isnt ok with it because hes worried about a new man in my life after being my dad for over 10 years any suggestions to what i should do?
2006-12-11 10:24:32 · 8 answers · asked by clayton a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes sweety, first suggestion is this is not your problem, I know it feels that way but it just plain isn't.
sounds to me like your dad has issues of his own that have nothing to do with you or your mom or step dad, for that matter. You should not be a part of, or aware of the internal struggles tween the rents, honestly, they are acting more like children than you sound to be...
14 is the age of concent w/regard to who you live w/in terms of parents and who you will and will not see....but even at 13, it is up to YOU....you have made it clear what THEY want, but made no mention of what you want...think about what you want and go with that. good luck to you, it can't be easy...I feel bad for you but the fact that you brought it up makes me have faith that you are trying to work it out.
2006-12-11 10:34:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, first of all, you ought to get together with your biological dad because you probably have a ton of questions to ask him and they need to be answered. Just having him answer the questions does NOT make him your Dad. Damage (unfortunately) has been done whether he likes it or not. Your Dad (note the capital referring to your Dad at home) needs to know that he is not going to be replaced. You can tell him that. I would certainly start the relationship on the slow side. . . maybe a trip to McDonalds then back home. . 2nd time maybe a movie, a snack, back home, etc.
After a couple of times together you'll begin to find out how much time you want to spend with him. You'll also have a chance to see how your family reacts to him visiting. Watch out for one thing. . . if your dad promises to take your somewhere and then comes up with an excuse for not going or changes the date over and over you'll want to discuss that with your Mom and Dad. Good luck
2006-12-11 10:36:20 · answer #2 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him from your heart. Tell him how good the last 10 years have been and its "thanks" to him. :) Let him know there is nothing to worry about. He is needing reassurance, lots!!! Make him aware that over the years you have bonded, (no one can ever erase or take this away)! "Thanks" to him you were never without a father guidance and love. Tell him meeting your real father, will not change how you feel about him and the wonderful life the two of you have shared. And the rest will be spoken in your actions. People don't like sharing their children. Its a human nature. But as long as there is confirmation it will be a easier transition for him. I know and you know, you have enough love for two Dad's. :) I hope the best for the 3 of you!!!
2006-12-11 10:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying your step-dad has a problem with this? If I am understanding you correctly, he really doesn't have anything to say about it. If your bio dad wants to be a father to you, and your mother doesn't have a problem with that, and you don't have a problem with it, then it is his right. Your step-dad is probably feeling a little jealous, and is afraid that you will like your bio dad more than him. Please, begin this relationship with your bio dad. Just don't get your hopes up too high until he proves he can be trusted. After all, he is a stranger to you and has already left you once.
2006-12-11 10:39:56 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about this but your (Dad), although he may care for you totally. Isn't your real Dad. I know that's not very politically correct but it is the truth.
If you don't know where you came from you'll never really know who you are.
Obviously be nice to your (Dad) about this and try your best to reassure him. But if you let this issue come between you and your natural Dad. It'll be you that's going to miss out in the long term.
2006-12-11 10:33:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and tell him that you know who has been there for you all this time and that you love him for it.
Tell him that all your father can be at this point is a friend because you already have a dad and maybe he'll be ok with it too.
2006-12-11 10:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by mistique1818 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
im not answering this question but i want to know if ur single or not r u a guy
2006-12-11 10:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is still your dad, no matter what.
2006-12-11 11:18:39 · answer #8 · answered by Evie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋