Confused soldier?

Question

My husband has been deployed to Iraq for four months, but he will be gone for a year. He recently came home for R&R for two weeks and it was hell. I dont know who that man was, but he wasnt my husband. My husband had issues before he got married, but I figured we all have issues and thats just a part of life. But its seriously gone overboard. He has symptoms of paranoia, he talks to himself, and lashes out at me for no reason. He twists everything people say to him and he hears things. He thinks people are always staring at him. when their not. We always had a very good relationship, no arguments, we seemed to agree on things, or agree to disagree. But now everything is such a big debate and I am scared. His violent behavior is really really scaring me and I am trying so hard to be supportive. I dont know what he wants from me. He thinks I am sending "subliminal messages" to him. On top of that, we have a preemie with special needs. I dont know what to do.

Plus, he refuses help, he says nothing is wrong with him. Even his first sgt. has noticed a drastic change in him. And is worried.

Answer 1

he needs professional help ASAP, call his commanding officer!

Answer 2

Hi there India
You need to very proactive with trying to urge him for help. If his 1st sg has noticed see what he can do to initiate counseling.
After only 4 months Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome should not be so great. Has he deployed on other tours? What kind of issues did he have before the marriage?

As a military wife, you know there are many benefits available to you. Family services can help you if you do not know your way to maneuver around them to get your husband the help he needs. With him over seas again there is not too much you can do until he gets home. Give him a reason to come home. The baby, you and your love. Daily e-mails, really encourage him during your phone calls.Reassure him of how proud you are and then when he gets home if he is still a stranger you will need professional help. Those delusions he is having can be assign of something far greater then just "issues"
Good luck and take care feel free to e-mail me if you ever need to talk.

Answer 3

It sounds like he had depression, but it was mostly under control until he shipped. It also sounds like the stress of combat got to him when he was deployed. All the symptoms of depression are lining up, from the tendency to twist everything to violent outbursts. He's probably refusing treatment for a few reasons: he genuinely doesn't see the change, he doesn't want to be pulled off active duty, or he may believe that he can handle any difficulties without medical help. In any case, 2 weeks was far too short a time for him to recover from his experiences.

He could probably use treatment, though. If his CO is also seeing changes in him, he may pull him off duty and put him into treatment. Only one thing worries me...if he sees his illness as a detriment to helping his buddies out there, he may be extremely angry at the idea of being pulled out. I just hope he can realize what's going on and get control of himself before he does something he regrets.

What can you do? Hopefully you will have a longer break to work with next time. Just stay supportive, remain patient during his outbursts, and reach out to him when he calms down.

Answer 4

My uncle just got back from Iraq not to long ago and the war has effected him as well. A couple of nights ago we had a thunderstorm and he woke up thinking the house was under attack. Its very hard for us to try and cope with him but we all try and stay positive. There is no way we could understand and probably be able to cope with the things that he has seen in war so we need to be patient and hope that he will get better. Good luck xooxxooxox

Answer 5

Being a soldier takes alot out of a man or a woman. With time his world becomes the one he is in. With heightened stress and lack of sleep, slowly the mind may slip away. Don't take personal the way he is treating you now. He has gone through many trials while away, including the trial of not being with you. I assume that the combination of mental images, personality complexes, that has probably now heightened, not to mention being hardened into a warrior has lead him to the person he is today. Good thing is that he did come to you, and he does talk to you, even if it is through argument. Remember these warriors are taking and following orders all day, it is perhaps his way of saying "my voice will be heard" in the world that he has been living. I suggest you bring family in as a stepping stone for support, and perhaps a guy friend that could maybe talk to him along a different level. Perhaps if they could open up to him, and he to them, they can proceed to professional help, which I strongly believe he needs. Good luck. Nurture Love and Share it.

Answer 6

Oh my gosh. I wish I could help you. I too am raising a preemie and that alone is so much work. You husband needs professional help ASAP. See if you can get him in to see his regular family doctor. I don't know where you live but in Florida there is a baker act law. If you feel that someone may harm themselves or someone else, then they can be put in a mental unit and evaluated. See if your state offers something like that. Good Luck and don't stop trying to get him help until you succeed.

Answer 7

It sounds like he is suffering from ptsd (Post Traumatic Stress disorder). It is VERY common among those who have fought in the military. He really does need some sort of therapy or treatment as it doesn;t tend to simply go away by itself> Going back to Iraq can only serve to make it worse. The military shouldn;t even allow him to be active if he is suffering from it badly. Talk to his superior officer and see whaat can be done. His belief that nothing is wrong may may it difficult for you to convince him to get treatment, but the VA has specific programs for those soldiers who don't want or think they need treatment.

Answer 8

He may be suffering from stress due to his deployment. The arm forces have counseling hot lines for people in just your situation. Remember a couple of year ago, there were a rash of domestic violence incidents where returning servicemen or family members were injured badly. "You" truly want to prevent that.
So, while he away this time, try to connect with him on the issues in your lives and how y'all might deal with them. Then maybe you both can agree on counseling the next time he is home.

Answer 9

This man needs help ASAP...

He is suffering from a disorder called Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, it affects a lot of soldiers who seen combat and others who seen very bad events..

Just show him love and affection, act like you support him and don't get too close on his personal area... But call his commanding officer and people you know that can help him.. PTSD can be treated, but it can cause bad things to happen if left untreated..

Answer 10

Personality changes are the first sign of a mental health problem developing. You said he was in Iraq and that's telling me he is suffering from post traumatic stress. This can be caused by the intense stress soldiers undergo while in combat. Unfortunately, unless he gets help to manage it, he probably wont improve. Secondly if he redeploys it could get worse and potentially put those around him in jeopardy as well. He is apparently displaying symptoms of hyper-vigilance from your description. His unit commanders would hopefully notice his behavior and refer him to medical. I hate to suggest this but if he is getting that bad you might have to say something to his superiors.

Answer 11

Petty petty poppycock...With all that is going on contained in the rustic, cities, states, the war in Afghanistan, the international, the GOP-broken economic gadget, and the different contemporary disaster or experience, a meant (you grant no credible source or context) call combination-up of one soldier at one experience is what you opt for to nitpick? you recognize a marine? I served for the duration of Vietnam, knowledgeable as a journalist, and comprehend incredibly some wrestle Marines, military wrestle troops, and army medics---heroes one and all. There are at present around ninety 9,000 troops serving energetic duty in Afghanistan and yet another 50,000 in a contingency team nevertheless in Iraq (although the wrestle challenge resulted in Iraq on August 31, 2010 as President Obama had promised). No American president contraptions up his very own teleprompter, so the guy you ought to be criticizing (if everyone) for a tiny gaffe is the guy who contraptions up the teleprompter, do no longer you think of? And wager what, might-be denigrator of a sitting democratically elected U.S. president for the duration of a time whilst this u . s . a . is at war...i'm having a wager that if what you're saying is actual our President Obama spoke in my view with the relatives of whichever "fallen soldier" had his call misspoken. Did you are trying this? i'm having a wager no longer. i'm additionally having a wager that if the Marine you declare to comprehend is "a real patriot," as you advise, he might inform you that when this u . s . a . is at war you do no longer attempt to belittle or undermine a sitting U.S. president! shame on you!