Guys - If you had a one-night stand with a co-worker and you later somehow found out that she was pregnant even though she said that she was on the pill - would you be think that she used you?
If she told you that she did not expect you to be involved would that be okay? Would you continue with your plans to travel and work abroad?
Also interested to hear from any guys who may have gone through this and who were told that they were not needed to be involved in the child's life to see if it all turned out all right.
2006-12-11 07:35:22 · 25 answers · asked by Gillian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
P.S I would not demand ANY child support whatsoever - this is not about trapping a man into a relationship or getting any money out of him - I would not stoop so low.
2006-12-11 07:50:58 · update #1
You have to decide what relationship you want with the child, not with the mother. Unfortunately, in most states, an abortion can be obtained without the mother's permission.
In your case, it sounds as though she's keeping the baby. No matter what you decide, get your legal rights in writing. You want to be a father? Then get some custodial rights. You don't want to be a father? THen sign away your paternal rights. 10 years from now you don't want to be sued for 10 years of child support.
I think once you know what's in your heart, the situation will seem simpler and the direction you need to take becomes clearer. If you really want to be a father and don't get involved, you'll have a hole in your heart.
If you don't want to be involved, but do the right thing, you'll feel better with yourself.
2006-12-11 07:41:49 · answer #1 · answered by hawkthree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First question.......I would think she wasn't truthful with me as would more than likely anyone else. The fact that she is now pregnant would concern me greatly and I would decide to be involved with my child and her welfare as well regardless of what she says. As for any plans to travel and work abroad I would see if there was a way I could include her and then we could go together, otherwise, I would make arrangements for her to be taken care of and send her money and anything else she needed until the baby was born. At that point I would return and commit myself to her and love her and support her and my child or I would try to get custody of the child if she did not want the child. The child is the most important thing regardless of what I would think of her. I have know some guys to just leave and forget the woman although she was pregnant and others to choose not to go and leave her to raise the child.
2006-12-11 07:43:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either she just wants a child with no strings attached or is trying to trap the guy into marriage, maybe a little desperate - happens all the time.
2006-12-11 07:42:21 · answer #3 · answered by Bootilicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy--that is a messy situation. No matter what the woman says, in the end she will come looking for child support and she WILL expect you to help with the child.
2006-12-11 07:38:37 · answer #4 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wenting wasn't that casual. If the kid is yours, pay up. It's a hell of a load for a woman to raise a child alone. Her life is down the drain, and so is the kid's.
Be a man, if it's your kid, see to it that he has all the advantages of those from complete families.
2006-12-11 07:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son's father and I were like this....just friends (with benefits) and lo and behold....
I told him that I only wanted him to be involved as much as he wanted to be, which turned out to be very little. Sad for my boy, but it worked out b/c I met a great man who I married and has been "Daddy" since he was 1 1/2.
2006-12-11 07:40:40 · answer #6 · answered by elfkin, attention whore 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this happend to my good friend. he slept with a girl that said the same thing. then she told everyone that he was a dead beat and that he didnt want anything to do with the baby.
she just wanted to raise the baby by herself. well after all the talk he decided to take a court ordered paternity test and of course he was the daddy. well the ***** got what she deserved. he has custody now.
so if you want a baby and not a guy. its best to keep your mouth shut.
2006-12-11 07:39:23 · answer #7 · answered by nessa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a girl but i recon it would be wrong to let her alone because it doesn't matter what the mom says the child is still yours and being a parent is a great blessing its SO wonderful and amazing. i would not want to give that up .
2006-12-11 07:38:36 · answer #8 · answered by LYDZII3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That happened to me.But she had already made a decision on what she wanted to do and asked if I would pay half and I did.But no I didn't think she was using me.But also if you where planning on doing that I would want some type of papers drawn up stating that.....
2006-12-11 07:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by jeff402006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well either way the kid would be yours, but staying with the girl would depend if you thought you were tricked or trapped or just plain unlucky.
You cant build a relationship with the mother on just the basis of sleeping together once.
ps. so I guess your pregnant then?
2006-12-11 07:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by dsclimb1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋