I am 20, and we have been dating for about a year. WE dated in high school as well, and i dumped her after about a year, she cheated on me. I had another girlfriend but I did not feel nearly as happy with her as i do with my current girlfriend. We go to different colleges, and i always pester her whenever she goes out to bars and stuff. I don't find myself enjoying life except for when I am with her. Whenever we go out together with other people, we always fight because I try to be just iwth her and she wants to socialize with other people. My rationale is that I love her more than anyone else so why should i waste time socializing with other people who i do not like as much as her. She likes me a lot but says sh has friends and stuff who matter too. we always fight and make up about the same thing, me smothering her. I think i just love her a real lot. What can I do? AM i crazy?
2006-12-11 10:53:09 · 14 answers · asked by william p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
#1) Dude get a life! the reason u 'obsess' is because u have nothing worth while going on beside's her. find out what things u like to do that do NOT include her and do 'em.
2) u can't force yourself to trust her. that's probably the main reason u smother her. take it from me if she cheated once she's capable of doin it again and there's a good chance she will. i mean she IS in college. which brings me to #3
3) dude you are in COLLEGE! most college populations, chicks outnumber D!CKS like 3 to 1. WHAT THE HELL ARE U DOIN OBSESSIN OVER 1 CHICK!?!??? this is the time in your life u should be bangin a new chick every week!! trust me it get's more difficult to score when u get older and have less time to chase tail. when your not studyin u should be flirtin/kickin it to/hollerin at, the nearest cute chick to u. snap out of it!!
4) NEVER, EVER, EVER!!! allow yourself to be in a relationship where your more into the chick than she is into u. it never works. trust me.
2006-12-11 11:02:01 · answer #1 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not crazy. I think you may have some sort of obsession with her, but that's natural for alot of people. You may have a jealousy problem but that can sometimes be good because it shows you are dedicated to only her. But you do need to socailize and get on with life. Maybe you should start hanging out with people she may be good acquaintences with or something like that. Try some different stuff and see how it works out.
2006-12-11 19:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by VandyViolin09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the exact same situation. I think deep down, since she cheated before, you have a bit of a trust issue, and it leaks out as jealousy. Do you worry what she's doing when you're not together? It may not feel natural, but I bet if you can force yourself to socialize on your own more, and be more independent, you will feel more self-confident, and that will help your relationship.
2006-12-11 18:57:45 · answer #3 · answered by Wendy H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all this girl you say you love a lot don't love you. I think she likes the chase of it. And maybe you do too. You only enjoy life with just when your around her. Your not thinking about yourself very clearing. You need to start reading self help books like ten stupid things men do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger. And get it fast. Because you sound like the boy who lost his way back home. Why would you want to marry a person you can't get along with. Because if your this crazy I know your crazy enough to think marriage with this girl. You really need to get it together. Your only 20 there's more girls out there, who going to love and respect you and she just not into YOU. It don't mean your a bad person it just means you and her is NOT a match. If you stay with this girl your going to be very unhappy in your personal life. She is going walk all over you and she going to get a way with it time after time, until you finally draw the line in the sand. Trust me I'm not trying to put you down I just wish you open up your eyes in see clearing were this crazy relationship is going. You know it's going know were. I just hate to see you waste yrs of your life. This women is no good for you. You can find better. And you think you have to follow your heart? No you don't because your dealing with feelings and feelings are not facts. Feelings come in go, and some feelings hurt, but those are the ones you learn from. You really need to look at the facts. God Bless You. I have a son who is 20 and I would hate to hear something like this from him. And when I tell you don't waste yrs of your life it's not worth it because I did 2 marriages 10yrs with the first and 10 yrs with the second and guess what they acted like your girlfriend, but a male form of it. And guess what it never gets better. Don't waste your life with a person like her.You really need to set down in think.
2006-12-11 19:23:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well let me ask you a question. If you had friends and you and her were out and seen them in public would you be mad if she said no you are not alowed to talk to them? So you have to look at it from her point of veiw she is just trying to be nice to her freinds. Let her talk to people are you are going to end of losing her over this. You want her to be happy so you need to tell her that every once and a while you want to go out to dinner so it can just be the two of you since you hardly ever see each other.
2006-12-11 19:02:05 · answer #5 · answered by EMTGIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not crazy. People have different needs for closeness vs. independence. It just sounds like you have a stronger need for closeness than your gf. Couples fight about this issue all the time! You can't help the way you are. What one girl consider "smothering" another girl (me for example!) considers a dream come true! I think your gf is lucky to be so loved.
2006-12-11 19:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by F 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
heh well im glad you actually have the girl of your dreams. I wouldn't know i've tried so hard but i can't get some girl off of my mind. If i were you i'd really make sure you just let her have her own time. it might be hard but you could end up losing her one of these times if she get too tied up from it. I know where your coming from though, your not crazy. You just know what you want but if you want to hold onto her let her have time with her friends. If you play your cards right u'll have the rest of your life to spend with her. Good luck bro
2006-12-11 18:59:56 · answer #7 · answered by nathan R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh, i know it can be hard. you just love her so much, and she doesnt understand that. both of you have to chill. she has to spend more time with you & show you more affection & you have to give her more space. she may love you a lot too... you just have to give her time to realize that. sometimes i feel like im crazy in love too, your nmot alone. love is a mixture of wonderful feelings, many of them new feelings that you have never felt before. you just have to express your love at different times. mabye when you two are alone rather than in public.
i hope i helped.
2006-12-11 19:21:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you're not loving her — you're stifling her. You can't stand the thought of her having fun with someone other than you. Get a social life of your own and stop trying to horn in on hers.
2006-12-11 18:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ever wach "Malcom in the Middle" Dont stalk her , have a mutual relations with her, dont bug her to often but 3-4 times a week is good, Apologize for breaking up
2006-12-11 19:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋