Tell my 4 year old the truth about santa or not?

Question

I value truth, I think that telling the truth and knowing the truth about things is very important and I want my son (4) to know the truth about Santa. My husband thinks that we should just let him believe until the time comes when we have to explain that we lied, and why we did it. What do you think?

I don't think he'll be sad, or resent me. I don't think that at all. I don't want my son to get the message that lying is okay, if the reason is good enough.

I've never told him that there was one, but this year, compared to all the other years, he's talking about Santa and presents.. he's aware of the tradition. I don't want to start a lie.

Answer 1

Personally i dont think you should. Let him have the fun of believing in Santa. I'm only 10 and your probably looking for a more mature answer but my advice is wait a little while like till hes 6 or 7 and then you can consider telling him. my mom told me when i was about 6 and even i dont really believe in him its fun to play along. good luck and happy holidays to you and your son and youll know when the time comes to tell him.

Answer 2

Santa, the person, is not a reality, but everything Santa stands for should be - joy, kindness, and a giving spirit. Santa is a character who helps Christmas come alive for some families, so I would talk about him with your son in that fashion. Just remember that, at age 4, sometimes kids have trouble separating fantasy from reality. To them, Thomas the Tank Engine, Dora the Explorer, and Santa are ALL very real. I think as long as you aren't manipulating the image of Santa ("be good - Santa is watching"), you're not doing anything wrong. You can support the fantasy without lying. It's a game of make-believe... you wouldn't stop your son from pretending to be a doctor or a race car driver, would you?

It's (obviously) your choice to make. Just try not to let those Logical Facts get in the way of celebrating the spirit of the holiday, which is what Santa is really all about.

Answer 3

Christmas is for children.. don't rob your kid of that innocence. Allowing the child to believe is not predicating a lie... but allowing the kid to dream, wish and hope. As long as you don't commericalize the holiday, but rather get him a couple nice gifts he really wanted... he'd treasure those memories a lot more if he thought that by staying "good all year" means he'll get a little reward under the tree. Instead, he could just say... "o, this is the holiday where mom and dad get me a gift, wrap it and put it under the tree. It would have less meaning.

Allowing your child to experience believing in Santa should also give you a sense of joy by allowing you to feel like a kid again... and to bring up the memories you have of the holdiay from when you were a young child.

Santa still comes to my parents house, yet all us "kids" are 30+. And to see my nephew (4 1/2 yrs) enjoy this year so much, and get so excited about santa .. the decorations... the lights on the tree - I could NEVER rob that from him.

Answer 4

my daughter is 4 and we have never pushed the idea on her that there is a santa but because of hearing about santa everywhere around this time she just now believes he's real. we haven't told her that santa isn't real just because she is just so young and has a big imagination. little ones at that age believe in a lot of things like imaginary friends and the easter bunny. my daughter has actually caught my husband and i talking about how santa wasn't real and how we dealt with it when we found out as children and she didn't care what we said because to her he is lol. sometimes kids don't need to be told they just grow out of it. let him be a kid and let his imagination run wild because he will get to an age where all that will wear off and you will wish that he was still thinking like that. don't get me wrong i totally know how you feel about the whole lying issue and my husband and i had a hard time with it too but the whole santa deal is hard to avoid at this age and i think it would hurt the child's feelings now being so young then it would later on when they are older and less sensitive to the subject because when they are 8,9,10 they tend to not care where they get the presents from anymore lol just as long as they have some under that tree. good luck!

Answer 5

Its the IDEA of Santa that is important! Its what Santa represents that is valuable.
I'm all for not lien to your children, so when my daughter at 6 1/2 asked me about Santa I told her the truth. Other kids at school had ruined it for her already so there was no point in maintaining the lie. That was a true disappointment.
Childhood is magical. I think that anything we can do to hold that magic is a treasure.
Life will no doubt hold many disappointments; as well as Joys. Why not let them have the joy of believing in Santa? Why do you deduce Santa to a lie? To me its majic...and I still believe.

I'm curious...when your son wants to know where babies come from what do you say?

Answer 6

Wow at four you're already ruining the whole Santa thing huh? I'd wait. My son is 8 and still believes, I'll let him believe until he's 100 if he wants to. I'm sure he has an idea but why not let it go? Childhood passes us by so fast it's a real shame to ruin this already. I understand the problem, you don't want to lie. I get that but it's a shame to not see your child light up when he/she sees Santa at the store or waiting for him to visit. I say let the child keep believing. You don't even have to lie, you just say that it's all in the Christmas spirit.

Answer 7

I don't think that any child has ever questioned their parents on why they were told there is a Santa when there is not.
If you are so concerned with lying ot your child then why would you have told your child in the first place that there was.
I say allow your child to believe until they figure it out on their own. Same goes with the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny.
When your child does figure it out the only question you will probably get is "mommy is there a Santa Claus?" . If that question comes up ask your child what they think and go from there.

Answer 8

4 years old is way to young to break the truth to him. Not only that, he might go and ruin it for other kids at school. Let him believe, he is only a child. My 7 year old daughter still believes and same with my 3/12 year old. The are only kids for so long and time just flys. Let them be Innocent for as long as possible, he has his whole life ahead of him to be grown up. There is nothing wrong with child-hood fantasies! And you are not lying to him. Santa is the spirit of christmas. And at this time of year santa is everywhere, in each of us every time we give. Let him enjoy the idea of santa, it will make xmas magical for him for the next couple of years to come. When he comes to you and questions you about it in a few years, then come clean, until then let him believe!!

Answer 9

I think you should let him keep believing in Santa---he'll find out on his own soon enough, and four is still young enough to believe in Santa. I think when kids find out Santa isn't real, then some of the magic is gone--part of growing up, I guess...Let him continue to believe. It's not really lying--it's more of a fun story that you tell until he's old enough to figure things out on his own.

Answer 10

My daughter, now 8, has known the truth about Santa since she was about 3 or 4. Personally, I think Santa's a fun idea, but I work hard to be able to afford gifts, vacations, etc. for my daughter on Christmas and I don't think it's fair to me for some fictional character to take the credit for all that. I explained to my daughter, that Santa is not just one person, but instead, is everyone who loves her and shares gifts with her every year. The Santa we see is just an idea to represent the spirit of the giving. HOWEVER, my daughter also understands that not all children have been told this and she does not "enlighten" other children - classmates, neighbors, etc. By her personal choice, each of her thank you cards gets addressed to "Santa Auntie," "Santa Grandma," etc. in the spirit of things!