Been seeing a guy on and off for 6 months. I went on holiday and when I came back he called me to say he was going back to an ex. I asked to see him face to face, because the ex is an ex for a reason!!, anyhow he said ok to that, and he would meet me in a week. That has passed and another phone call from him and once again I said i must see him face to face. He said he knows and he promised he would talk to me... as of now nothing. I'm seriously thinking of going to his place of work what does anyone suggest?? I need closure so I can move on, as I love him dearly.
2006-12-11 07:55:34 · 28 answers · asked by Julz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Try to let him go, he knows where you are if he wants you but he doesnt. He has tried to be honest and tell you he's back with Miss Ex, so save your dignity and let him go without a scene. If you badger him, he will feel so pressured you'll never hear from him again, should he keep your number for future friendship. He knows his own feelings inside himself so no amount of talking from you about how he shouldn't be with her will make him come back. Its really hard I know, but try to remember - If he loves you and wants to spend time with you, he'd be with you. Try to not call him and leave yourself open to new guys - you might just find one better than him!.
2006-12-11 08:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you expect to accomplish by seeing him face to face?
1. Get him back
2. Get ANOTHER rebuff.
I would assume that since he's told you he's going back to the ex and hasn't followed through with seeing you, he's not really interested in seeing you. Getting him back seems an unlikely thing to happen. Moreover: do you really WANT someone back that's so cowardly and wishy-washy?
You say you love him dearly. If that's the case, let him go.
Love YOURSELF even more dearly, seek some comfort in joyful activities with friends, go out on dates, get a massage, take a nice hot bath with fragrance and candles, take yourself out to a nice dinner and a movie - anything to make YOU feel special. He's certainly not doing it!
2. Get yet another rebuff. Do you really need this? Didn't it hurt bad enough on the phone, and you need to see his face while he's telling you he doesn't want you?
If you do go to his place of work, you'll be making a pest out of yourself not just in front of him but also in front of a bunch of other people.
Imagine if you were watching some other woman pursue a guy like this.
Get closure by embracing the idea that YOU are a lovable, wonderful person; by deciding to treat yourself as such; and by moving on.
2006-12-11 08:04:25 · answer #2 · answered by flywho 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's already painful....insisting on a face to face conversation is not going to make it less painful. Time has passed and he hasn't changed his mind. Gather up all the strength you have left and get on with your life. Closure is over-rated. I don't think you're going to find what you seek by a face to face encounter, and the risk of humiliation by visiting him at his worksite is not going to help you heal. Have you considered how you would handle things if he goes out the back door when he sees you come in? What do you plan to do...chase the guy. Hang on to your self-esteem instead and deal with your pain privately. I can assure you that the pain will lessen in time. Good Luck
2006-12-11 08:37:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would seeing him face-to-face bring closure?
I believe the reason he's avoiding this is because he can't face you, and used the easy way out.
As for closure... you have to come to terms with this. I think, that even if you do a face-to-face, it's still going to leave a lot of unanswered questions for you. You should probably just quit contacting him and try to move on... allow yourself to hurt. Besides... you may not like whatever answer you seek from him.
2006-12-11 08:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by rollng_thundr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not a good idea to see him. He is going where he wants to be hun - he probably never really loved you in the first -maybe he was on the rebound from fighting with the ex. There definately is something that's drawing him to her. I suggest take time to heal and just move on. He doesn't deserve any of your attention now despite your feelings towards him. If people get involved while they still have unresolved feelings for other people that's what happens. So heal first before you move on.
2006-12-11 08:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by Bootilicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard, trust me, but seeing him won't make it any easier. When you see him what are you going to say? At the end of the day you need to be the bigger person here and show him that you don't need him. The longer you insist on seeing him the more of a power trip this guy is getting. He sounds like a loser if he can't see what he had and finishes by phone. Gutless and spineless are two words that spring to mind. And you sound like you're better off without him.
Show him he didn't deserve you anyway. And whatever you do please don't insist on meeting him again. You're feeding his ego.
2006-12-11 08:03:17 · answer #6 · answered by Fay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
insist on seeing him, say u need this for you and that u wont try and salvage the relationship (although who knows what can happen when face to face!) dont let anymore time go by, i never got closure from my last ex and it eats me up inside so much, even now. i wanted to know so many things. so do this for yourself, because u love him. i dont want u to feel the way i have felt sometimes, its crap, but we move on, and besides u deserve someone who loves u unconditonally. he is out there, dont despare!! all the best x
2006-12-11 08:04:49 · answer #7 · answered by sansamour 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't become a stalker!!! Let it go. He doesn't have to see you face to face. For some reason you think by doing so that things will change. Accept the fact that you were dumped and move on. Its harsh but true honey...
2006-12-11 08:00:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was dumped by phone 3 times by the same girl. The mistake I made was insisting we spoke face to face. One thing led to another & 'things happened' only for her to dump me by fone again. which made me worse still. The last time I never saw her for a few weeks & it was a lot easier.
2006-12-11 08:01:20 · answer #9 · answered by Sparky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey he is an *** hole if he dumped you over the phone. It just means he is a ***** and cant do it to your face. don't go meet him ignore him. your better off that way he is a prick. get a new bf and let him see your over him he might come crawling back which isnt always a good thing though.
2006-12-11 08:58:56 · answer #10 · answered by niceguy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋