I am losing hope in ever getting a girl. I have an anxiety about asking a girl out and have never done it in my life. I can't even start a conversation with a girl, as I have another fear of embarassing myself. I am planning to not ever be with a girl, and I don't really feel like getting rid of my fear. Living alone would be better than embarassing myself. It will take too much effort and too much of my time. I will probably live in Hawaii or something and enjoy my life, alone. I don't know why everyone says it would be bad to do that. Besides, I don't want kids, and I don't want to have to listen to everything my wife says, if I had one, wants. I don't know why I have no confidence, as I am tall, well built, and I have been told by a lot of people I'm attractive. I don't know if I ever will get over my anxiety. I might as well give up, seing as I will never ask a girl out. What is my problem, or how can I fix it, if I ever wanted to?
2006-12-11 12:52:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop treating your female encounters as possible dates. You need to view girls as just friends first and get over your anxiety.
You are pressuring yourself too much. Just enjoy people and when the right girl interests you, you will already be comfortable with her as a friend and asking her out will be no problem.
You are giving yourself anxiety over what if situations. Just calm down.
2006-12-11 12:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by easternvesper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but don't rush yourself! Life can have enough frustration without you trying to cause yourself more. Your not the only one that has ever felt that way, and you won't be the last. Get yourself a job, even a career, a car, do some traveling, enjoy life. then as time goes on and you see someone that really makes you feel like talking, you'll know, this is the time. I'm sure that God has a plan for your life, Pray and allow HIM to lead you to who he wants you to be with. And it maybe no one. That is alright too. Being a single man all your life does not mean their is something wrong with you.
2006-12-11 21:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by groveton_32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living alone is cool if that is your choice and not a choice being forced on you. Listen to what I'm about to say without being defensive or taking it personally. You have no skills. That's all, plain and simple. You need to learn some social skills. The same way you have to learn to drive a car.
Try joining some kind of co-ed team thing or something else that involves girls and guys. You will find it easier to talk to girls once you get to know them. Make sure you have plenty of guy friends. Many of them have good looking sisters.
2006-12-11 21:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO!!! Never give up on urself!! Doing that gives u no chance at all ever!!! U have got to keep trying. If u dont give up and stick with it, u will be more confident as time wears on! Also, ur self-esteem lvl will improve, causing u to be more happy with ur life. Once this is achieved, things between u and the ladies will just happen and will flow smoothly. Now I'm not saying that u will not experience some rocky times even with a high confidence and self-esteem lvl, because trust me, it will. However, u cannot give up!! Give urself a chance, because by giving up, u are condemning urself to no success.
2006-12-11 20:59:43 · answer #4 · answered by revup 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, asking a girl on a date is not proposing marriage. There are no long term commitments.
Plan something fun and light for a first date.... like an amusement park or trip to the zoo. Ask the girl to go with you and hang out. Say something like: I'd like to go to "insert place" and spend a day, but it would be a lot more fun to have someone to go with. Would you go with me?
Keep it light and non-committal. On the "date".... you can talk and get to know each other while having a good time as friends.... even if it comes to nothing more.
Keep it light and relax!
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-12-11 20:57:50 · answer #5 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still young .... there are people out there who are in similar shoes as you and are older than you
IE: never dated, been hooked up with another, etc.
Give yourself a break ...there doesn't have to be a rush...go as slow as you want to go or feel confident enough to go.
When you are ready to move on to the next step in your life you will do so.
This may sound corny ....but this is Your life and only you make the choices for the path you will travel when it comes to personal wants and needs.
2006-12-11 21:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by lm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, most guys experience this problem and the fear of rejection by a woman is one of man's greatest fears. What you should do is take baby steps in approaching and talking to women. Like start off with just making eye contact with them as you walk-by and after you learned to look at them directly (which shows signs of confidence) you could greet like "Nice day isn't it." And continue to work from there like engaging them in short conversation. You should go to bullz-eye.com and read a dating guru named David DeAngelo who has changed the lives of many men across the US. If you like his newsletter then go to his website which you will find there. I'm sure it'll be a great help. No one wants to be alone.
2006-12-11 20:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your stuck on yourself but your trying to candy coat it. You want the girl to be the agressor and ask you so that it can boost your ego. I dont see anything wrong with that. If your scared to ask the girl let her make the first move. But dont treat her like the person you fear. She might fear embarrasing herself too only difference she thought highly of you to put that behind her and ask you anyway the least you can do is say yes or let her done easy.
2006-12-11 21:00:25 · answer #8 · answered by meka g 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i definitely lack in confidence, but not quite that much!! However, i do want a husband and kids...so your first step is to decide if you do want a wife and kids...if you really decide you dont, then there is no problem- be alone forever. If you decide you do, just try to be confident...i have faith you can do it and ask out some girls and see what happens!
2006-12-11 20:58:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mr, you have to make that step over that fear, and just practice on girls you don't like, of asking out, just to get you warm up of practice, and hearing all the rejections, and yes!
Then you just go to that girl, say HI, tell her something wonderful about her that you notice. Ask her if she would like to spend some time with you on dinner, to get to know her and for her to know you, and see what kind of fun stuff she likes to do, and ask her out again. Best of luck.
2006-12-11 20:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋