I have a 5 year old and a 7 year old. My in-laws love to spoil my kids so much that when i pick up my kids from there house, they are expecting everything from me. Not that i dont give my kids what they need, but enough is enough. My daughter is a little over weight and I need to cut back on her eating but my in-laws will keep giving her food until shes already full to the max. My son if he asks for something they will go out the next day and get it for him. Now my kids for Christmas are asking for very expensive toys. How can I go about telling them to stop without them taking offense?
2006-12-11 09:05:12 · 10 answers · asked by ivonne 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You're perfectly within your rights to tell your in-laws what and how much your kids should eat. Period.
You and your spouse should sit down and address your concerns with them. Tell them how much you appreciate the attention and gifts. I think if you express that you can't financially keep up and frankly it makes it hard on you to "compete", they won't take offense. They may not get the part about setting expectations and spoiling them.
If they continue to overfeed your kids, you may have to curtail their visits or go with them.
2006-12-11 09:13:12 · answer #1 · answered by eli_star 5 · 87⤊ 1⤋
I think the one who should talk to them will be your husband that way they will not feel it is all about you !!! I had the same problem with my in-laws but my hubby talk to them and agree not to over spoil them because thay will grow wanting all they want and when ever they want and it is not good as for toys I what we have done since they have now 8 grandchildren is to make an exchange gift between the familly aunts, uncles, grand'ma , grand'pa mom , dad, and of course the kids that way grandma & grandppa will not spoil any of the kids and they will not feel bad any wasy they buy them extra presents to all usually clothes but less expensive but I think most grandprents are like this they will like to spoil they grandkids!!! good luck !!
2006-12-11 09:36:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
She can't spoil them all the time if she ain't with them all the time. Maybe you are using her for babysitting too much. If you don't want your kids to be spoiled then you have to be the adult in charge around them the most. Let Grandma spoil them once a month.
2016-03-29 03:36:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, they are the grandparents. They want to spoil them to the max because they love them so much. We as parents deal with the," well I can have it there" effect.
Talk to them about feeding the children to the max. Tell them the doctor said no candy,sodas, etc. It is very important to talk to your kids about christmas. Tell them it is not about recieving but giving. Make them understand you can not afford very expensive gifts.( this is especially important. children understand more than we know) Talk to your inlaws. Tell them you appreciate how much they do for yor children, but you want them to know not everything grows from trees. They will have to work for things in life too.( chores etc)
2006-12-11 09:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy 4 · 12⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem ....... i just asked that they could stop buying things for my children all the time and that they stick to only buying them things for birthdays christmas ect ..... and for feeding your daughter to the max ask them too feed her at normal meal times and maybe a healthy snack after school ........ you will have to be tough and tell your son bluntly that you nor are his grandparents are going to buy for him all the time as they should feel lucky for the the thigs they have all ready have
2006-12-11 09:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by katrina m 2 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I personally feel you can teach your kids to give more weight for what parenst say and make thems top asking or even accepting.(i know changing kids is tough..but we hav no other go)this time you can speak out with your in laws when everyone is in good mood.
2006-12-11 09:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by karthika n 1 · 7⤊ 3⤋
Tell them to put any money into a college fund, so they will have a good future not just a good present.
Tell your children for each new toy they have to donate 2 of the old ones.
2006-12-11 09:14:48 · answer #7 · answered by areyoustupid3214 5 · 19⤊ 3⤋
your kids belong to you and you should have some rules for them, and other people need to respect that, you should speak up and say you dont want them doing that, buying them everything,
2006-12-11 10:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well, tell your children to ask these things from their grandparents, and that you cannot afford it. Your daughter and you need to have a talk. Tell her that eating healthy makes her life easier. Your daughter if she is old enough should have enough will power to say no. Grandparents are suppose to spoil their kids. Not you, but to an extent.
2006-12-11 10:45:39 · answer #9 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 1⤊ 9⤋
Talk to your spouse. You need to be in agreement. Then make your spouse tell the in-laws. Why should you be the bad guy?
If spouse has no spine, stop doing all the things that you do, like taking them there and picking them up.
2006-12-11 09:12:59 · answer #10 · answered by know_it_all_NOT 3 · 8⤊ 11⤋