My 16yr old daughter is dating a proper little plank..Do I leave be and let her see for herself or do something about it
2006-12-11 09:58:22 · 31 answers · asked by . 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She has to find out for herself. Get ready to pick up the pieces - probably over the Christmas holidays.
2006-12-11 19:43:46 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh man... this brings back so many memories of my first, real, long-term girlfriend...
I say that you should leave her to do her own thing. Girls like to go for the 'bad boys' because they seem to be the more adventurous types. Not like I could blame 'em, either. I fancy a lady that keeps me on my toes just as much as I keep her on hers.
The attraction between these (seemingly) polar opposites is simple; girls don't like a push-over, and the 'bad boys' are far from that. Unfortunately, as she will learn that the bad boys are bad news in the long run. It may take weeks or it may take months (for me, it took a year) to figure out that this type of is not as desirable as one may have thought. She will find out that the bad boy doesn't have any manners, doesn't treat her the way she thought she'd be treated, and is someone she'd rather not associate with in due time.
Keep in mind that she can only learn from experience (believe me, I know it's hard, but some mistakes are best learned through experience.. I know most of mine are, and I don't repeat them.. most of the time...)
What you can do as her mother is stand by her and, after she's fallen, be there with the tissues and hugs. After I realized that my girlfriend at the time was evil (she had the audacity to punch ME when she was mad at something else not pertaining to me!), I broke up with her, cried my eyes out (I mean, it WAS a year), and did so while mom was hugging me.
If you believe that you've done a good job in rearing your kid, then don't worry, she'll make the right decision eventually. It's human nature to explore the unknown--this is no different. Have faith in her, support her decisions, don't object too heavily to what she does. Like everyone above me has said, if you object, she will rebel and strive to prove that you wrong about the boyfriend.
Feel free to email me if you have any questions. I'll do anything i can to provide any assistance I can in the matter.
2006-12-11 18:15:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its called attraction . Men are attracted to visual looks and woman are attracted when a guy triggers certain attraction switches as you could call them this isent a logical decision its an emotional one so she isent choosing to feel that for the guy , i bet their are plenty of nice guys she rejected . Nice guys dont flip attraction switches in woman its a bilogical thing from the stone age woman needed to feel attraction to a man for a survival reason so a masculin guy who has certain traits will create attraction nice wussy guys dont because they would not let thye woman survive 40 000 years ago , humans still work the same sociaty has changed but attraction is still the same as the stone age in another 40 000 the human race might of adapted then woman can like and feel attraction to nice guys but until the well hes flipping those switches .
2006-12-12 08:28:55 · answer #3 · answered by badass-mofu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good girls don't always go for bad boys. However, I have heard that when your child is attracted to someone they have something that your own child does not. This person fulfills that lack. Hopefully, your daughter will not find this person interesting for any length of time and will learn what NOT to pick in the next "friend".
2006-12-11 18:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by J89434 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opposites only attract for short amounts of time - like high school relationships. Eventually they will probably disagree on something crucial and realize the relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be. I think it's ok to let it run its course somewhat as long as you can trust her to ultimately do the right thing. It's a good learning experience.
2006-12-11 18:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by Meriwether R. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bad guys and bad girls are always allluring and sexy...Being around bad people is different and not the same boring crap..Bad people tell you exactly how it is with no bullshit..Assertive, whereas most of the remainder of the world sees your hair, clothes and tells you how nice when a bad person asks what the **** did you do...You look like ****...This is so relaxing to be in the world of reality...
2006-12-11 18:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by ray b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you befriend the little plank and see if you can smooth off his rough edges and encourage him into a better route?
you know that your daughter will not give him up on your say so.
The best source of action would be to keep your eye on them both, so be very welcoming!
Nothing much else really you can do!
2006-12-11 18:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by kiku 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If opposites really attract, that clearly explains the outragous divorce rates in the US, as well as the number of women getting knocked up.
2006-12-11 18:02:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a weird psychology going on in good girls when they look at bad boys... if they can reform them, then one day the guy will look at the girl and go, "I owe it all to you." So in a lot of cases, it's more ego-stroking than crushing.
2006-12-11 18:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by shoujomaniac101 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My folks had a similar thing with my sister.
As long as you attempt to interfere, she will stay with him like a hawk - This is the rebellious part of a teenanger.
Let it slide, even agree with her, that they are suited together and she will soon give it up.
2006-12-11 18:07:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋