What should I do about this DayCare?

Question

I have three daughters ages 1, 2, & 4. My problem is with my two year old daughter.

About two weeks ago I was informed that she had been saying the F-word at school. I had noticed she was saying it at home and I was working on solving the problem. The interim director told me that she would not be allowed back at school until she no longer used foul language. So I kept her out of school for two days and then one of the teachers asked where she was. I mentioned her being suspended and then they told me I misunderstood and that she was to be kicked out if it happened again. So two weeks has went by and not a bad work has came from her mouth. Friday I recieved a call that I needed to pick her up immediately that she had said the F-word with -ers added to it. So I was trying to rack my brain to figure out where she would have heard this phrase from. So I picked her up and the teacher told me what she said was as plain as day.

So I took her home and all weekend she did not say one bad word. I believe she was saying "backwards". I came to this conclusion when she brought me her coat and blanket and was saying "buckers, mommy". At first I thought she said the F-word and then realized she was saying "backwards". I told this to DayCare and I don't think they believe me. I know she said a badword before, but now I feel like they are analyzing her every word. They said it was "as plain as day". Also, when I confronted her about saying badwords, this time she started throwing a fit and last time she bowed her head and knew she did bad.

So my question is, should I just leave this DayCare and find a new one. It is a Christian DayCare at the church we attend. It is in the town we live in.

Also, I get a call from this DayCare at least once a week and I work 45 minutes away. The guys in my office seem to joke everytime I get a call that I will be leaving AGAIN. I'm afraid I am going to get fired.

I know all this information make this DayCare sound bad, but really it is the only DayCare option that I have. Plus since I go to the church a lot of the member help me out with my DayCare bills and diapers. Most of the teachers and the director don't even go to this church. It seems like the few that do always symphathize with me, but they don't usually have anything to do with the decisions the director makes.

Well, here is a little update... Just got my weekly phone call from DayCare... and they decided to kick all three of them out!

Answer 1

Here is the cold fact you don't want to hear. They have 'branded' you and the kids as trouble. Do yourself and the kids a favor and find a new place. When teachers 'look' for something to bust you on, it is time to leave. They are being the 'playground bully'. It us sad that so called 'professionals' (and in a Christian center) to act this way.

Answer 2

This is obviously not the type of daycare setting you want for your children... Children go through phases... one of which can be focusing on bad words. True, it is not appropriate, and no, they shouldn't be saying it, and yes, it needs to be corrected- but she is TWO! Ok, so it is not normal for a two year old to be saying things like that, but it takes up to 21 times of repetition of a new behavior before that pattern can be changed! They did not give adequate chances for her to change her behavior. You don't "suspend" a two year old! That is not appropriate, and you should be glad to get your children out of there! Children don't just spout foul words without hearing them from somewhere first, so if you are certain that they aren't coming from you- then find out where they are hearing it. This center does not sound as if it is equipped to deal with behaviors... perhaps the teachers have little training (church schools do not have to have the same regulations as "public" schools- they are privately based, so there is a good chance that teachers have a lower education level in child development), or there is not enough staff to dedicate to watching the children. Whatever the problem, find another center who is more tollerant of two year old behaviors.

Answer 3

so in other words when my kids used to play with their Trucks and called them f_ cks instead then youre saying I should have slapped them and not let them call the toy by name? Is that daycare insane? I had a problem with a catholic preschool. I took my 3 year old out of there. Then I enrolled him in a regular preschool. He had a blast. He was fine. He got along with everybody and he was loved by all the teachers. I would see if somebody in the town with kids would like to be paid and let the kids stay with them. Maybe somebody from the church. There are a lot of stay at home moms that would love the money. I highly doubt that that is what the kid is saying. Tell them to get their minds out of the gutter. And yes.....plain as day means whatever it means to the child. Take note in what context the child is using it. Chances are very great that THAT IS NOT what that child is saying. 2 years old. Give me a break. My kids had every chance to say that word and they didn't. My husband only knows 1 word. My kids didn't say that. If you gave them a truck everytime you thought that's what was said they sure enough wanted a truck..........just cause they are in authority doesn't make them right.

Answer 4

Our son does the same thing. At his old daycare, we learned his caregiver got into a bad fight with her ex-husband while the kids were napping. She woke my son up hollering an explicative.

However, the words he said started out, "Suck a ditch!" which we thought was "Son of a ....". Gradually he refined it to "F*cking B*tch!". We couldn't imagine a fight where a woman hollers that at a man, so we were suspicious that there was more than that event.

Now, at his current daycare, months later, he's suddenly started saying the same thing, but in a silly voice. We don't say it, so the only answer is the other kids reinforcing the words. Not all parents watch what they say around their kids!

I'm betting it's the same for your daughter, but she is seen as the instigator. If she's scolded for it, like any two year old, she's going to do it over & over again! If she doesn't exhibit aggressive behavior, the teachers should really ignore it.

ps: we started hollering "Lilo and Stitch!" instead :-)

Answer 5

If I was you I would be picking out a new day care. On one had it is neat they have such high values, but on the other they should be better equiped to deal with such things. Its not like your child is the only toddler to say words like that.
Its a bad sign that you get called at least once a week and have to leave your job. They are supposed to be trained to handle those situations and worse. I can see you having to pick them up if they are sick or hurting other children, etc. but using "bad words" is a phase almost all children go through. Your child should not have to be picked up "immediately" for saying them, especially since it is something you are working on with her.
Plus, its not like your daughter is 5 years old saying these things, she is only 2! They should realize that sometimes a 2 year old says things that you can't understand. In my opinion they should work WITH you to correct this problem.

Answer 6

If you are sure she could not have picked it up at your house, I would look at the daycare as the culprit. Another kid could be saying it. An older kid could be telling her to say it. Heck, she could be hearing a daycare provider saying it. If this is happening without their knowledge, then you will probably be better off finding a new daycare.

Oh No! I'm so sorry. I hope you find a better option. Give those kids of yours a big hug. I hope they don't feel bad. It seems like that daycare was being too judgemental,

Answer 7

in my opinion i ought to bypass with a daycare center for a number of causes. a million. there are more advantageous human beings to visual show unit care, 2. more advantageous heavily regulated, 3. predictable agenda, 4. age communities are mutually. in elementary words down section is they typically fee more advantageous and they could have more advantageous than one providor and turn round must be extreme so bonding with there care giver ought to not ensue. With residing house daycare there's no human being else there all day to ensure what truly is going on, if the daycare service is ill or has toddlers that are ill you should have a backup sitter. maximum ought to have toddlers of diverse a even as so preparation gained't be an option. The up section to in residing house toddler care is they are going to in elementary words have one service to bond with this is nice, additionally they typically fee about 1/2 of what a facility costs. once you look at in residing house daycare they must be interviewing you as a lot as you're interviewing them. on the grounds that there is in elementary words one human being there to do care they truly favor to make confident your toddler and your parenting kinds are a good journey. they ought to really have a freelance a similar as a center. both way you bypass i can make confident they're qualified and approved. The regulation of kid to adult ratio is nationwide and is an identical for a facility and in residing house toddler care.

Answer 8

I am not sure how close to 2 your daughter is (by this I mean is she 24 months or closer to 30 months, for example), but very few of the 2 year olds I know have perfect pronouniciation. I have a 22 month old son who is very talkative. Since I spend a considerable amount of time with him, I can usually decipher what is is trying to say even when his words aren't very clear - although even I am lost at times when he is trying to communicate with me. However, people who don't spend a lot of one on one time with him are often confused when he speaks or misconstrue what he is trying to say. In other words, I often am forced to play translator.

Children rarely, if ever, get regular one on one time with day care providers due to the fact that they are responsible for watching a number of children at once. This is going to hinder their ability to understand your daughter. I'd be interested in finding out the context of the situation when she said the "bad word". Did she say it out of the blue? Was she upset? Who was she talking to? This could tell you a lot.

My gut feeling is that it may be time to look for another day care. If they are not willing to work with you to find out what is going on and are more concerned with getting rid of what they feel is a "problem child", that says volumes about the staff. A day care provider needs to have your child's best interest at heart - not seek out ways to punish her. It sounds like they may just be looking for a way to get her out (for some reason) - so even if this gets resolved, another situation down the road might crop up and you will find yourself in the same situation again.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 9

I'm sorry but she's two! What are these people expecting? I highly doubt she was actually saying a curse word that frequently...and I can't believe that they're so disbelieving of her just not pronouncing a letter correctly. Personally I couldn't pronounce "r" sounds until I was about 5. I'm sorry your children were kicked out but maybe it wasn't the best place for them anyways.

Answer 10

oh wow....that is crazy...they should be able to handle her saying the F word at school themselves. they cannot control what the parent allows (not saying that you do) but they can control a 2 year olds behavior at school.

it isn't like she was biting...she was using a word that she doesn't understand. that is crazy.

hope you found another daycare. it doesn't seem too christian like to me.....

SD