The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A1: They can't find the zipper.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do blondes say after sex?
A1: "Thanks, Guys!"
A2: "Are you boys all in the same band?"
A3: Do you guys all play for the same team
A4: Who were all those guys?
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering
what she did with her pencil.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A1: They both have a black box.
A2: Both have a cockpit.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q: What's the blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice t.its!"
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie." The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguig, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender"Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them sh*tting in the streets during parades.
Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One's a phony buck.
Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.
Q: Why don't a blondes guts fall out of her tw.at when she stands?
A: Because the vaccum in her head keeps them in place.
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should
cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" enquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."
Why does a blonds bra say T.G.I.F?
T.its go in first.
Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So guys will talk to them at parties.
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE WITH A RUNNY NOSE?
A: Full.
Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-f*cking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . . .
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
2006-12-11 13:08:57 · 6 answers · asked by al p 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL! I havent got on for a long time! lol, im blonde and i want to become a veterinarian! Wow! Never new u were so smart! Thanks! Buds! Maybe if i have questions, answer mine! i will give u as best answer! I like it. i dont really get the 2 one.......
2006-12-11 16:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by FP 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm a brunette and function in no way advised a blonde comic tale, i imagine blonde jokes are as undesirable as rcist jokes, even with the undeniable fact that, I do locate I chortle at some racist and blonde and brunette jokes. i must upload that some blondes somewhat do make it a lot less annoying for jokes even with the reality that!!!
2016-11-25 21:49:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for the laugh these are good I have not heard alot of these and they have like 60 blonde jokes a night
2006-12-11 13:18:44 · answer #3 · answered by Melisa H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Today's blond jokes were brought to you by AL P
Sponsored by Zink!
That was funny thanks for putting the time into and sharing!
2006-12-11 13:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Richard Serenity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont like blondes very much do you lol.
2006-12-11 13:15:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
thanks for the laugh
2006-12-11 13:32:49 · answer #6 · answered by Gwenna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋