And he has taught them and them about family virutes and here is turnign his back cold like they were dead now. I do not understand that how can a parent do that. He was caught cheating on me and I faced him faced to face and then he does this he can not even return their calls but for a while he was favoring the oldest and now he has turned cold on him. Can someone help me understand this man, because I do not.(SAD)
2006-12-11 09:26:40 · 11 answers · asked by pooh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
And the thing is I told him I do not want him back to his face it would never be the same he just made me a stronger woman.
2006-12-11 10:14:45 · update #1
I tried talking to him but he acts like we are dead and i have accepted that it is the boys i am worried about they are the innocent ones why does he have to hurt them. I told my boys I am thier rock and always will be their rock no matter what til the day i die.
2006-12-11 10:17:40 · update #2
it could be guilt,some peoples ways of dealing with guilt is to close themselves off from everyone including their families.
He was seen as the man of the house,the provider,the strong one who could deal with anything and protect his family from anything,
now,
his sons have seen the hurt their mother has been through because of their rocks behaviour,they see their mother and father fighting and are of age to understand what an affair entails and the devastation it causes.
Their father may have turned his back on you but to also turn on his sons is unforgivable.
Ask your boys how they feel about this situation and how they feel its effected them and how they feel about their father.
Its very difficult for young adults to adapt to situations like this because they may feel torn between their love for their mother and the tough guy image they think their father likes to see,
Try to talk to your partner and ask him to be civil for the boys sake and ask him to get together as a family unit and discuss what the future holds now and how you all can get along and still have a father-son mother-son-x partner-x partner relationships.
Good luck and i really do hope you can resolve things for your and your boys futures.
2006-12-12 03:23:14 · answer #1 · answered by freerange00720002000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is strange for a parent... to parent a child for that long and turn their back on them... sorry that he betrayed you, I know it must hurt. Men in general have this problem letting the little head rule their life... and he may feel asshamed of himself so he's avoiding the children... especially if they are having a bit of attitude with him over what he done... in time things will calm down and I am sure the dad will get back to being a dad... reassure the children that what went on between you, him and the other woman is not there concern... and don't disclose all the gory details of what went onto them... have the children to back off and let the dad make the next effort to contact them... that's a bout all you can do... if you nag the dad he'll for sure stay away because being with the children is what you want and that is the last thing he'll do now... is something you want... There's really not much else... I've been there... good luck and I hope this helps!
2006-12-11 17:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is scared to face his kids for fear of resentment from what happened between you two.... He could be ashamed about it all and he doesn't want to have to answer questions and see the look of disappointment in thier faces.....
If you are really sad over this call him and speak with him about it and see why he is acting this way... He will prolly open up to you and maybe you could help him through this for your kids..
Good Luck and I wish you and your family the best
2006-12-11 17:37:58 · answer #3 · answered by evil_fallen_angel41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even try to understand him, cuz you won't. He feels like a fool. He knows he's been a hypocrite because all he's tried to teach his sons and now he turns around and cheats. He certainly feels like a fool. But give him time and he will be back in his sons lives.
2006-12-11 17:52:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really am sorry. maybe your (ex?) husband just needs sometime to figure things out. if he doesn't turn normal again then tell him that needs to make up his mind, either he wants to a part of his sons lives still or he doesn't. if he doesn't, then make him feel guilty. say something like "your sons say hi. i hope you and that little *insert nasty name here* of yours are having a great time ignoring the calls of your sons who miss you very much and wish that you could at least have the balls to call back!" then hang up.
that's what i would do. good luck!
2006-12-11 17:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but you did not mention other facts which lead to all these things because there has to be a strong reason why there is this situation building up . definately there is some thing fishy . cant comment on the issue with only half information
2006-12-11 22:22:16 · answer #6 · answered by gunchu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great father he is punishing u by not seeing his kids but its the kids that suffer. Tell your kids to keep calling. Men r just so immature. I happy that your a stronger woman
2006-12-11 18:21:15 · answer #7 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he cannot face his sons because it reminds him of what he did to you. He may be ashamed of what happend. Your sons may have said something about it to him and made him think they were on "your side" so he does not want to be around them.
2006-12-11 17:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by Just curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I imagine he feels guilty and can't face his sons.
It's hard to say.....because you are not giving us the whole story.
It wasn't just roses and fairy tales and then one day he turned evil, cheated, and ceased contact. Doesn't happen that way.
2006-12-11 17:38:25 · answer #9 · answered by Barrett G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are slime and that's all there is to it. I suggest you and the boys get some counseling so you can deal with your emotions, but don't expect him back any time soon. I'm sorry for your bad luck.
2006-12-11 17:33:39 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋