I am getting married in a few months my boyfriend and i live together and are in love but latley love and romance does not happen much we have just been so busy and i really want it back i want to tingle when he touches me and i want to be as in love with him as i used to be we really ne this i want this week and weekend to be special to both of us to help us grow in each other ya know and the wedding plans have nothing to do with it! so please be help and let me know what i can to and how to get the romance back!
2006-12-11 07:43:24 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I had the same problem and I fixed it by setting up date nights. We designated one night a month to have a date....we alternated months and the person would decide what activity we would do. We turned off our cellphones and spent the entire evening talking about different things then the norm. At the end of the night we would have a romantic evening in bed and didn't turn on our cellphones till the next morning. Good Luck!!!!
2006-12-11 10:46:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat. We're getting married in a few months and having similar issues. But we're both tired. If you're both working full-time and planning a wedding, maybe getting ready for Christmas if you celebrate, and living day-to-day life...wow. So appreciate that, number one.
Number two, relationships change. In the beginning, you have all those hormones and dates and excitement. It's natural for that to wane...and good, to a certain extent. You couldn't keep up with that forever. You're in love now...which is so much deeper and meaningful. When you're both 90 and can't cut your meat, let alone jump each other's bones, what then? It's not all excitement and romance.
But, and here comes #3, a little romance is a good thing. I suggest grabbing him and kissing him for at least 30 seconds at random times. It feels really good. And make time for just the two of you. Plan a date like you did on date number 1 or 2 or 3. And make yourself have sex. Think sexy thoughts, use foreplay...and if all else fails, lubricant. It can be hard to get in the mood, but once it's on, it's awesome to be close like that. (Well, this is, if you're having sex before the wedding. And if you aren't...that's your decision!)
2006-12-11 07:53:20 · answer #2 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very normal!
I am 25 & we have been married for 3 years, during the planning of our wedding it was pretty much as you describe. It is a huge event to plan & no matter what anyone says it does take over your life...
Unfortunately things cant be all rainbows & lolly pops all the time. As you spend more time together your love deepens as does your relationships intensity. You dont need the quick shags all the time to make you feel loved or romantic. Its other things that make up for this now. If you look deeper im sure you will notice things. Like, my husband used to always want to have a shag & tell me how sexy i am (dont get me wrong i love that!) but now he does things that are more meaningful, like putting toothpaste on my toothbrush, or coming home with my favourite magazine for me. different things like that.
Romance is important, dont get me wrong, but your needs do change throughout a relationship. Just go with it!
Enjoy your wedding & eachother :O)
2006-12-11 09:33:32 · answer #3 · answered by kirstymarie21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that love isn't all about feeling. You must choose to love someone. Romance in marriage has to be somthing you work at. Doesn't sound fair, I know. I wish it could be butterflys and "He's perfect" moments all the time, but reality is that you have to work at your relationship. My main point is that just because the romance isn't there 24/7 doesn't mean you're not as in love as you used to be, it's just a different kind of love. And most of the time that new kind of love is even better! (maybe not living together until you're married would help too)
2006-12-11 08:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by Katie Beth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My fiancee and I are in the same situation. We are just too busy to be romantic all the time. I would suggest having a date night and see if that helps the situation. Whenever my fiancee and I have a date, I feel like I did when I first met him, only much more blessed. Now that the butterflies are gone, I can feel comfortable around him and secure in our relationship. That's the best feeling in the world.
2006-12-11 08:47:48 · answer #5 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Maybe he feels the same way and doesn't know how to talk to you about it either. Also, stop thinking that it is gone for good. You are busy, stressed out and preoccupied with all of the wedding stuff. Take some time for yourselves and get to know each other in new ways that will make you "tingle"!
-EZ
2006-12-11 08:03:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some really good engaged couples retreats out there. Look for one near you and ask your fiance if he'd be interested in going. They focus on things like communication and intimacy and helping you build a "relationship tool box".
2006-12-11 08:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by Bethe W 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋