My older brother and sister both in their 30's,are both crack/cocaine abusers.My sister has lost everything that should have been her reason for living(3 children,boyfriend,family),and my brother has 2 children also,that he sees on occasion.We just lost one of our older brothers in April due to a cocaine overdose,I don't understand why that wasn't a wake up call for them...they both recently moved in my fathers house,neither work,help out w/ anything,I know the reason my dad lets them be there is b/c he just can't handle losing another child,and he thinks they are behaving,they're not!I've watched the Intervention show on t.v. and it seems to help,but thats t.v. I just hate seeing this go on I don't want to lose another sibling,espeacially to drug overdoses...but I don't know how to go about helping them....and I know I can't help them unless they want to be helped.....HELP!!!!!
2006-12-11 07:29:10 · 7 answers · asked by molliehollie 7 in Health ➔ Mental Health
What a horror for you to stand by and see this happening ... and with your father's loss -- I can see that his Grief (yes, GRIEF and self-blame for the Choices that his ADULT (yes ADULT!) child made) -- is AFFECTING his decision to NOT see the problems that your siblings are causing to THEMSELVES ... thus, he is ENABLING their Continual Irresponsibility and Drug Addictions.
PLEASE find a counselor -- and TAKE your FATHER with you -- because you BOTH need to deal with the issues involved here -- and your FATHER is the one who is going to NEED to take action ...
And this can mean that ALTHOUGH he LOVES his Children tremendously -- he also needs to use TOUGH LOVE -- say "I WILL be there to listen and care about your welfare .... but .... until you get CLEAN and SOBER (and can maintain that) ... then .... DEAR (Drug Abusing Children's Names here) ... I WILL not continue to ENABLE your choices in life, and you MUST now decide -- DECIDE to EMBRACE life without the Substances (By going to Rehab/Detox), or ... you are going to have to MOVE OUT TODAY -- and you will NOT be welcome in MY HOME without Sobriety --- period. This does NOT mean that I love you any less, but ... it is with the ULTIMATE Love for you that I gave freely when I helped create your life that I WILL want you in TREATMENT at this time. YOU must respect me, as your Father, and CARE for yourselves -- I taught you the best I could to VALUE life, but now ... you have determined that LIFE itself is of NO Value to you. Therefore, it is with this UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that I will make this decision today. Your bags are packed, the Locksmith is changing the locks as we speak, and here is your FINAL Chance."
YES, Intervention IS a good choice in this situation. YOU can't (and neither can your father!) make the choices for them ... but ...
YOU and YOUR FATHER can REFUSE to enable their Addictions -- and make them take the Adult Responsibilities for their Behaviors.
2006-12-11 07:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interventions are another tool used by those who love drug addicts and are horribly hurt by standing by and watching the disasters pile up.
Your father needs to kick them out; while they are in his house, an internvention will not help unless during the intervention they are told either move out or go to rehab.
2006-12-11 15:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by hawkthree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a show that comes on A&E called "Intervention," you should check it out and you'll see how an intervention works. I think they are a good idea if all the people who are confronting the addict are dedicated to following through with their ultimatums.
2006-12-11 15:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, in the case of drug and alcohol addictions they can be very helpful. However, it is very wise to involve a professional in the intervention itself or in the planning. Its not quite like it seems on the television show. Interventions can easily backfire...so please consult someone who can help.
GBU
2006-12-11 15:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interventions work, and don't work. It all depends on how much a person can help themselves.
If they are not willing to do treatment in the first place.. chances are they will not be helped while they are in treatment.
2006-12-11 15:38:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really is bad! I've also watched "Intervention" on A&E t.v. I think they have a web-site http://www.interventiontv.com
I think it would be well worth a try, but I agree that they would have to want to receive help.
2006-12-11 15:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by Sheryl R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could really help. but they have to want to change, and that can be the hardest thing, is to get them to realize that they want to change.
2006-12-11 15:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by pardonmystupidty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋