Does it bother you the number of parents on this site that seek advice about...?

Question

basic parenting skills. It burns me up when I see people saying things like, "My child won't let me put a coat on them when it's 20 below zero outside". Or "How can get my child to stay in bed, they don't want to go to sleep and it's 2 in the morning." And, "My toddler refuses to stay strapped in her carseat..." It just drives me crazy when parents refuse to be parents! Our kids have enough friends and buddies, they need guidance and boundaries from their parents. But what always shocks me even more, is the number of people that provide them advice that just masks the real issue, "give them candy, just put more layers of clothes on, tell them you will buy them a toy, blah blah blah"! Sorry, I'm ranting, but I can't take it anymore today. Anybody else feel me on this? Please, I'm begging you, show me there are responsible, sensible people out there who know what it takes and do what it takes to be a parent, hahahahahaha.

GREAT responses so far, even the ones I don't necessarily agree with are very good! Thank you. I just want to make my point clear, I'm not saying that first time parents who are honestly asking for advice are the problem with these type of questions. My point is that people seem to be afraid of making their children angry and that there are some things like coats when it's cold, bedtimes, carseats, and taking your medicine are just NOT negotiable with children and too bad if your child gets mad at you for making sure they are safe and healthy. And yes, I readily admit, and I'm not angry about the fact, that I'm being critical, but it's only because I feel being a parent is the most important job in life.

Answer 1

I soooo agree with you!! I keep asking myself--who is in charge?! The other day someone was asking what to do about their 3 yr. old running off every time they're in the store. This just blows my mind. I have two kids and neither of them would even THINK about running off. They know they'd be in deep pooh! I've never had them refuse to stay strapped in a carseat. Again, they know the rules and they know I'm serious. So when I see questions like the ones you've described I just don't get it. And parents who give their kids candy and toys just to shut them up deserve every amount of frustration they get. I've seen parents give in to kids so they'll be quiet. What does this teach them? It teaches them to be brattier and louder next time because it works!!

I knew a girl who was the absolute worst parent ever. She said her child refused to eat. When he was in our care he ate without issue. She said he couldn't be potty trained. When he stayed with us for a weekend he used the potty every time. She said she couldn't exercise in the morning because he'd walk over and stop the dvd player because he wanted to watch The Wiggles. She said she couldn't punish him because he refused to sit in time out. She allowed him to ruin another child's birthday party by crying and being a brat. It was a bowling party and he didn't want to take turns. He was crying and screaming and making everyone uncomfortable. She kept telling him, "If you don't stop we're leaving." Everyone was hoping she'd follow through. She didn't. Just recently we were at a belt ceremony for my son's taekwondo. A mother there had a child who had to have been 3 or 4. He still had a pacifier!! AND he was screaming and carrying on in the small room and no one could hear what was being said. Do you think she bothered to get up and walk out? Nope. She continued to sit there with that screaming child.

I realize being a parent is challenging. Goodness knows I've faced some issues. It isn't easy and there are no perfect kids. But those kinds of parents are just irresponsible and lazy!

Answer 2

I am a single mother of a 5 year old daughter. She drives me up the wall. I do my best. I was raised by both my parents, and they are still together. I have four siblings, three of whom have their own children. None of us are perfect. We do not have all the answers when it comes to raising kids. We ask questions...sometimes we get an answer that works, sometimes we don't. Parenting is trial and error. What you do will either work, or it won't. Far be it from me to tell someone what will or won't work for their kids. Some things should definitely be common sense, like making your kid wear a coat when it's 20 below. That is when you have to make your kid understand you are right and that they shouldn't argue. My daughter tries that crap with me and she gets shut down instantly.

Some parents just need a little extra guidance, as frustrating as it may be to you, and to others. I still ask questions. I don't have all the answers, and if i did, I'd be a millionaire.

Answer 3

I think you being a bit critical don't you? I do not believe it hurts to ask for advice if needed . I can understand your agravation but some people may need a little more support thinking that maybe someone else has masterd being able to keep a child well entertained while in a car seat or saying the right things other than bribing a child with candy or toys so they'll keep their coats on and go to bed when needed. I think you as well should join my group on my 360 home page ttcdnbttteot@yahoo it's used to give advice to parents and created especially for young teens with ?'s . Happy holidays!

Answer 4

Don't you think that this site is more of a sounding board? Yes, people should know that if it's 20 below, they have to put their child in a coat, but where else can they vent their frustrations anonymously? Who hasn't called their pediatrician for something and sat nervously waiting for a call back?

Even when we're firm and consistent and we've read every book on the subject, sometimes when our child gets up 18 times in the night, and absolutely refuses to sleep or stay in bed, we just want to know how others have coped with the same situation.

Likewise, people post answers a lot of times just to see what others think of "their" method.

I think a lot of the really ridiculous questions are fake or exaggerated: "My son has a temperature of 103 and is vomiting blood, should I take him to the doctor?"

I truly hope that no parent relies on this site for serious or life-threatening questions.

Answer 5

This is a funny question. I think we have all wanted to say it, but feel it's mean-spirited to do so.

There a few issues. As a first-time parent, I have been lucky to have access to the very good doctors, the internet, and many friends and family members, who all give great advice. Not everyone has that luxury. Not all of us have access to great doctors, and family member or friends who actually did a good job raising their kids.

That's no excuse however. If you have the ability to ask these types of questions on yahoo answers, you also have the ability to research your questions online. There are many websites that have great advice. I use babycenter.com.

I know that some people use YA because they are too lazy to look things up themselves, but when it comes to parenting, should you really be that lazy? Obviously, these lazy parents are the same ones you refer to in your question. I would never take advice from people on YA about parenting anyway, would you?

Answer 6

yes it does bother me that so many parents refuse to "Parent" for the most part kids need to know somethings they have choices somethings they do not IE you have to wear a coat in the snow, do you want your blue coat or your pink coat. You have to stay in bed period no choice there. (my mom always had a saying I cant make you fall asleep but I CAN make you stay in your bed!!!)Their only choice with that is wether they want perks the following day (No child is entitled to television/cartoons/movies/phone, if they are good then they can get it, if your kid stays up all night then tv comes out of bedroom, if homework suffers because of phone calls then no phone calls,color all over the walls you wash the wall and lose your crayons, this parenting thing really isnt all that difficult.If you stop and think that real life for adults contain natural consequences (IE miss work, less money, dont do dishes nothing to eat with, dont obey boss lose job) so the best way to raise kids is with the natural consequences.

Answer 7

Yes, it is tiresome at times to see the questions about basic parenting...but on the other hand we enjoy a forum that people feel safe enough to ask the questions and get good answers! A wonderful person once told me many years ago that the only stupid question was the one that went unasked. So as annoying as it might be or seem...ASK AWAY...there is alot of wisdom out here!

Answer 8

I totally agree with you. People are afraid to be parents. No one wants to put restrictions or limits on their children, and they aren't doing them any favours. All this New Age parenting crap about allowing children to make their own decisions and be "individuals" is creating a generation of kids who have no self control, no respect and no futures.
I have a friend who has a two year old daughter. This kid is out of control because my friend won't effectively parent her. The kid recently had tonsillitis and her mum wouldn't give her medicine,because her daughter "doesn't like it"!!! Too bloody bad,I say. That kid, and those raised like her, are being set up to fail when they finally hit the real world.
Thanks for letting me rant, because I 100% agree with you.

Answer 9

I agree with you to some degree. Some of the questions on here bother me or concern me: I posted a similar question last week. But I think with most parents it might be that they are frustrated and are seeking advice from other parents who may have been through the same thing and might have some words of encouragement. I try not to judge people on here or think I know their situation. The answers: well you have to take most of them with a grain of salt because not everyone is here to help.

Answer 10

I agree with you to a certain degree. I think that now-a-days people are becoming parents when they are not ready for the responsibility. I agree that it is ridiculous when parents ask silly questions or want to know answers to common sense things. That is why children become untolerable or misguided. Children need discipline and guidance. However there is nothing wrong with people on yahoo answers answering the "common sense questions" because we need to give certain parents as much guidance and help as they can get. What really gets me is when people become parents too early in life or when they are not ready. I have seen mothers who can't even hold their children the correct way. If you're not ready for a child then don't have one. You bring up a very good point.