How do I talk to my sister about how she's destroying her child's spirit?

Question

My sister is a really good person, I think she doesn't want to be a parent. She has 3 children, she's been seperated from her husband for about 3 years now so she is considered a single parent. The problem is, she is raising her children just like our mother raised us. With a lot of yelling and whoopings. I know a lot of you probably don't agree with the whooping part so let's just deal with the other issue. Her daughter is very hard-headed, and difficult, but the only way my sister responds is by yelling at her and it's ruining her daughter. I live with them now, so I try to intervene a lot by dealing with my niece myself. But it's her child, not mine. My mother recognizes that it is because of how we were raised as to why my sister acts this way. I managed to recognize that and change that about myself with my children, but my sister is not dealing with it that way. I want to talk to her about it without hurting her, but I don't know how. I love them so much, I just want it to change

Answer 1

Get a videocamera. Once she sees how she acts it will really open her eyes.

Answer 2

When you see that a relative or a sibling is acting the way their parents used to act is kinda hard to break those ways. My mom says that my grandma used to be really hard on her, and she says she lets us get away with murder. But in a way, she was like she was describing her because she always even now targets me for name calling, yelling, cussing and judging and I'm 26!!! But it's not going to be easy. You just need to sit her down and take her down memory lane of how you used to be as children and how your mother acted toward y'all, and tell her she's acting the same way and does she want her daughter to carry that torch of anger and rage? But suggest different ways that she can handle her situations. Yelling doesn't do anything, and you can only whip a child for so long and that really don't work all the time. Maybe she needs to watch super nanny or something. Taking things away and placing restrictions work better than yelling and spanking in most cases. but tell her you love her but you're concerned about your niece, you have a right to speak up about how your niece's well being so you need to have a talk with both of them about their negative behavior and how it's affecting them both.

Answer 3

This is a hard one. I would ask your sister if she would like to talk about her problems. What about your mum?Can she talk to her? Maybe you need to seek counselling so that you can better help your niece.

Answer 4

Try talking to her openly and honestly. You may not be able to change the situation but you can make her aware of it.