I,m worrying about xmas. I want it to be good for my kids but the thought of sitting at table with their dad is stressing me!!! He,s gota come over, otherwise he wont give them their presents. He,s told them everything he bought so they REALLY looking forward to seeing him!
I,m thinking of painting a big smile on my face on xmas day( like the joker) so atleast i,ll LOOK happy. And my kids might find it funny.
2006-12-11 13:16:46 · 32 answers · asked by NIcole 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why don't the kids go to his house? Why not just grow up and learn to be civil to each other? You do have children together, it's not like that is ever going to change. Get over what ever it is that stresses you and makes you think you have to paint a smile on your face. Do you still have the hots for daddy?
2006-12-11 13:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you can`t be honest or indepndent paint your happy face for ever, He's gota come over for what? give presents don`t forget about the food you have no hesitation in cooking, If you think it`s a worry, stressing time, and he gotta not come round for so long or not do you think your kids will appreciate the outcome they sure wont forget it. Stop clinging, wake up, using the kids as an excuse! Lie to your kids enjoy happy families act, remember that you have no say or control in your life everyone else can only control what you can`t
2006-12-11 14:08:23 · answer #2 · answered by dinaro5 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Be busy. Let him have some time with the kids. Be civil. Be strong. If he gets out of line, send him home.
You might call him a week before and set some ground rules. Let him know you want the kids to have some quality time with him and you don't want it to be reduced to a shouting match or whatever. See how he takes it. Be civil. Be strong.
You might set the time frame for his visit, if it's early, have breakfast going & put out muffins or something. If it lunch, do sandwiches. Keep yourself busy in the kitchen if you trust him to behave with the kids in your house.
I don't know what your relationship with him was or the circumstances of your split with him, but - lets assume he wasn't good for you or the family. If this is the case and you feel you need to keep an eye on him, have a book or magazine handy and drink some coffee or whatever while you read & he plays with the kids. I would not make it an all day affair unless you & he can agree on reasonable terms.
Good Luck with it.
2006-12-11 13:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by bionicbookworm 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know it's tough, I've been there. Try very hard to focus on how important it is for your kids, be as hospitable as you can be, and hold onto the thought that it won't be this way forever...it just might seem like it! He is their father and should have some interaction with them on holidays & other times, not so much maybe that he deserves it, but your kids need it. Someday, sooner than you realize, they will be grown and they will remember what you did for them. Be strong, you can do it!
2006-12-11 13:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by harlowtoo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
does he have to be there the whole day? I would have told him that he could come for desert, after dinner and give the kids their presents...... set some boundaries as to when and how long he would be in your home. You have that right and he should not punish the children by denying them gifts. I do think he should get to give them in person and have a little time to spend with them... but not the whole dinner and/or all day.
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-12-11 13:19:52 · answer #5 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to how much we love our children it's all about sacrificing. And in this case, sacrificing a few hours on Christmas day doesn't seem to be that devastating. Just think of the smiles on their faces and how happy it will make them. That in itself is enough to make YOU smile naturally and put up the face paint! One of the first things you said was "I want it to be good for my kids"...well, it sounds to me like you are a loving mother and are capable of tolerating whatever comes your way to make Christmas a great day for them! Have a good time and take lots of pictures of their sweet faces and every single grin! It's going to turn out much nicer than you are thinking if you go into it with a positive attitude! Good luck and Happy Holidays!
2006-12-11 13:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by pillowtalk504 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you guys divorced? It's normal.Don't worry about it just enjoy watching your kids having a good time.When you see your kids so happy you'll start to have a good time to.Don't do the joker thing it brings questions!And conversations you want to avoid
Merry Christmas and God Bless!
2006-12-11 13:21:31 · answer #7 · answered by ☼Summer☼ Gurl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have to be there for the whole day. Have him over for an hour or so before or after you have you xmas dinner. He can have a drink, give the kids their pressies, hang out with them for a bit and then go.
2006-12-11 22:39:46 · answer #8 · answered by Tamzi 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make Christmas Day all about the kids and make Boxing Day all about you. (Turn the kids into little Christmas elves and get them to magically tidy everywhere up and do the pots). Then when they have gone to bed, spoil yourself with a movie and some choccy.
2006-12-15 12:00:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
find,make a simple dinner just for the kids and there father.if you want to. if not sent the kids to there fathers place and pick them up later on in the day. don`t make a big deal out of it.
2006-12-11 13:21:53 · answer #10 · answered by horseknickers 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋