well i have a small crush on this guy who is totally cute but hes bi. He recently broke up with this GUY for me. Hes very cool to be around and he can be feminine which makes me feel A LOT more comfortable around him....but my friends told me NOT to go 4 it because he can cheat on me and they know he will...but he made so much effort to see me these past few weeks and he already got into a physical fight 4 me afoter only knwing him for 2 weeks. But I dont know what to do...I got him to break up with someone for me. (well...he decided to) How do I get him to be serious with me????? what do I do???? HELP!
2006-12-11 09:55:31 · 21 answers · asked by Mimi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi there
This guy does sound like he cares for you, but like everyone here says, alarm bells are ringing all over the place.
The gay community has a reputation for being promiscuous. Not every person is like this, but logically, it must be harder to find your 'soul mate' when you are forced to limit yourself to other gay men/women. It's no wonder that anyone in this situation feels confused!
It's not a big deal if he's had sexual relationships with men (as long as he stayed safe), but it's more his non-sexual-preference actions that are the problem.
He has left someone else for you. He got into a fight for you after 2 weeks of knowing you. What's more likely- this bisexual young man- who was already in a relationship- having a 'love at first sight' reaction and leaping to your defense to fight someone on your behalf... or that he is just an impulsive young man with perhaps a quick temper!
I'm not saying don't trust him, or not to go for it. Just keep a hold on your feelings- don't go telling yourself it's love when it's just a crush.
"How do I get him to be serious with me????? "
Quite simply, you don't. Just enjoy eachother's company and see how it all pans out. And if it gets sexual, make sure he discusses his past and use condoms.
2006-12-11 10:11:59 · answer #1 · answered by midsojo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is essential.
Bisexuality is the attraction to both sexes. It is not a lifestyle.
Some bisexuals are monagamous, meaning that when they are in a relationship with one person, they are faithful.
Some bisexuals may have a primary partner of a particular gender and then have an agreement that they can fool around with persons of the other gender.
Some are polyamorous, meaning that they have many relationships with many partners and are honest with everyone knowing who is having sex with whom.
Some bisexuals like to have sex with different people without having relationships.
Some bisexuals like to have a main relationship and cheat in secret.
My goodness, the different kind of relationships are endless, just like heterosexual and homosexual relationships.
This is why communication is important. The two of you need to find out what you need in a relationship and what you are willing to accept. Negotiation is important, and being true to yourself is essential.
He left a guy for you... Was he cheating on that guy? Or was their relationship open? Or did he leave him and then hook up with you? Answering these questions for yourself will help you to see the character of this fellow and help you in making a decision.
Honestly, you cannot really control another person. You say that you got him to break up with another guy and now you want him to get serious with you. Using manipulation to get what you want brings only temporary results at best. A relationship built on trust is more healthy. Honesty and communication brings about seriousness. Control, manipulation and ultimatums bring about drama and secrecy.
2006-12-11 10:08:57 · answer #2 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, how do you know any guy isn't going to step out on you? Does his being bisexual mean you have twice the competition? Maybe, maybe not. Being monogamous is an action, and a choice. If he is looking for an exclusive relationship, you're in luck. If that's not what he wants, well, you need to find a guy whose desires are more in line with your own. The point is, whether someone cheats isn't up to their sexual orientation, it's up their character.
2006-12-11 10:02:47 · answer #3 · answered by eschampion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's no more likely to cheat than any other guy or girl...being bi doesn't make a person a greater "cheat risk"...however, you said he broke-up with someone to be with you and THAT is a red flag...who's he going to meet down the road that he'll break up with you to be with? That's not kewl behavior...
If he wants to be serious with you, he'll let you know...but if I were you, I'd have serious reservations about being serious with anyone who dumps one partner at the drop of a hat, to be with someone else...
2006-12-11 09:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pass on, he's a gay and is barely attempting to be with a woman and calling himself a bi-sexual because of the fact he's not effectively coping with the reality that homosexuality isn't consistently many times happening. he will on no account rather love you and you're in for a brilliant number of harm in case you retain pursuing him. hit upon a real guy that is going to handle you like a princess; good success what ever you do.
2016-10-18 03:20:06 · answer #5 · answered by atalanta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...well I think you should go for him, You just have t be careful because this good be a Risky situation..he may still love that guy,...and what if he is more feminine than manly..It can lead to some problems.. Maybe go out on a few dates and make sure you can really trust him..
- Bailey S.
2006-12-11 10:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, usually how you start a thing off is how it's going to end.
Regardless of whether or not this guy is bi...he left someone he was already in a relationship with for you. Why would he not do the same to you?
2006-12-11 09:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
don't put yourself in a situation where you are just going to hurt yourself emotionally and physically in the future, get involve with some other guy but just be friendly with this guy if he is really nice, but getting emotionally involve is a VERY BAD IDEA!
2006-12-11 09:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is truy bi-sexual, then you are going to have to accept him for who he is and allow him to be satisfied sexually in your relationship. Maybe you guys can have three-ways or whatever floats your boats.
You are going to have to be open-minded and accept the relationship for what it is. Let it define itself over time and communicate constantly.
2006-12-11 10:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by darrellkern 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM ALONE RUN BABY RUN AWAY that is not a good situation to be in in the end someone will get hurt
2006-12-11 10:00:25 · answer #10 · answered by pyeface26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋