasn't in fact love. As long as there is something to live for, a purpose, we feel complete.

Answer 4

Exactly how you put it. I am single and I am miserable. It is hard when you see so many people out there in relationships and looking at yourself as single just lowers your self esteem. Basically I am swearing off dating and ever finding a girl just for the simple fact that is was not meant to be for me when I have failed more times than I can count. We are living in a society where if you have bad breath we think no one's gonna wanna talk with you if you have pimples the girls aren't gonna screw you, etc. It is sad and has lead me to suicidal thought smany times.

Answer 5

I think we were created not to be alone . It is human nature to want to share . I mean it could just be a friendship but nevertheless it is another person . I think that with experience people grow and learn . Only when they mature the same mistakes are not repeated .

Answer 6

Listen up, people: Love is unnecessary. YOU are the most important person in your life, and if you honestly need another person to make you feel complete, you need to get out more. There are millions of people enjoying fulfilling lives as singles, and you can do it, too.

Answer 7

Probably because all your friends do, so you figure you have too! and trust me i have felt the same way before! and trust me i have had this issue a lot. Your very right tho!! thats all i can tell you for know, were humans we make mistakes and our lifes are not perfect.
perfect-nothing and no one is ever perfect no matter how hard they try or how pretty it is.

Answer 8

a lot of the people posting are in their early teens.

I think adults realize the importantance of alone times. It helps them sort out their feelings, what they want, and to recharge for the next relationship.

Answer 9

i guess thats wat we're created for in the first place..a relationship.. we, by nature, desire a relationship and intimacy..thats why we often fall again n again.. maybe we want to have someone who'll always be there for us.someone committed to lovin us no matter what.. someone who really cares n knows about us.. well, honestly, I havent found anyone close to that except Jesus..i know this sounds cheesy, but that name saved my life.. cuz humans are imperfect..they can't be around u forever, nor can they understand everythin bout u.. so maybe the only person who can understand u is the one who created u in the first place.. i'll leave that to u..

Answer 10

AWESOME QUESTION

AWESOME QUESTION!!!

I completely agree---I find that the search for love stems from a Constant Disatisfaction with one's present state of being.