Why do some people refuse to acknowledge the facts?

Question

I don't understand why some people refuse to see the facts.
They say that my children can not have social skills because they are home schooled, so i explain all the activities they are involved in like bowling, soccer, gymnastics and scouts, where they socialize with countless amounts of children of all ages.They also have friends in the neighborhood,so there are countless sleepovers and play dates. Even after being told all of this there are people who still keep playing the same old "socializing" record.Why is this?

i appreciate your comment beast, you have definately made me think about that part of their lives. I do think they face conflict in scouts but i can probably do some more to make sure they are able to cope with that, so thankyou for bringing that to my attention.

firstly mike i'd like to say, regarding your comment on the kids needing school to learn choosing of friends, dealing with bullies e.t.c. You've read the activities my children do each week right, well obviously these activities give them the opportunity to learn these skills, and they are learning them from other children, some home educated but mostly public schooled. Also, this is something i can address and work on with them, they are not hidden away from the world. There are 4 of them close in age, so they interact with each other, and its only for the 4 hours that it takes them to do their studies, for the rest of the time they are exactly like any other child. I feel homeschooling is like anything else, if done right it can work out wonderfully, if not them you have the problems that most anti-homeschooling people speak of.

i was not aiming my question at people who have legitimate questions and concerns about homeschooling but at those who put everyone in the same basket and insult innocent children calling them weird and saying they'll never learn to socialize, because this may be the case for some but not for all and most definitely not for mine. I don't home school because of religion i am not religious at all, i don't do it out of over protectiveness or paranoia. I do it because i had to with my oldest due to a medical reason and we both loved it and it worked for us, so i decided to try with the rest with the knowledge that it might not work out and they may need to go to public school but it has turned out beautifully for us.

Answer 1

Exactly Karen,
If adults are around people who are abusive, they aren't FORCED to stay around them. They can just leave...or file a harrassment suit or protective order. But our children, who are still learning about the world, are forced to deal with these ugly issues without even the assistance of an adult who is knowledgeable about conflict. Kind of a sink-or-swim attitude that creates all the disasters we have in adolescence today.

The fact of the matter is, that there is conflict in every single family. Children start practicing there...so that they don't develop all these anger issues and feelings of low self-esteem. They see conflict resolution, they see compromise, they see how it works really, and they practice. Then there's conflict at scouts, there is conflict at the park, the library, anywhere there are people, there will be conflict. Maybe not ugly, corner you in the bathroom and beat the crap out of you conflict that my third grader had to go through (and many school kids), but realistic conflict that doesn't tell them this behavior is okay.

Poster, I don't know why people won't listen to facts. It seems like they have to spout rhetoric to defend their position, or else admit that the life they have lived thus far wasn't necessary. How can they live with the abuse (to whatever degree) that they have experienced if we say it wasn't necessary? How can they knowingly send their children into it, if it isn't 'important' in the development of a child. That's the whole reason, right there!

Answer 2

I homeschool my 7 year old and my 4 year old. My kids and my husband and I love it. My daughter is just thriving. She has sensory integration dysfunction and she was not doing well in public school (for kindergarten).

Negative people is the most annoying thing about homeschooling. I can't stand it when people who have never been homeschooled or homeschooled their kids talk negatively about it. The reality is every child and family is different, so what works for one, may be a disaster for another. Both parents have to be 100% up for it, otherwise it won't work.

I have read allot of peoples comments on here about homeschooled kids not being "socialized" or their "sheltered from the real world".

I think the people who say that are just saying it because it's an instant reaction for some. If it's new and different some people automatically spew negativity.

If they actually looked into homeschooling, did some research, talked to homeschooled kids and their families, they'd realize that they actually have MORE opportunities for interaction than public schooled kids. Public schooled kids stay in the same building with the same kids everyday. Homeschooled kids, at least in our family, meet new people everyday,as well as keeping the same friends from gymnastics, scouts, sports through the community, etc. I chose to homeschool because I know from my experience I could have done allot better had I paid more attention. When you teach your child you are making sure they pay attention. There are so many kids who fall through the cracks, even with the "no child gets left behind". For instance say there is a child who is making B's or C's but is capable of making straight A's. That child isn't considered "lost" but in reality they are because they're not doing their best. With alittle attention and help any child can thrive being homeschooled.

I won't even go into how the relationship with your children will be most likely much more close,since you spend so much quality time together every day. And that is very important in those rough preteen and teen years.

Also, a good reason for us to is to prevent the negativity from jr high and high school. So many kids are more interested in who's dating who and who's wearing what, they don't care about learning anymore. Some people may say that's typical for a teen, but if they're not learning then they can't be getting a good education to get a good future.

I know I'm giving my children the best gift I possibly could, giving them an excellent education. I read an article saying that Ivy League schools actually look for homeschooled kids, because they know that they know their stuff.

I think we should all stop fighting over what's better homeschool or public and just choose the best for our children, and let everyone else do the same. And I'm not talking about this particulat thread, but society in general.
That's why they have all these options now, because every child learns differently, and every parent has different views.

Answer 3

In my opinion, people like this do not agree because they are probably jealous or they may feel threatened with your discision to home school, as it breaks away from the traditional meathod of education. They think that there is no way can home schooling can be as good as the way they (or their own children) were educated. Therefore, they have to look for something, and they choose "social skills" because it seems the most logical issue that might be a problem.

Some people will hold on to their beliefs no matter what because people often hold onto a "confirmation bias"--looking for whatever bits of information they can, in order to believe what they want, even though it might not be true.

Just some thoughts.

Answer 4

The one aspect of life they are probably missing is conflict and dealing with the less agreeable aspects of our society. You do a excellent job of giving your kids opportunity. But they are protected from the undesirable because they can always avoid the people that are the cause. In public school this is not an option. Now your kids will be better people for it, but they will be naive to some of the worst parts of our society. I recommend you start teaching them about this before they end up a victim by accident.

I realized I didn't answer your question. It has been my experience that the same people that have a problem with home schooling are the same people that appose school vouchers and chose. They think the indoctrination proses of the schools today are the best thing for kids. And when they are home schooled or allowed to chose there school it takes the power away from the schools and the government. In the end they only care about the power. There excuses are just that. Most home schooled kids have parent that are smarter then the average teacher and live a life stile that allows one parent to stay home. The concept of a stable home with both parents present to teach values and morality is a problem in the eyes of the the people that complain about home schooling.

Answer 5

Mummy,

Don't waste your time. Some people just can't understand facts, and have already made their mind up. Home schooled children miss the bad kind of socialization I guess, is that a bad thing? They comment like that because they don't understand, and that's their problem. They should really do research before making an opinion. I actually believe it has to do with jealousy.

Answer 6

I think what they are referring to, the kind of "socialization" that homeschoolers tend to miss out on is the severe negative kind. My dh is learning disabled and he was called stupid and lazy for example, by other students and his teacher! My brother was a classic geeky nerd and he was beaten up and thrown into the lockers almost every day! And some anti-homeschooling posters always warn about homeschooled children not being able to handle life if they don't face this kind of socialization or something.

But I think the truth is when our kids are grown up and they have jobs if they have co-workers that are either: calling them stupid & lazy or beating them up almost daily wouldn't they quit that job immediately as a dangerous and/or unhealthy situation for them? I wouldn't want my children to ever be in that kind of job and also why would we want our children to be in that kind of situation in a school environment either?

Karen

Answer 7

ok high quality. Then a "Voice of reason" could let us know especially how a 878 billion dollar spending stimulus, bailouts and generic huge spending stopped the increasing unemployment fee. I advise, you're great at showing us a chart and make a declare that Obama's regulations and spending are recuperating the economic equipment, yet are you able to provide us examples of precisely what everlasting jobs have been created by employing Obama's stimulus?

Answer 8

I went to public (and private for 11th and 12th) school all my life. I homeschool my girls now. I don't understand what socialization they would be getting in school that we don't get here. The socialization debate gets me too. I can't remember much socializing in elementary school....sitting in the same seat all day listening to the teacher talk. During recess we could socialize...fine I'll acknowledge that. Lunch was hit or miss...if your "friends" brought their lunch and you were buying that day, you didn't get to sit by them in my school.

In middle and high school we got to socialize more...in the hallways between classes. I got to witness some good fist fights, making out, drug sales, and other social things in that 3-5 minutes between classes. Yes, I participated in these things too! 5 years after high school, I don't think ANYONE (homeschool or not) can say that much of anything in high school mattered. Admit it... everyone says it as soon as high school is over-- "oh that was so petty!" "oh that high school drama" None of that socializing was worth it 5 yrs after high school for me.

Answer 9

I'm game
What fact(s) am I refusing to acknowledge?
You seem like an above board homeschooling parent who is blessed materially to have the time, money, and peaceful home to effective duplicate what public school does

You seem quite exceptional, Kudos!
Since I only know you across the 'net, and since I met you long after I formed my opinion on home schooling, I still contend home school is, in general, a bad idea.

As I have stated many times, my opinion on home schooled CHILDREN has been formed by teaching several HSers in my Saturday morning classes
check them out your self so you know the context I am speaking in: dapcep.org and firstlegoleague.org
IN GENERAL I found these kids harder to reach, they were poor leaders, unimaginative, and not team players

My OPINION of home schooling parents was also formed long before this forum existed. My FIRST exposure to the concept of home schooling PARENTS is from the media, doing stories of abusive parents who tried to hide their children away under the guise of home schooling.
To this day, I am still convinced more abusive parents are 'home schooling' than exceptional people such as yourself.
Perhaps I will remain convinced that , by and large, home school is 'luxury' some parents choose out paranoia or obsessive protectionism ( I exclude medical reason, I understand that one) even under the best intentions.
Perhaps I will never convince you that public schools are as safe and as good as your home schooling. Perhaps I will never convince you the value of the 'education' aside form the curriculum, dealing with bullies, learning to choose and make friends, learning how to join, form a clique. Perhaps you will never be convinced that everyone will need these skills and developing them as a kid, in pubilc school, is a lot safer than trying to learn them as a young 20-something while trying to start a career and a family at the same time

Answer 10

Don't waste your time trying to tell them the facts. They've already made up their minds. Just go on with your life and when they say that tell them it's been driven in the ground and time will tell how your children will make out. If they continue, tell them you prefer other topics of discussion, because their constant criticism of your choices in raising your children is unwelcome.

Best Wishes,

Sue