My mother is very depressed, what should I do?

Question

I know that my mom is depressed, no matter how much she denies it. I can tell the change in her, and she has no self-esteem whatsoever. I know why she's depressed, as well. Our family has always casted us out; they've always been very cruel to her (and me, as well). My father, also, has been very emotionally abusive towards us both. He calls her names, he makes jokes about her that hurts her feelings, and I don't know if we're both just paranoid or not, but we suspect he's cheating. I am manic depressive, but I'm not worried about myself and I don't care about myself. I can deal with things a lot more than she can. I can cope. She, however, cannot. I don't know what to do. I've tried getting her to talk to me about how she feels, but she won't, and she doesn't want to see a therapist. I've talked to her about leaving my dad, but she refuses to do that; she still loves him, I know, and my dad won't change. He says that it's all "our fault", that we are the ones who need to change.

Answer 1

you both need to be in counseling. (perhaps she would be more willing to "go with you" as a way of getting her some professional help?)

Sadly you also need to keep in mind that she is an adult. and although you feel this way about your father, she clearly does not. Until she figures this out for herself this is a behavior that will not change. If she has any close friends that you feel as though you can express your feeling to, I would encourage you to do so and to see how they feel about it.

In the mean time, I would just offer her all the love and support that you can... just being there for her and talking to her when she needs you. (and NOT condemning her current choices and decisions.) I would also strongly encourage you to get someone to talk to too. Good luck

Answer 2

Does your mum work? has she coped like this for a long time and only now had enough? If you have some spare cash go away with her for a few days a health retreat would be the best or just get her a voucher for a make over and massage , these are only very short term helps, seeing a counsellor is the best , maybe you need to let her hit rock bottom as to realise she needs help if there's no other way to get her help,don't know that's all i got

Answer 3

Beg your mom to see her doctor and explain her troubles with depression to him. He or she can prescribe something to help her out. I am on meds for depression (that i denied having) and I am so glad I have them. I went for years before I got help. Go to www.depressionhurts.com and show her the signs and symptoms of depression. Maybe it will make a believer out of her. Tell her that there is nothing to be ashamed of, millions of people suffer from depression. It affects all ages of people. She may be afraid your dad will give her a hard time about it.

Trust me, she wont be sorry. She will feel like a new person. She dont have to see a therapist, just a regular doc. Sadly, older people... like parents, get set in their ways and dont accept change. Therefore their lives get into a rut and they refuse to do anything about it. Good luck !

Answer 4

i think the best thing you can do is not involve yourself in parent business, because it might turn out very bad or worse. just support your mother and dont force her to do things she doesnt want to do, or else she might go against you, and not want to tell you things she can trust you with. remember this "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer", try to remember what made your mom be in a good mood, and really try to get her out of that depression state, because it can eventually turn out to be an obssesion over your dad. just have a lot of faith and believe in what you know is right. this really does work.

Answer 5

All you can do is be supportive. Women generally refuse to leave their abusive husbands beacause they still love them and and also provide financial security. Call a domestic hotline number in your state. Best of luck.

Answer 6

i am sorry you are going through all of this you can't help a person if they don't want to be helped just love her and support her and you take care of yourself and try praying it usually helps good luck.