my mans sex drive has gone?

Question

i have very little self esteem its a long story but i truly believe my man loves me he makes plans for the future but this no sex is driving me mad he is a very inteligent man and has a high profile job all his friends are the same i think he gets his stimulation from them i just wonder what he gets from me like i said before we went counselling and it did help we had sex twice in the six months that we went and yes i have wondered if there is someone else i have found things out like he has another mobile number but he said its to do with work i think he does lead another life but its not another woman im sure of that. he just likes his privacy i have thought about getting kinky ect but id be so hurt if he rejected me want to be myself with him and show him this tiger but i have held back for so long im scared wish i could get inside his head. god that was deep eh

Answer 1

Get a vibrator. Good luck

Answer 2

You need to get on a level playing field here before you can even contemplate sex. You appear to have grown apart due to the absence of sex in the relationship.

The fact that you have low self esteem is not going to help you one little bit as you will be thinking that you are to blame that there is no intimacy between you. And I would suggest that you get back that self esteem. Have you been to see a counsellor on your own? It might be a good idea.

The male of the species find it very hard to open up and say what the problem really is. And often they subconsciously take their frustrations and feelings of inadequacies out on the one they love and resentment builds and then there is not common ground in which to share and solve personal problems. So it becomes one big vicious circle. One of you needs to break this circle.

You say that your man has a high power job it could be that he is very stressed about his job but again will not say and is bottling it all up inside. And yes a mans job is often the most important thing in their life. As with out it they feel worthless and this is where understanding on your part comes in. Let him have his job. But tell him to leave it at work and that you need him to be there at home with you mentally and not worrying about work all the time.

Try a romantic week-end away and get a little drunk the pair of you. This way you can let your own inhibitions fly out the window for once and not feel embrassed to show the sexy side of your nature. Go for it!

I feel for you as you must feel as though you are ready to burst at the seams. Once that wedge is between you it is very hard to shift, but with a little tender loving care on both sides sex can be come part of your love making again.

All the best and do not blame yourself. Get him by the balls and tell him whats what

Answer 3

Baby gurl, check it, i no u dont want to get rejected but u gta try all options, NO man just looses his sex drive, either he is cheating, but before u make accusations, try the kinky stuff, or even just make things romantic, like watch a film and get out a bottle of bubbly, and then take it to the bedroom, if uve tried this before hand hes the type to stop it, then maybe u need to get kinky and geet out the handcuffs so he cant leave,make him want u, another thing DONT be to needy cos needyness just makes some one want you less..

If this continues then maybe u need to do a little "blackmailing" just a tad, lyk "well baby if ur nt gna give it to me, does that mean i have to get it from else where" and she where that gets you. I hope i have helped a little, im sure you will be fine, maybe he is just stressed..btw all his other friends may be gay if they aint having s.e.x with their girlfriends/wives...lol

another thing, maybe he is just feeding off your energy, as u say u have low self asteem, well mayb he wants a woman with confidence...even if u have to fakeit for a while his reaction to that may cause u to gain some real confidence..

Answer 4

I think that you should talk to him. Just ask him what the problem is and really open up. He might even have some of his own self esteem problems...you never know. He might have even had some problems in the past and there could be a reason he's not into the whole thing. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Let him know. If this doesn't work you should probubly try to get some proffesional help if you really want this relationship to work.

Answer 5

Hang in there sweetie, it'll work out. Wow 2x in 6 months, that's ROUGH. You may consider that he possibly is leading another life.....who knows but him though.

Have you talked to him about this Tiger you're holding back? Maybe that's what would help spice up your sex life? Maybe he thinks you're prude, or is embarrassed to experiment in the bedroom or something? Best thing to get inside his head is TALK TO HIM. Communication is EVERYTHING in a relationship, without that you have nothing, and a ton of misunderstandings!

Try something new in the bedroom next time you're fooling around, see what his reaction is, he might get a thrill outta it, you never know unless you try!

Good Luck Sweetie!

Answer 6

If he's not having sex with you, why? Are you still in counseling? You seem to need counseling for yourself and as a couple. Is he gay? He seems secretive with the "extra" phone number. If he leads another life and you are sure of it, what other life are you talking about here? Sounds like you aren't getting anything out of this relationship. Why are you in it still? Quit wasting your time on someone who's not interested in what's important to you!

Answer 7

Maybe things are just getting on top of him..... Thankfully I just, often, submitted to my wife's will and she often- I don't really understand it- but she just got me to rest a bit. And that worked well for me. Plus, I think I get headaches when I have to much sex, and I get all grumpy; like there is some comfort in not comming.... My wife had me cumming last night, the night before, and I'm as grumpy as anything tonight.- I have a habit of chronicling how I'm feeling and what factors might of caused it and I can say, it does seem to be too much sex. I know I sound like I'm giving an excuse, but I would give her if she asked, but when I get grumpy then she just leaves me be.

Answer 8

what are you doing for your self esteem ? i have been working on low self esteem my whole life and i have some to realize that the most important love is the love we have for ourselves in that is how we can truly and fully love others. We deserve love as we are love! have you asked him to communicate why he has a low libido? stress, fatigue etc? Or when you say he gets his stimulation from his friends what exactly do you mean by that? you would be hurt if he rejected you but would you rather go through that or a sexless relationship for the rest of your life.....Anyway you dont know until you ask him to speak his truth by speaking your truth........

Answer 9

I also have two cel phones and enjoy my privacy. This doesn't mean I lead a double life. I just get busy during my day. Maybe his lack of sex is due to work related subjects like stress and deadlines. This can play hell on a guys drive believe me I know.

Answer 10

u need to have a serious sit down with this guy. dump him if hes leading a double life that stuff aint kool. sex is a very important part of a relationship and if ur not having it that cant be good. i would try to spice things up and try to figure out if hes leading another life because if he is thats not going to be good for ur self esteem. gud luck

Answer 11

Sounds like a big mystery. Well, I hate to say it, but do you think he has gay tendencies? Does he masturbate alot? < Can you ask him that question? You need to do more detective work on the other phone. And /or more counseling. This lifestyle is going to burn your fire out.
Check out this dvd I bought on ebay. Sexual orgasms are key to health. If he's not giving you what you need you should move on.

http://search.ebay.com/sexual-alchemy_W0QQfkrZ1QQfromZR8

Its a how-to but not too graphic background on ancient chinese medicine and how to have a great connection with your partner. It's cheap! buy it! Can't wait to try it with my husband, he hasn't watched it yet.