How do you tell your child the truth about Santa?

Question

Before a child says that someone at school said this awful lie about Santa not being real, is there a way that we as parents can somehow explain the truth w/o our children feeling as though they have been lied to? Do we make up another story to soften the blow of the truth? When I was 5 yrs old, my brother told me the ugly truth, & that memory is engraved in my mind with the details of where we were & what was said. But, I am not ruined as an adult because of it. I still love Christmas and everything that comes w/ it. My daughter is now 5 yrs old and knows the reason for Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, but she, like every other kid, loves Santa. Each year we write our letter, take Santa pics & set out milk & cookies. Should I tell her? When? How? What about her baby bro? Do we eventually ask her to lie to him? HELP!

Answer 1

Start telling her the true story of St. Nicholas..... I always knew the true story and still believed.....
St Nicholas was born in 280 AD, in Patara, a city of Lycia,
A famous story about St Nicholas, is about a poor man who had no money to give to his three daughters on their wedding day. St Nick dropped bags of gold into the stockings which the girls had left to dry by the fire. The sisters found the gold and ever since, children have hung up stockings on Christmas Eve hoping that they will be filled with presents by Christmas morning.

You can search the web for St. Nicholas the true story of santa clause. The story is very long but you can make it shorter. I was told that no one knows who the true Santa is today, because so many people do good deeds just like the 1st Nicholas so that is why we should always be good because we never know when Santa is watching. So even when someone at school tells her there is no Santa Clause she can say yes there is and tell them the true story. When she finally figures it out it should be easier because she will then know that you are one of Santa's helpers doing good deeds. You could also buy an Angel off of the Angel tree at the mall and start telling her that you and her are going to be one of Santa's helpers and help out a family in need just like St. Nicholas did which we in America know him as Santa Clause. ~ Good Luck ~ P.S. Your only a child once and I wouldn't tell her that there isn't a Santa Clause because obviously there is YOU and so many other people in the world too. As for her not telling her little brother my sister inlaw threatens her older children with talking away there presents. I would tell her that she is now older and she is going to be apart of a secret club for big girls that get to help Santa out by doing good deeds.

Answer 2

My mom told me when I was ten years old... It sort of ruins everything for the child though, I mean, it kinda gave my hopes up that there really was someone out there kind enough to give toys to people. You should decide, it depends on the child whether or not you should tell them now, sensitivity is always an issue with Santa and Christmas. Santa's like the king of all traditions, if that's even what you want to call it. Once the child knows Santa isn't real then the whole childhood imagined holidays goes down the drain. I personally think the blow is sort of easier if the child has a younger sibling that still believes. Of course, what happens to the child with no one younger than them? They usually figure it out themselves, most of the time when their the only person in the household that believes in Santa they get the subconscious hints that we send them.

Answer 3

Here is a copy and paste from one of my earlier answers, maybe it will help you. Although before your read it, you should remember that saying something isn't a lie, when it actually is, is simply ignorant and another lie in itself. My experece with my parents is quite how I belive my parents did not having a problem liiing to my face, today I don't trust my parents what so ever, as I know 95% of what they tell me is their own ignorant opinion, or a lie. Regardless, if he believes its true, why not let him believe it, people believe in God, and there is less "proof" of God existing than Santa, can you prove Santa does not exist?

Personally I do NOT believe he is real, this is due to that I believe that the "evidence" to support the Santa that goes around giving presents does not follow the logic that 1 person going to every house ( and keeping a list of the entire world) would be almost impossible (keep in mind that I said almost, as this may be possible someday).

I also chose not to believe in God as well, why? Because the evidence to support God does not follow basic human logic, for example, if we were created in Gods image, why are we not asexual creatures? Although this is far from what you were asking I am just providing it as an example.

It really is a matter of opinion, do you really think its possible to go around the world giving presents in ONE day? Most people (that believes in God) would say that its impossible for Santa, but say it is possible for God.

It all comes down to the same thing, how can you prove that something DOES NOT exist?

Answer 4

i wouldn't tell her at 5... that seems to young.... However with my daughter we don't put a big emphasis on Santa.. We tell her that he brings one gift, and that mommy and daddy get her the rest, this I hoping will soften the blow when the time comes.. she is 5 as well...

I would explain that Santa at one time was real, and thats why we include Santa in our celebrations for christmas... I don't remember how I found out.. I believe my brothers and sisters told me.. I don't remember being upset by it at all... but it can be a very hard thing for kids to handle

Answer 5

My ex spoiled the Magic of Christmas and Santa Claus by just telling my daughter at the age of 5 that there is no Santa Claus! A much better way is to wait until the children are a little older, however, in today's society our children have to grow up much faster than we did. Think about it who really is Santa Claus? You are! My best friend told his kids that he is Santa Claus when they asked. I think this is a much better answer because it is the truth. There is really no reason to make up a lie because you are the one who plays Santa after the kids get to sleep.
To me Santa is a big part of Christmas. (and the best nativity scene I ever saw was one where Santa Claus was kneeling to worship baby Jesus.) Good Luck to you and your Christmas Magic and Merry Christmas!

Answer 6

Trust me, soon enough some kid will tell her its all a lie and Santa isn't real. I don't understand why you think you would need to lie to cover that up?
When my daughter came to me at 6 telling me that the other kids told her Santa isn't real I told her the truth. Santa was a real man who gave presents to kids. Nowadays we (the parents) take over & do it for him. Its the sprit of giving that matters. Its the majic of the season that has value.

Don't let your childhood Christmas trauma rob your daughter of the majic of the holidays.
The idea of Christ being of a virgin birth is the real lie - now that is one you can't explain without more lies! He wasnt even born at Christmas time - according to the History Channel, and any other biblical scholar. So...what were you saying about lies.

Answer 7

The awful truth about Santa?

There is no awful truth about Santa. Santa is the personified spirit of unconditional giving. When your child can understand that, then its a good time to start telling her more about Santa.

Children believe (have faith) in a person who loves them and brings them toys (gifts) for nothing. All they have to do is ask.... and they get it, well some of it anyhow.... now can anyone draw the parallel here? At some point in their lives many children think that this person no longer exists, and they feel they must buy a present, or give a gift out of obligation. Christmas then becomes a time of bother, and stress. Have to put up the decorations and buy all that junk that hits the garbage can w/in 11 months, deal with the traffic and the stuff on TV.... the messages of buy until it hurts, and for many it hurts dearly.

However children who know the truth, and believe all their lives know that there is someone that loves us and gives us gifts for the asking. For those of us who believe, Christmas is always magical.

So please don't let your child be driven down by those who believe there is no Santa.

Answer 8

Christmas and the birth of Jesus happened in Apilr/May timeframe. The Roman Church moved it in the 400's to where it is now to convert those pagan groups that celebrated the Winter Solstice.

That being said I would definitely wait until she is older to tell her the truth. That being said I believe in the magic of the winter season and this time of year. I am 28 and to have anyone tell me that it is all a hoax and commercial goes against the magic that this season shares with me in my heart. I would let her believe as long as she wants to believe. Yes, we as adults, grow out of the believe in "Santa" but no one should ever lose the magic of the season and that it has to share.

Let her discover it on her own. To have parents come in and break a fairy tale is very disheartening. About her baby brother, let him grow up the same way, let them find the answers on their own but don't let everything come interfere with that.

And remember that letter "Yes Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus"

Answer 9

Kat,
I told my son after he came to me about the Santa question. I told him if you want to believe there is a Santa then you can. Whether he is real or not it doesn't matter. What really matters is how you see it for yourself. He went a couple years pretending to believe and then he quit on his own. You are right as a parent to teach him the truth about Christmas, after all it is as you say the birth of Jesus that is really being celebrated. I love Christmas it's such a happy and joyous time of the year.
TDCWH

Answer 10

Don't tell her. Five is awfully young to find out and I don't think that all kids look at it as though they were lied to. I honestly believed in Santa even after other kids told me he didn't exist. I just preferred the idea of it and I was in no rush to let go of that idea until I was completely ready. We don't tell 5 y.o. a lot of things, like we don't tell them explicitly how babies are made or what death is. It's okay to set the stage for a talk later down the road when a child will be prepared to hear the whole truth, but as for now, there's no harm in letting her believe. I think it would do more harm than good to tell her the "truth," but the truth is subjective because technically, Santa Claus was a real figure. Obviously the story has been changed into something magical, but he was a real person who did give gifts to children and I think that ultimately, that's a great lesson to teach your children. Instead of making Santa Claus seem like just this magical man who delivers gifts to kids across the world, maybe try to make him seem more charitable, like he gives to those in need, and that it's an amazing thing to give to those in need. But yeah, don't tell her. Sadly, there are nasty brothers and nasty kids at school who like to ruin something for someone else and they tell the kids just to take that away from them, but you can't live your lives and raise your child trying to protect her from that. You get hurt no matter what, even if someone's looking out for your. She might even resent you later on in life for taking that away from her.