I have to bring them to school and pick them up -- she resents this but says she truly loves me and doesn't want to break up.
Is it over or is there anything I can do?
Added wrinkle: she had an abortion some time ago and I think this makes her feel guilty... I need advice!!!
2006-12-11 11:39:44 · 33 answers · asked by kp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
frankly to tell you the truth, if this girl is asking you to put her before your kids, then shes just to immature for you . this is coming from someone who would love it if my guy wanted to be around me all the time. but the truth of it is that if you really love someone, you need to be unselfish enough to give the one you love the space they need . and at the end of the day when theres still some time for her, then she should be honored that you have taken some time out of your extremely hecktick day. too many of us put to much emphasis on the quantity and not the quality. oh and why is it that if we arent in relationships we feel like our world falls apart. trust me there are better fish in the sea. its up to you to be selfish for your kids. you dont want to be with a woman that is gonna stress out the kids's dad. that unfare to them .you have to make sure that you are happy with you. dont let some selfish little teany bopper come and shake things up. and if she had an abortion thats sad but its her problem. not yours so seriously, think of you and your kids. if shes gonna bring too much drama to your life then get rid of her quick. things rub off on kids way too quick. also, my best friend is a single mother of 2. this is why i know this. i have watched those kids grow up and they see everything. they question everything.dont settle with a girl. and actually what i tell her is dont bring home anyone new at first. wait to bring them home till you feel like this maybe the one. because if you are constantly dating, it will give bad impressions to your kids, theyll get attatched and when the person leaves the children are left confused and hurt. dont base being with someone based on how the kids feel about them either. there are compatabilities for everyone. it doesnt mean whoes compatable with you will becompatable with them. this is where you teach them tollerance. if you need more advice id be happy to help. trust me i watch and learn.my address is skysmama77@yahoo.com
2006-12-11 11:56:26 · answer #1 · answered by solas lethe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she has issues and tons of baggage. She is also incredibly selfish to act this way. I don't think the fact she had an abortion is making her feel guilty. She sounds like a control freak. I see this relationship heading nowhere, but into deep trouble. Your kids come first over anything else. I think you need to carefully evaluate what you are getting into with a person like this and then make a serious decision as to weather or not you want to stay with someone like this.
2006-12-11 11:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by Janine E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the abortion was the result of you not wanting anymore children children I can understand She could be hurt and your current children might be a constant reminder of that. However if the abortion is her choice, she may consider your children as baggage and asking you to choose between her and your kids. Remember your kids come first! They are your #1 priority and should not be cheated out of spending time with you. If she wants more time with you include her in activities and events you enjoy with your children. If she does not want to share you, she does not love you. Find someone that wants to join your life not be your life. I hope I was help full to you and good luck!
2006-12-11 12:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by sweetness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesnt truly love you.Sorry truth hurts sometime.And yes i can know this without knowing either one of you personally for the simple fact that if she did truly love you..she would also love your kids.You being a good father and taking care of your children is your first prority and if she loved you,not only would she accept that...it would be what she wanted also.She should feel no resentment towards your children...and if she loved you she would not want to take your time away from your children so you can spend it with her instead.Tell her if she cant deal with you spending time with your kids then shes not important enough for you to make time for her.
2006-12-11 11:47:27 · answer #4 · answered by swanlbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids have no other father. They MUST come first. They had no choice about being brought into this world, they had no choice about being part of a broken family. You put them in this position, and you have a RESPONSIBILITY to take care of them. If that means you have to find a less selfish girlfriend, then so be it.
And by the way, guilt goes along with abortion. If she couldn't handle the guilt, she shouldn't have killed the baby.
2006-12-11 11:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by wuxxler 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of her, she will only get worse. What is attractive about a woman who has no maternal instincts? If she becomes part of your life and your children's don't you want someone who would comfort and nurture your children, not make their lives a living hell? If she doesn't realize that children should come first then she is either extremely selfish and self centered or just plain immature, either way lose the loser. And anyway, what does that say about her, that she would want a man who would abandon and neglect his children? Do you want to be that man for her?
2006-12-11 11:46:15 · answer #6 · answered by Princess~C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she needs to get over herself!!
Your kids are your number 1 priority, and it sounds like she wants to be your ONLY priority. She seems very selfish if she resents this, and if you are to go on with your relationship, she has got to get over it. Just personally, i wouldn't have anyone around my kids who resented even 1 hair on their heads. That wouldn't be good enough for me!
Maybe you need to be more firm with laying the ground rules about whats acceptable and whats not. And if she truly loves you, she'll love you even with pink polka dots AND the kiddies as well...
If she has hang-ups over her abortion, she needs to get real and put things into perspective. You and your kids are not the cause of what happened, that decision lays with her totally. She needs to realise they are little people themselves and aren't to blame for her mistakes.
2006-12-11 11:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by holdengal81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you need to move on, or she needs to grow up. your kids are more important then she will ever be(i am a single parent) and she needs to understand that. what do you do about work? or does she come with you there too? you need someone who is understanding to your situation otherwise you and your children will never be truly happy. she doesn't "truly" love you if she has a hard time excepting your children as a major part of your life!!!!
2006-12-11 11:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by maggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it sounds like she is trying to control you. I think you need to sit down and talk to her. Guys need guy time. That's all there is to it. And you have kids. No matter what your kids come first. If she can't understand that just tell her blood is thicker then water. Well best of luck to you sweetie. I hope everything works out for you. If it was meant to be it would be.
2006-12-11 11:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by Hugs and Kisses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feeling guilty about an abortion is a consequense she should have thought of before she got it.... but it really has nothing to do with your situation.
wake up
If you have custody of your kids for a few days or every day, they are your top priority... anyone you choose to be with absolutely must be on board with this. There is no compromise dear.
2006-12-11 11:43:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋