You are not the Father!?

Question

OK i just had a baby about 2 months ago and the man i thought was the father isn't. I kind of known since day one but just went along with it anyway. I deided to tell him when the baby was born, but other people said i shouldn't had said nothing and let that man be the father. THEY told me to lie to him again and tell him i just said that becuse i was mad at him for having another girl pregant, but the only reason i think they wanted me to say that is to save face for them, becuse one of them is dating his brother. So i went along with it anyway and reversed wht i said. I feel really bad becuse i know who the real father is and i can't tell him because all of the drama. They said that my son needs a father and if he is willing to go along with it no questions ask let him be the father. So i ask did i do the right thing? But even telling him that he hasn't baught the baby anything or even called to check up on him. So would you rather have him have no dad at all then to have a half ***

Answer 1

my sons father is not there at all. he is 7 now. he has come in and out a couple times when he was young and TRUST ME... it is easier to do it on your own than to have a half a** dad. It makes it easier on your child in the long run to know that he/she is loved by the ones that are close to them. STOP listening to the people that are causing drama the only thing that matters now is ur kid. I feel that it was the right thing to tell him that he is not dad if that is the truth. if that is not the truth then he needs to know what the truth is. even if it is not what he wants to hear, as for the other one w/ his kid. your child has a brother or sister and has the right to know them so get over the hard feelings and do whats right for the kids... GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

Are you joking me? This whole thing is a cruel joke to someone, but the question is whom.

Why don't you take the baby and the two men to a doctor and have a DNA test done. If you can convince 2 different men that they are the father to your child then that means that you must have sex with both of them in a short amount of time. So how can you be sure who the father is. Just get a DNA test done so everyone can know the truth. It doesn't sound like you are trying to hold the relationship together with the guy you keep lying to so why not just straighten the whole thing out.

Answer 3

You NEED to tell him he is not the father & tell the real father. It will eventually come out wheather its in the near future or in the far future. You never know, your baby may be very sick one day & need his parent's blood or transplant & then it will come out. Maybe something not so drastic will happen but the baby deserves to know who it's real father is. Wheather or not the guy taked responsibility is his problem, he needs to know, you can get child support & your baby will make his own decision about his father as he grows up. Do the right thing, you can't start your babies life with a lie & let him think that is the way to go through life. Be honest for your son.

Answer 4

Well maybe he hasn't done anything for the baby because he is questioning whether he is the father. You should drop your part in the drama, tell him the truth. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. What happens down the road should your baby have some health issues and it then comes out that the man he thought was his Dad, isn't???? Tell the truth and move on. If people are telling you to lie, maybe they aren't looking after your best interests.

Answer 5

No. You did not do the right thing. That man has a right to know if the son his is rasing, a baby he loves, is really his or not. I would rather have my son have no father at all then to lie to a man, to take money for my baby from him...my son would have a life baised on a lie and that, when he eventually finds out ( and all lies will eventually be found out), he hates you for it. Better to stop the hated of your child now when he won't even remember this man when he grows up then to have him come to adult hood believing in one thing...that is indeed a lie. In conclusion, you have done a very very bad thing. Make it right.

Answer 6

i think u need to come clean, you need to tell the other man that YOU CLAIN YOU KNOW IS THE FATHER that he has a baby...its important that the father and the child know one another. After you tell that man you must tell the other what you did and why you did such a thing.. you need to grow up and put your child first, if the man you told was the father isnt doing anything for the baby whats the point in making that child suffer thinking he has a dick head of a father anyways? you want the best for your son dont you? and the best thing you could do is get the biological father involved that way if he doesnt want to be apary of your sons life atleast he knows your son is in exsistance as a part of his family and your son can get answersd when he gets older. DONT LET YOUR CHILD BELIEVE A MAN IS HIS DADDY WHEN HES NOT. its one of the most important things you could do( make your child and his bio. father aware of one another!)
good luck and best wishes
merry christmas!

Answer 7

You are obviously young in order to let people manipulate you like that. You know you are wrong in what you are doing. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions so that you can better take care of your baby. Besides, the real father should know that he has a child.

Answer 8

I would rather you started your son's life in honesty and integrity.

This will eventually come back and bite you in the butt...and it won't be you that suffers or the poor guy you're lying to....it'll be your son.

You're a mother now and part of that is stepping up and being a responsible adult......tell the truth.

Answer 9

Lying is wrong. You have dishonored yourself, your child, and the men involved. You have begun to teach your child the skill of dishonesty and lying, which is cowardice. You have proven to yourself that you are not worthy of respect because you do not respect yourself. This is a major self esteem challenge. You play games because you do not like yourself.

Courage demands truth towards yourself, your child and others.

The time is now to begin to love yourself enough to be honest about yourself. Quit destroying others to make yourself feel less contempt for who you have become.

You need to change your ways.

Answer 10

you are doing the rong thing. Why would this guy care so much to be this babies father when he doesnt even acknowledge his existence? Find the babies real dad mabye he can be more of a real father in his actins.