do people commit suicide because of love, is it so deep that they get emotionally touched? i want to leave my boyfriend but he has threatened to commit suicide if i do and im so scared so i have decided to act like in the relationship..is this a weapon of love ? Does it mean if he ask me to get pregnant or he will die, i must do it?
2006-12-11 08:13:28 · 35 answers · asked by BeautyBreak H 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're being blackmailed into him ruling your life. Threatening you is his way of being in control of you to avoid his own insecurities of being alone. If you don't love him then leave. You need to get on with your life and be happy. Only HE is responsible for his own actions even if he does go through with trying to hurt himself. (99.999999% of the time, its a bluff). Forgod sake babe.... you're own peace of mind and happiness and life will suffer if you don't leave. You are responsible for your life, your happiness, your actions. He is responsible for his own actions and life. Move on and let him go. He needs to learn that life has its hard knocks but we all get up again and move on. He can too.
2006-12-11 08:29:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not trapped.
Of course when you fall in love you become emotionally touched/attached. But that does not give anyone the right to control you & keep you in a relationship that does not make you happy.
If you leave, & your bf decides to commit suicide then that is his decision, & his alone.
Be strong, & walk away. You deserve to be happy.
2006-12-11 08:29:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know a lot of guys threaten to kill them selfs over someone they love deeply. But you can not stay with that person because they threaten to commit suicide. Same thing would always happen with my sister. She left her boyfriend. He moved on. Sure he bugged her, kept calling, telling her he would commit suicide. He made her feel guilty she gave him another chance. She broke it off again, and he did the same thing. Saying he was going to commit suicide. You can not put your life on hold over some carzy guy. And you definately do not have to get pregnant even if he says I will commit suicide. You move on. Dont bother with him. He will get over it. Dont feel like if something happens its your fault. Its not. Be strong. Put your foot down. And tell him its over. End of discussion. Dont call him or answer his calls. Ignore him. Dont make it seem like your giving him another chance. You need to find someone that wont trick you into staying with them like he is doing with you.
2006-12-11 08:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by gizzmoeyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing can trap you except your own decisions.
The same holds true for him.
Threatening suicide is often used (has been used on me) to force someone into a relationship they don't really want, using your own kindness as a weapon against you.
One way you can handle this is to tell your boyfriend that you want to move on, and that if he is going to commit suicide, you will report him. Often, they will back off when their foolish threats are exposed to others instead of them being able to use these threats just against you.
You must not and should not do anything at all because someone threatens you in ANY way - except escape if the threat is against you own health or life.
Personally, I get rather angry at people who want to use my kindness as a weapon against me. Such people do not deserve and will not get my kindness.
One more thought: once a person has gotten away with bullying you emotionally in ANY way, the bullying WILL get worse. Do you want to live your whole life at the beck and call of someone who tries to manipulate you?
You deserve to have a joyful and fulfilled life - that YOU choose for yourself, not someone else.
Yes, this is a weapon - but not one of love, but one of manipulation. Don't fall for it.
If you are REALLY concerned about his mental state of health, you CAN report him to health agencies, talk to his family and let them know that he may be at risk from himself. If he really has a problem, this may help him.
If he's just playing his 'weapon', this should wake him up to the fact that he won't get away with it.
Either way, do not give in to his threats.
If you pretend in the relationship, you don't serve him AND you diminish yourself. It's a lose-lose situation.
Win-win is to empower yourself, be honest with yourself and him, and thus give him a chance to truly empower himself as well.
Don't worry about a few tears shed. They'll dry in their own good time.
2006-12-11 08:26:50 · answer #4 · answered by flywho 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want out, you should leave. Most of the time people that threaten you like that do it to control you. He knows it works, so he will continue to say it. He is controlling you, and its a good indicator his behavior could become worse in the future.
People who committ suicide, usually dont talk about it before they do it.
2006-12-11 08:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by sweetie_baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you. this is emotional blackmail and such a hard thing to have to deal with. What is his mental health like? If he is suffering from depression then this is tricky. Has he shown signs of suicide in other circumstances?If he is otherwise OK then he is using this to have power over you. Ultimately you have to think of yourself - you are not doing yourself or him any good in prolongong this relationship. Good Luck
2006-12-11 08:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when we feel threatened by the loss of something or someone we care about and/or love we feel threatened and insecure some people will do or say anything to get what they want. i have had guys do this to me b4 believe me just leave and go on make a clean break dont c him or talk to him avoid him he wil get over u and b fine the guys i was with did
2006-12-11 08:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man is controlling you. People who commit suicide are usually mentally ill or unstable. If he has said this to you, you should consider getting him some help. Has he ever attempted suicide before?
2006-12-11 08:17:03 · answer #8 · answered by sassy2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His using that excuse so that he can keep you on guard...he knows you will find some one much better so if you leave he will feel useless and a complete loser so what other way to have power over you...if he does anything stupid then you are not responsible for it coz it's his life...so go girl...run...leave the ****...if you don't get out of the relationship and stay with him...means his won and will prove to him that you are weak! so be strong and move on...he will get over it.
2006-12-11 09:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by Lihanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get out. If he really loves you then he wouldn't say that. A child is a big deal and why would you want to bring a child up in that much drama. It will only create a complex for that child. And second that child doesen't have a choice. Thats not love thats control.
2006-12-11 08:17:48 · answer #10 · answered by Tyler C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋