My family doesn't have a history of longevity, so have lost close aunt's and grandparents to death. The same is true of a few old friends. How do I react? You could say that I really don't, not in an impetuous or melodramatic way. When I learn that someone has died or is near death, I become inquisitive, wanting to know everything I can about how they died or what the problem is. I am willing to try and console those who may be more deeply affected than me, though I don't enjoy it or have a talent for it. But I don't cry with them. I don't hug them, unless they hug me. And I feel like I can understand them but don't feel or even desire empathy in that situation. Today, I got some bad news. My grandfather, a close relative who I bonded with and never lived more than 30 minutes away from, is in the hospital with a possibly fatal ulcer. I just came back home from visiting that room with my crying mom and cousin. I just didn't feel what they did. Should I?
2006-12-11 12:25:31 · 9 answers · asked by Subconsciousless 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Everyone has a different way of dealing with death and dying. It is an inevitable destiny for all people. Some people get totally immersed and consumed with the process and the aftermath of these events and others tend to detach themselves and move on. I have seen the extreme on both sides and all I can say is to each his own. Grief has no set rules but when it impedes and interferes with one's ability to carry on their daily activities effectively over a prolonged period, then it is time to seek professional psychological intervention.
2006-12-11 12:49:31 · answer #1 · answered by SunFun 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you! People deal with not only death but life in different ways. You stated that your family doesn't have a history of longevity and maybe that has something to do with your feelings. When you expect things, you just prepare yourself for the outcome. The main thing is please don't bottle up your feelings inside that can be devastating. If you wanna cry, cry and if not don't fake tears or feelings that are really not there.
I'm sure you love your grandfather a lot and not matter the outcome you'll still love him. Just be there for him and pray for him that he gets better.
2006-12-11 20:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by juicy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people have quite varying methods of coping with an idea as foreign as death or the possibility of death. The last thing you should ever feel, however, is that there is something "wrong" with your method - no method is better than another, because, put simply, everyone is too different for there to be a strict formula for grief. The fact that you even try to console and, perhaps more importantly, understand others who lose loved ones proves that you aren't some emotionless wall; quite on the contrary, you -do- have feelings and sympathy for others. You are not abnormal or "wrong" in the least.
2006-12-11 20:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by skibbleyboo66 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Everybody faces each circumstance in life differently. Some can cry at the thought of death, then at the time of death to someone close, they seem to be as calm as can be. There is some people that are very strong emotionally to the point they can except anything in the time of death and be able to radiate peace. If you are a very excitable person then the tears flow at anything and then they can be shut off just as quick. so, don't worry about how you are reacting to these situations, just allow yourself to accept yourself as you are, and help others through the tough times!
2006-12-11 20:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by groveton_32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone reacts different to death. There is nothing wrong with you. I have seen wives lose their husbands and never shed a tear, not because they didn't love them, but because they didn't want to show their grief in public. They saved it for when they were alone. I lost a sister and never shed a tear in front of my parents. I did my best to be strong for them and console them and be there for them. When I was alone, that was a different story. Everyone shows their grief in a different way. Also, you don't say how old you are. Perhaps you are not old enough to fully grasp the emotional side of death.
2006-12-11 20:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by jnmb052 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I went to visit my father, I knew in my heart he was dying. I whispered in my father's ear
"I love you dad ...I'll see you soon"
I did not say good bye to my father because I believe some how in the grand power of things we will see each other again.
That alone gave me peace and knowing that my father no longer had to suffer the pain he was going through was my happiness for him.
2006-12-11 20:44:52 · answer #6 · answered by lm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know some people just don't have real emotional reactions towards things.... My grandfather is in the hospital dying... I cry but thats just me
2006-12-11 20:36:05 · answer #7 · answered by littlepirateprincess_93 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude! not having a reaction to death i think is a good thing cuz death is part of the cycle and everyone has to die sometime and if it doesn't affect you then that's good then you wont be distracted by it . compassion is useless
2006-12-11 22:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by Reaper G 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone handles death differently. I'm sure you "feel it", just in a different way. Don't be so hard on yourself.
2006-12-11 20:34:56 · answer #9 · answered by katie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋