How do you deal with a lazy fat fiance??

Question

I have been engaged for over a year now. My fiance has gained a lot of weight over this past year. So much so, that I am really concerned about his weight for health reasons. To make matters worse, I am not sexually attracted to him. He is always laying around the house, never contributing to the household chores, and leaves everything for me to do when I get off work. He does work too, but it seems all the responsibility for the house is on me. Do you have any advice on how I can either see him sexually again or at least look at him in a different light other than a fat lazy person?

Answer 1

It sounds like to me that he's turned into some one that you'll have to or wind up taking care of for the rest of your life ,,,, Are you running a baby sitting service over and above every thing else you do ? If this guy had any respect for you or for himself he'd get himself up off of his dead asss and get things straight ,,,, He's let himself go and that probably includes the relationship too ,,,, As for the loss of sexual attraction ,,,, No one can blame you for that ,,,, You were attracted to the person he was not the person he is ,,,, That's understandable ,,,, What you have with him now is not a relationship at all ,,,, It sounds like you are in bondage and he's relying on your feelings for him to hold you in your place or what he thinks your place is ,,,, A relationship should be fun and exciting instead of what you have with this guy ,,,, You certainly don't need this crap at all ,,,, There are plenty of other fish in the pond so throw him back and go fishing again ,,,, There's someone out there that is fun and exciting to be with and is willing to treat you the way you should be treated ,,,, Right now you are sitting at the end of a dead end street pointed in the wrong direction and going no where fast ,,,, Don't let this guy make a fool of you ,,,, That's what he's doing now ,,,, Turn the page and start a new chapter in your life with some one else that's good for you ,,,,, You'll be happier for it in the long run ,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,,

Answer 2

Time for him to get a physical exam from a doctor the weight gain maybe something more than just being lazy. He maybe depressed talk to him about it. When it comes to household chores you two have to sit down and discuss what each of you need to contribute to make your home a happy one.

Answer 3

Once you get married it will just get worse. I suggest that you talk to him and tell him that his weight gain not only concerns you about his health, but also be honest about not being sexually attracted to him anymore. You can't look at him any differently if that is what he is. Open his eyes before you decide to cancel the wedding. Communication is very important in a relationship, so start now. Tell him what you expect of him and vice versa, and that leaving all the house work, chores, etc., is not your idea of an equal partnership.

Answer 4

Your not going to see him in a different light if he doesn't change. It might seem lazy to you but he could be having some depression. The signs seem to be there. I wouldn't get on him about his weight. I'd talk to him about seeing a doctor. Maybe start an exercise program together. He needs to start moving more. And he needs a check up.

Answer 5

I think you just plain stopped loving him. becase when you really like a person you don't care how that person looks in the outside. about him being a lazy fat *** you should really sit down with him and let him know how you feel maybe he does not realize how lazy and fat he really is. if after talking to him he just doesn't care and still doesn't help, then is time to get rid of his fat ***. Time is to short to be wasting your time with unpleasant people. good luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 6

Sounds like it's time to have a chat and let him know your concerns! I'm guessing that you're not having sex right now? That should give him a clue that something is wrong - when he brings it up (and hopefully he will really soon) just let it all out and tell him how you feel. Don't get preachy - use lots of love - and hopefully it will open his eyes about how he's let himself go.

Merry Christmas!

Answer 7

Ask him to get his testosternone levels checked, if he is low, it explains the lack of energy, the weight gain and the lack of sexual appetite (not necessarily yours though). You never know, he may actually have a problem. Or maybe you are just getting the preview of married life with this guy and you should call the thing off.

Answer 8

fiance, sounds like he's got a maid and can take the easy way out. if you live together now and it's like this it will probably get worse. sounds like the life you intended on is not the same as it was before and much work will have to be done to correct it.

Answer 9

Communication. You need to tell him how you feel. Tell him your worried about his weight and in not such a direct way, tell him your sexually unattractive to him. Tell him he could help around the house to shed a few pounds. I also encourage the two of you to go on walks every evening. If the weather is bad, head to the mall and take a few laps there. Just don't stop for ice cream afterwards.

As for you, sex is a great way to shed unwanted pounds, unless he is a minute man.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

Is it possible that he is depressed for some reason? The behaviors you describe sound like that could be an issue. If so, counseling and perhaps even medication, short term, might help. You need to be honest with him about how you are feeling however, and definitely before you both decide to marry. Some couples counseling in addition to help for him would give you a safe place to work on your concerns.