New 24 yr old GF has 2 yr old son (not mine), nice car & home. I am 21 w / nice car & home. In my car, she gives him candy & bubble gum now stuck in the seats and windows also McDonald Drinks instead of sippy cups soda wasted in the back seat. At my house he climbs on the glass tables and furniture (scary). He pulls the lamps off the tables, pours juice on the floor, tissue everywhere, knocks over the garbage, throws his toys at my Plasma TV and Glass Patio Door - she does nothing, but would get upset at me if I try to keep him from hurting himself. She do not allow eating/drinking in her car but if I try to enforce the same rules, she says he's a child and needs to eat NOW and she don't like to sit & eat at the restaurants. What's Wrong With This Picture? Is it Bad Parenting? or Property Hating? I don't know and need your help with this... believe me, MANY things have been broken in my house, but I don't really want to call it off because of her child's Bad Azz Behavior.
2006-12-11 11:19:35 · 13 answers · asked by jr_ashton 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You're in a tough situation. What the child is doing is very typical toddler behavior. However, that doesn't excuse your gf for allowing him to behave like that especially in your house. First off if they are in your house you have every right to ask him not to do something. But do so in a nice way. If he's climbing on the table then ask him to get down because you're afraid that he might hurt himself. Always explain to him why he shouldn't do something. Talk with your gf and let her know your concerns. Try not to come across that you are criticing or balming her parenting. She might be doing the best she can given that she is a single parent. You must really care for her or else this wouldn't be bothering you. But don't end the relationship for something he will out grow. But do know that most kids have these spouts even your own probably will. You're justified to be upset. After all they are your things. Maybe you can suggest that you both pick out some toys for him to have at your house so he won't feel the need to get into things. Another idea is to take him to a park or outside to wear off energy before he goes to your home. We all like to have nice things. But with a toddler around the trick is to distract them with something else so they don't want to play with delicate items or endanger themself by doing something they shouldn't. As far as the car is concerned insist that she drive and explain that it's not fair that she allows him to eat in your car and not hers. Tell her you would be happy to find a place where he can eat. But you would prefer it if he doesn't eat in your car. You could also come up with a compromise and if he does have to eat then only allow him to have snacks that are easy to clean up and water to drink.
2006-12-11 11:48:07 · answer #1 · answered by AB11 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The boy is acting like a 2yo. They push limits because they want to see how far they can go. The fact that she's not doing anything to stop the behavior is bad parenting. The fact that she's chastising you when you try to 'parent' (when you really shouldn't have to be) is passive-aggression.
The problem isn't her son; it's her. She has no respect for you, your property, or your opinion. If she did, she'd make more of an effort to make her son see that your stuff should be treated like her stuff. In all honesty, I'd break up with her simply because she doesn't LIKE you, or she's taking her aggression towards her son's daddy out on you because you're a man.
2006-12-11 11:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by shoujomaniac101 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You can't blame the child for this. If his mom lets him get away with it - it's her fault. If you like this woman enough to keep seeing her sit down and let her know ( in a nice way) that her child should have the same rules in your house and car that he does with his mom's. But the way you talk about it - it sounds like she has issues with you and your stuff. If she won't make her son/daughter abide by your rules in your home than you will have to let her know that they won't be allowed over - you're things are as special to you as her things are to her.
2006-12-11 11:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by Kimberly B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think like I could study or write some thing continuously, and it drives me loopy as quickly as I purely prefer to loosen up....that and biting my nails yet i end approximately 2 months in the past and that i havent bit them because of the fact that, rather, they r looking superb for the 1st time in my existence :) i used to be a *picker* , like u, until i googled it.....it says that those that %. haven't any administration over the choosing and study themselves gruesome and so on. so i end. i on no account considered what the scars mentioned approximately who i became into below until i study it. i confirmed them lol
2016-10-18 03:25:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two year old is normal, all toddlers do that. But not all of them get away with it. Sounds like she needs to grow up and become a real parent, and a real partner.
If this persists, you should reconsider the relationship with her. Not because of the boy, but because of her attitude.
2006-12-11 11:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by SS90 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are telling the truth here, it sounds like she is a horrible mother. She has no respect for you, or your stuff. And most of all she has such bad disipline skills that her child is actually allowed to put himself in danger right in front of her, and she does nothing! This is sad. You deserve better in a GF, and the child deserves better in a mother. Get yourself out of this sitiuation.
2006-12-11 11:25:32 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan's Ma 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Whenever going with her and her kid somewhere, INSIST she drive because you don't want him eating in your car. Do not budge. Also, don't invite them to your place because he makes too much mess.
Let her know you will revisit this decision at a later time and see if his behavior has changed.
2006-12-11 11:25:53 · answer #7 · answered by apt230 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get her this course http://bambiberg.rehuxley.hop.clickbank.net with a sweet not that you really like her and want it to work out, but that she needs to get a handle on parenting better.
2006-12-14 06:36:52 · answer #8 · answered by insureman613 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares about him hurting himself? Maybe he needs to so that he'll stop doing all that stuff. Seriously though, she needs to respect your wishes while she's in your car and in your home. If the kid needs to eat NOW, stop the car and have them stand outside the car and eat. A couple of times of that maybe she'll get the picture. It's just going to get worse if she doesn't discipline the little hellion--I mean little angel now. Be glad she's just a "girlfriend" and not wife at this point.
2006-12-11 11:25:11 · answer #9 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 2⤊ 5⤋
I'd say she doesn't respect you, your wishes, your rules, or your property and is passing this disrespect on to her son.
2006-12-11 18:35:36 · answer #10 · answered by Cassiopeia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋