# 10 Life is sexually transmitted.
# 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
# 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him Without an erection, make him a sandwich.
# 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
# 6 Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
# 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in Hospitals dying of nothing.
# 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no Attention to criticism.
# 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
# 2 In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.
~*~*~*~ AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 ~*~*~*~
# 1 We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of defense.
2006-12-11 14:08:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
that's pretty good. You are still funny! My favorite, make me a sandwitch.
that's right I have a hot date tonight, we are going to eat and once I get enough to eat? anything can happen. Wish we luck, that's right I don't need any. Good night.
Where's Jacko my old friend?
2006-12-13 12:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Steven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do we sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
What do chickens think we taste like?
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
If chocolate chip cookies are made with real chocolate, what are girl scout cookies made with?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
2006-12-11 14:23:58 · answer #2 · answered by Purple Monkey Refridgerator! 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is by far the wittiest group of ten sayings that I have heard in a long time. Thanks for the contribution. It will make a great email forward.
That last one is particularly amusing because it shows how utterly bumbling our current government is when the Department of Agriculture is our most efficient government agency. I live for pithy irony.
2006-12-11 14:12:53 · answer #3 · answered by Lawrence Louis 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Thank you for the 10 points to Ponder, I really enjoyed them, they made me laugh I will be passing that one on.
2016-05-23 07:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Amen to #1. And #2-10 are good too
2006-12-11 14:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by juliet03angel281 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Those are so funny. I love your jokes you must really have a great sense of humor.
2006-12-13 11:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a lot of good points there hope people take note of them
2006-12-11 18:11:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
#8 makes me hungry
2006-12-11 14:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hilarious, I'm sending it to everyone on my list.
2006-12-11 14:18:31 · answer #9 · answered by dragonkisses 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that was awsome, first thing iv actually'read' in weeks
2006-12-11 14:11:09 · answer #10 · answered by electro- hamburger 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋