I am widowed , nearly 2 years now. I have dated several men of average to great builds. My last relationship was a total nightmare.He had the ex-wife from hell, talk about fatal attraction. Yes, she would boil the bunny. When i could not take it anymore, i ended it. I had been instant messaging this man from a neighboring town. He asked me to go out. I had never met him before but his profile was" a few extra pounds" so, i pretty much knew what that meant. I accepted his invitation and i really like this guy. His personality is wonderful. He has good manners and good taste in what to wear, things to do and places to go and, he is nice looking.
My question is for those of you who are in this type of relationship or know of someone with an obese partner, can this work?
I would like to see it work. He takes his time to think things through, i guess that is why it took him so long to ask me out.He also had a bad experience about 4 years ago.
2006-12-11 07:59:24 · 22 answers · asked by shyone 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm larger than my husband and sometimes wonder if that bothers him.
I don't think it does. I know he thinks I'm sexy and I still get those "I have to have you right now" eyes from him.
If you love a person, the weight may bother you, but it shouldn't be enough to keep you away.
Think about things that may bother you about other guys. Maybe his feet stink or he has an ugly mole on his face or something of that nature. When you love someone, it doesn't matter.
Give this guy a chance. Maybe he's the best guy in the world and you've lucked upon him. Maybe other women thought the same way you do and have let him pass by b/c of it.
Wouldn't that be a shame??
Good luck!
Happy Holidays!
2006-12-11 08:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by Josi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you already know the answer. There is no right or wrong here. Either you can be happy with him the way he is, at his weight, or you can't.
Though no relationship should be based solely on looks, I believe to have a successful, complete relationship there has to be some physical attraction. That is in the eye of the beholder, what attracts you may not attract me. Only you know if you are attracted to him, and that's all that matters.
Just do yourself and him a favor, either accept him for who he is or don't pursue it. Trying to change your partner after the fact usually ends up in heartbreak and unhappy endings.
2006-12-11 08:12:58 · answer #2 · answered by Govt45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the larger one in the relationship and she loves me for who I am and find me attractive even though there are times when I hate my body. She is always there with an encouraging word. I do work out 4 days a week and i am working on losing weight for health reason. She loves me for who I am not my body. Obviously there is attraction there so it works out. If you are attracted to him then who cares if he has a few extra pounds.
My wife has a few extra pounds too but I like that about her. I would not want a stick figure wife I would be afraid I would break her in half.
2006-12-11 08:03:34 · answer #3 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am more overweight than my husband and our relationship is great. Haven't your parents ever told you that "it's not whats on the outside that counts, it's whats on the inside"? Not everyone can be skinny. I didn't put all my weight on until I had my last child and then it came. I met my husband a year after my last child was born. Give the guy a chance if you really like him. What can it hurt?
2006-12-11 08:05:57 · answer #4 · answered by DawnC36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From your story I don't see what it makes a difference that this man is over weight. The one with the problem is you. If you don't like over weight men then don't date him. He deserves someone who is going to like him for him and not try to change him. Just as you do. You call it "this type of relationship". But as far as Ive known a relationship is a relationship no matter the weight of each party.
2006-12-11 08:06:02 · answer #5 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never been with an obese guy. All of my ex's have been gorgeous - and they have all treated me like crap. I am looking for a genuine person with good qualities and I don't care how much he weighs or what he looks like. I just want to be treated well. Don't let his weight stop you from pursuing something that might make you really happy.
2006-12-11 08:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by justcurious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you already have your answer. If this man is as great as you make him out to be then him being overweight shouldn't be a problem. Maybe with care and support from you he might find an incentive to lose some of the weight. I wouldn't expect it of him though. To find a man with the kind of qualities that you say that he has is almost rare these days, so get over your concerns about his weight and give him a chance.
2006-12-11 08:07:42 · answer #7 · answered by Wiked 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What does him being obese have to do with whether or not your relationship will work out? It's totally irrelevant unless your not physically attracted to him because of the extra weight.
2006-12-11 08:04:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being an obese person I can tell you that it could defiinitely work out as long as you don't make an issue out of it. Don't let this be the focus of you relationship and everything should work out just fine.
2006-12-11 08:03:33 · answer #9 · answered by jjodom1010 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can work only if you can see past his weight. I might be wrong, but it sounds a little like your friends have been raggin' you about his size. Who cares what other people think? If you do and are worried about anybody but the 2 of you, then he deserves better.
2006-12-11 08:37:48 · answer #10 · answered by PAMELA S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋