Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How
about I send you a ******* book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa
Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for
is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for
my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love,
Teddy
Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who
rides his *** constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you
some nice Legos instead. Santa
Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a
dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis
Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa
Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan
Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
scotch. Santa
Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
making toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where
I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing
money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa
Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house. Santa
Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy
Timmy, That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa
Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
home? Love, Marky
Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your
*** whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the
burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa
2006-12-11 06:59:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LMAO god this had me in sticthes LOVE IT! thanks for brightening my day.
2006-12-11 07:06:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny. Liked the methopor 'banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane', can't wait fior a chance to use that one!
2006-12-11 07:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol, hilarious. Santa sounds like he eats fetuses and goes to Monster Truck Rallies while drinking Red Dog.
2006-12-11 07:04:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2016-05-23 06:03:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, this is really funny. I'm going to copy, paste and send it off to my friends, who can take a joke.
2006-12-11 07:04:38 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that was hilarious i'm seriously laughing my *** of here good joke!
2006-12-11 11:07:07 · answer #6 · answered by OkieOk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont hang up them letters with your stocking a santa like that will fill them with sh*t 9/10
2006-12-11 07:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Santa seems to have all of the answers ! haha
2006-12-11 07:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by Scotty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha that's pretty dang funny!! I liked the one where he asked to get his parents back together!! lol
***Abby***
2006-12-11 07:04:51 · answer #9 · answered by A.J. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahahahahaha...that is one of the first real Christmas cheer i've gotten this year
thank you very much!
2006-12-11 07:02:47 · answer #10 · answered by endrshadow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
good thing is when i was little, santa never replyed me back!
2006-12-11 07:44:55 · answer #11 · answered by snay94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋