38 wks pregnant, and needing advice?

Question

i am 38 weeks pregnant, im needing advice , my previous partner, the father of my 6 yr old has just phoned out of the blue wanting access to see her, however im afraid of him and the confusion he will cause to her since he walked out on us when she was 6 months old because i could not bare him hitting me anymore ,a week later following a accusing letter that he did not think he was the father of Angel < the daughter in Question>.... i got in touch with C.S.A of which he phones me up and says that he tore the form up. however about a year later they < his parents> phone i agreed to give his Parents access to see my daughter , the day they arrive they bring down Angels father and try to hook me back up with him ......that was thier last visit i had not stopped them but only now after years of no contact they want access to her she is now six, im worried that this will confuse her as she is used to knowing my husband her step dad as being her father is there any way i can

prevent him messing with mine and my daughters life? if you work as a solicitor this advice would be very helpful to me.

he has not ever paid C.S.A

i was never married to her Father either

He in writtting denied that he was the father
his name is on the birth certificate but i signed it

Now LISTERN HERE......before another disses me the father Physically abused me! i have only been with two men.....The father of my first of which wasforced ..IE rape,
the second child is my Step daughter my husbands Child that lives with her real mother and the third is to be born

sorry for the confusion to some of you i am currently pregnant and at 38 weeks, i already have a daughter at 6 yrs old my daughter was abandoned by her biological father at 6 months old, whom he only visited her when she was about 1 1/2years old, now out of the blue he wants to see her. Yes and for those that wish to give me hassle im not a whore or a slapper that messes with mens feelings ive only been with two people in my life and that is My ex Fiancee < we were never married> and my husband.... the 2nd child is from my Husbands Previous relationship and the third is due on the 26th of this month

Answer 1

I am an absent father who keeps contact and pays maintenance.

This man is an abuser. Regardless of the circumstances of your relationship he has shown utter contempt for you as a person - and for his daughter for whom he can't even find some cash to help with her growing up. The only time he has expressed any desire to get in contact with her was a clumsy effort to get back in your good books.

This man lacks backbone and is not a role model for his daughter. If you allow it he will come back to her until he gets bored - or she throws a tantrum and he hits her aswell.

Deny him contact and if he gets nasty go to any high street Solicitor. They will take you on and you can put your case to a District Judge who will stop him bothering either of you.

You have a new child coming very soon. Just for now concentrate on that and try not to worry about this fool until you get settled into your new life. Remember the law does not like ex-partners raising a racket in the street - especially where children are involved.

Congratulations on your upcoming birth - and your daughter becomng a big sister.

Answer 2

if you are in the UK (and the law hasnt changed which im sure it hasnt) then the father of your 6 year old has no parental responsiblity of the child at all as you were not married when the child was born,(unless you signed over this to him or he adopted the child) it is gonna confuse the child and in years to come she may find out the truth and want to know her real dad- but this is along way off yet. I had a friend in this situtaion and he had to go to court to get access granted - saying that the courts dont always grant it, if you feel it is in the best interest that your child does not see your ex then dont allow it to happen you are well within your rights, seek advise from a solicitor and any injunction if needed
good luck with the pregnancy

Answer 3

without waiting for the rest of your ? there is a few things that you can do. Call an attorney and get an appointment immediatly. If your husband has raised her and wished then file for a step-parent adoption. Since your ex more or less abandoned her and has had no contact with her in over 2 years you could win. Second unless he has an order for visitation you do not have to let the child go until he goes to court and gets one and along with that will come child support as well as back support. Your daughter is 6 and although she is getting old enough to understand daddy isn't her blood dad but someone else is why confuse her unless have to. Talk to your husband and call the attorney. A step-parent adoption usually runs less than 1000 bucks.

Answer 4

unfortunately the only way to prevent him from messing with you or your daughter is by going to court and proving that he is unfit and abusive and prove that your daughter could be in danger...you could also get a judgement for him being gone so long and he would only get supervised visits and that would probably be what he'll get anyways to start off....you need to realize that he is the biological father and he has rihts that you cannot take away from him...as long as you can't prove that you and your daughter are in danger he has the right to see his daughter. i have been through this but now time is up for his supervised visits and my boys are now able to trust him enough and be comfortable enough to go with him for a couple hours a week to start off. my boys have a step father and he has been there for them since they were 1 and 2 and they are now 5 and 6. it was hard for me but my boys keep loving their step father and seeing him as their #1 DAD. start talking to your daughter about her "sperm donor" and let her know who he is. that way in the long runit won't come back to haunt you. Also prepare for the worst. he might be able to see her when ever he wants. You cannot keep him from being in her life but you can fight to give him a certain limit...good luck and fight it..but please don't make it too traumitizing for your daughter...good luck

Answer 5

Honey you expected real advice on here from the small minded dogooders?I totally empathise with you i was in exactley the same situation with my daughter 12 years ago.See a solicitor.He has no parental rights.It would have to go to court and i doubt he,d get access now.And your daughter is old enough for the courts to listen to what she wants and they will not grant anything that makes her unhappy.Fight this as much as possible.....he deserves no rights.Good luck xx

Answer 6

Go get help now!! You need to have custody and visitation re-evaluated. You need a restraining order for the grandparents as well.

And you and your husband need to discuss and find a way to tell your daughter about the sperm donor. Not in those terms to her but she needs to know that this man has not been a part of her life....and for a reason. You need to make sure she understands that your current husband is still her father and always will be.

Answer 7

Get legal help dont let him see you or Angel unless you want it to happen or the courts say it has to happen which sounds unlikely. Try not to get to stressed until you have had this advice. Things are stressful enough with the pregnancy good luck

Answer 8

well if he has any kind of custody you can refuse him visitaion based on the fact that he may hurt her..... I would say head back to court and take him for full custody that way there will be no more stress on you......

But if you do not get full custody then that not letting him see her for fear of him hurting her will only last so long....... She has a right to know who her birth father is but i would make it supervised.....

Good Luck and I hope all goes the way you want.. and congrats on the new baby and i wish you luck on that one as well

Answer 9

hi! you would be able to desire to be! do no longer hear to everyone - do what you think of it incredibly is good to do - my waters did no longer even brake, yet i replaced into in labour or maybe nevertheless my companion advised me to attend at abode and in simple terms sleep, I went to the well-being midsection and robust for me - they had to break waters for me and word me, because of the fact labour replaced into no longer straight away forward and that i could no longer conventional what replaced into going to ensue if i replaced into at abode. I had incredibly time-honored contractions, nevertheless. in case you r demanding, in simple terms call the well-being midsection and persist to ascertain them - there is not any shame, no blame - i might incredibly be secure than sorry - you do no longer opt for your toddler to be born in a automobile or the different place cos some human beings in simple terms would be unable to be stricken. additionally , you would be unable to alweays believe docs - all and sundry is distinctive - you would be able to desire to no longer have any indications and subsequent minute your bvaby is coming. Havn'e you heard approximately situations whilst docs pass incorrect in C-sections etc. It happens very often, so believe your self darling and ascertain you're heard and seen. all the final!

Answer 10

don't let him see her without court agreement or supervised visits cos that is all he can do is go to court if i was you or your boyfriend id be telling him F U C K O F F and fighting him not to see your girl he lost that right the day he walked out on you