Do you believe you should know yourself, like be secure and confident in yourself before you get involved in a relationship? Or do you think you discover those things as you move along in a relationship? It's funny, because I find there are people who are either always in a relationship or completely opposite, like always single. Maybe it's fear of commitment or they're just happy being independent.
2006-12-11 12:27:28 · 17 answers · asked by jenahfah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
call me at (1 800 get a life)i ll tell you
2006-12-11 12:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by armond425 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't use the word should, but I think it will create a more secure, comfortable relationship if you are first secure and confident in yourself. BUT, at the same time, I think you discover those things as you EXPERIENCE more, which includes being involved in relationships.
You ever notice how people rarely do what others advise them to do, no matter how helpful it may seem, but once people go through the experience and "learn their lesson", then they do it? Point being, anyone could tell you "yes, be confident and secure in yourself first", but unless you go through a relationship as an insecure and unconfident person, you'll never really understand WHY it's helpful to be secure and confident.
The people who feel like they HAVE to be in a relationship are searching for and want to rely on an OUTSIDE source for their security and confidence. Which works, except when that outside source doesn't feel like being responsible for the other person's happiness (which is perfectly natural, we're all human after all). That's why many people consider it important to be secure and confident in yourself.
2006-12-11 20:34:53 · answer #2 · answered by JudasHero 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before getting into a relationship one should definitely know what they what from the other person for a long term standpoint.
Know the personality you are looking for, an easy going quiet or an always changing from hot to cold in their temperament., Know what you want out of life. Do you want to be the one that has to go out and work and support the family in time to come? Do you want some one that will help you in the things that you need to do as a mother and wife etc. Working together is good, but not to be dominating while working together.
What do you call fun and relaxing? Does it match the other person or will there be constant conflict in this area?
There is a lot that goes into a relationship. Make sure you take the time you need to be sure if this is the person you want to spend you ife with before youadvance into any relationship !!!
2006-12-11 20:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by groveton_32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is important to be secure with yourself, like that saying "it's hard to love someone else if you don't love yourself" because I personally entered a relationship where I wasn't at ease with who I was and everything and I had a lot of trouble understanding why he wanted ME, and I spent a lot of time obsessing over trying to look good to impress him and stuff...I think it would make things a lot easier to know yourself, but also relatioships can help you discover things about yourself that you didn't know before. You just have to be open minded to that when getting into a relationship.
2006-12-11 20:31:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely know yourself first. You may think you're okay with certain things in theory, then find out otherwise once you're IN a relationship. Not good. People who are always single probably know themselves very well, and won't settle for less than what they know they want in a partner. I'm like that. I've been single a long time, simply because I know a deal breaker when it comes along, and I don't fool myself into thinking I could "cope with it".
2006-12-11 20:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Jeri C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just take the time and get to know each other really well. Once you're ready, just take the chance of being together and move along the way. it's weird because i have a friend who's been talking to this guy for over 2 years yet, they haven't gotten together. they sure act like a couple, but the guy is scared because he doesn't want to lose a great friendship with her... i don't udnerstand sometimes. just get together already! right? people have their opinions. in my case, i would get to know the person and if it's going to take LONG, i'll drop it.
2006-12-11 20:32:54 · answer #6 · answered by lady hiphop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends.. because I'm 22, and I have lived a very hard life... like I was moleasted and abused I was used too.. and growing up I hated life.. I wanted to give up and just die everyday I honestly can't tell you a time I didn't cry at night going to bed.. and I have struggle to learn why I'm here and why I keep living when I feel like there is no one to love me, though I may be single now a year ago I met this guy... and it was hard to be with him knowing I was always putting myself down.. I was never confident I didn't feel like anybody wanted me for me.. with all the things I been thru he was the first guy I was starting to let in my life..
anyways.. time went by and he got to know who I was.. we got to a point where he could tell that it was ok for him to hold my hand and I remember how it felt... slowly but surely we continued to see each other and our relationship grew... though at times I wish I was more confident.. he knew what I had been thru and it was nice that he had that understanding because he was the first guy I let in my life.. with my premission.. you know.. and on the other hand it gave me a chance to open up to feel good.. I made alot of chances because he gave me the experince.. people tell me you can't love someone if you can't love yourself.. but I felt strongly for him and if we were still together I'm sure I would fall in love..
the moral of the story is.. your heart will guide you.. and let no one tell you because experinces are experinces.. it's taking the chance.. that makes you know..
2006-12-11 20:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by endlesslove 24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well having been in both situations I can only say both, do know yourself and be secure and confident, but when you enter a relationship try to learn something about your self as well that way if the relationship doesn't work out you at lease learned something example I am against pre marital sex so when my boyfriend asked me about sex I told him that later on he cheated on me and I learned about myself that I am not a doormat.
2006-12-11 20:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by ontariopetitelady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really do have to find yourself and become secure with yourself before you enter a serious relationship. If you don't, the relationship itself will always be insecure ad it won't work.
2006-12-11 20:29:08 · answer #9 · answered by dontimaginetheyllallcometrue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its definitely a plus if you know yourself before asking someone to know you. but you do learn alot about yourself as you go along and date and get into relationships. i have always been in a relationship and they never seem to work out. so i'm taking a break, trying to get things straight before i ask someone to know me, when i don't even know me.
2006-12-11 20:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by grnramlvr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes becuz if u dont no urself how can u xpect the other person 2 no u?! and if u now urself and how far ur willing 2 go in a relationship u r less likely 2 get into sticky situations if u no what i mean
2006-12-11 20:31:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋