my friend has cancer and he has a month to live, how do i deal with it, im breaking down.?

Answer 1

There is a man right now, A friend of mine, and a good friend of alot of my friends as well, he lives in Australia and has a severe form of blood cancer. Docters say he wont live.
I know otherwise.
God will heal him. (if he hasnt yet and I just havent heard)
If you knew God can heal your friend, and belived, your friend will be healed too.
God is good.

Answer 2

There's a lot of good advice here. I have a couple of more things. Contact your local hospice. They usually have some brochures or volunteers that can explain the process of dying. I know this sounds awful, but once you know more about what to expect, it's less scary, although it is still heartbreaking. You might also want to check out the book "Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying" by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley.

All I can say is those two things helped me immensely when my father was dying from cancer. He actually was VERY into the pamphlet about the dying process that hospice gave because then the things he was doing started to make sense, e.g. distancing himself from people - which is the dying person's way of trying to ease the transition of the living people to the time when the one who is dying won't be there. It was less scary knowing some of the signs to expect and gave us some good things to talk about.

Answer 3

Your friend needs you to be positive right now. Don't be depressed around them because it will likely make them feel worse. Concentrate on making the rest of their time on earth as good as possible. Take them their favorite foods if possible. Watch your favorite movies together. Write letters even if you hand deliver them. I find people are often more honest on paper, and that way you'll have something to remember them by when they pass away.
Above all, pray. Pray with your friend. Pray for serenity and that their transition is a easy as possible. Are they in the hospital? If so, most have grief counselors that can help you both deal with your feelings. Stay upbeat, and try to smile even when you're sad. Smiling can trick your body into thinking you're happy because you usually only smile when you're happy. I know it sounds weird, but trust me, it works.
God bless you and your friend.

Answer 4

DO what you can for him but also take good care of yourself. After you do something good for him, force yourself to think about something else. You CAN do it. I do it every day.

Do something to take your mind off the future and experience the moment. RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW, he is with you. Don't let anything else matter.

Spend time with other friends, not just him.

THe hardest thing for me is just knowing I have no power to fix my friend. I can't take her pain, either. I feel so powerless. I guess we just have to learn to accept this powerlessness. I am practicing accepting my powerlessness over life and death by believing that a loving higher power is in control and will do the most loving thing for my friend, even though I am not wise enough to see the whole picture. My higher power is Jesus Christ.

Plus remember that doctors are sometimes wrong. It could be somewhat longer. Years even. We can't predict the future.

Answer 5

Cancer is a bear. Visit him frequently, bring him treats and watch DVD's he enjoys w/him. Make him compilation cd's of his favorite music. If he needs quiet time, just sit quietly - he will appreciate your company. Don't be afraid to cry w/him - he is just afraid of losing your friendship as you are of losing his. Ask him if he needs anything and offer your assistance if he wants help planning a memorial service. Be as upbeat as possible so that your visits are upbeat to him.

When I was in the hospital for my cancer my brother in law used to sing "hey baby, que paso?" when he'd walk in the door. It always made me smile. Now that some time has passed that's what I remember - not so much the hair loss, pain, etc. Be good to yourself.

Answer 6

Would need to know more to give a good answer but this is a start: spend some of you time each day listening to your friend and try to give some comfort in what ever way he needs and and in a way that works for you too. Then spend some of the time assisting him in figuring out what he wants from the day in spite of all this. Who would he want to see, what would he want to eat, what would he like to have read to him. Good luck.

Answer 7

You have so many great answers so far here...great advice to follow.

I myself am a cancer survivor. After reading your queston though, it made me think "What would I want others to do for me if I were terminal and had just days left." and here's what I came up with...

-Pray. Talk to God about how you feel. Turn your troubles over to him and he will take the sorrow out of your heart.

-Spend time with your friend...just hanging out, whatever, be there for him.

-Help your friend with their day to day chores or errands.

-Ask them if there's anything they want to do or anyone they want to see... I hate to use the term last wishes, but you know what I mean.

And most important, take care of yourself. You will be of no use to your friend if you don't get your rest and have your time to yourself to try and cope with this. Do something nice for yourself, like you are doing for your friend.

Take care and God Bless...you are on a rough path right now, but God is there with you and your friend and He will take care of the both of you.

Answer 8

I would see your friend as much as you can. I lost a friend by not by cancer another type of disease. I still suffer from it but I only know one thing hes in a better place were hes not suffering.

Answer 9

There's only one way to deal with it, and it's to do everything in your power to find a way to cure this terrible disease in honour of your friend and all the other babies, children, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers who succumb to this terrible disease.

Just be there for your friend. It doesn't matter if you cry. It matters that they know that you loved him till the end and were there for him.

Do something special...get some friends together and carol for him...make his last Christmas something special. Collect in honour of his name...start a foundation or something...it will make him feel good to know his death was the beginning of something good for someone else.

Answer 10

I lost My Best friend last year to leukemia and I wish we could have spent more time together she was only 42 she was my rock.Watching someone die is not easy trust me.I hope you are a praying person .Pray for her and for strength for your self.I miss her so much But she is in a better place and is not suffering no more.

Answer 11

As a young women who just recently lost my Mother to endometrial cancer just do your best to be yourself. It's okay to cry with your friend, laugh, yell, or be silly.... Death does not have to be a horrible thing, the best thing that you can do for your friend is be by his side, offer your shoulder, ear, and heart and make it a time for reflection. I am so honored that I was able to be with my Mom as left us for her next journey. Try and be strong, you can do it!!!!