My dad left when i was 4 right after my mom died and i didnt hear from him for 11 yrs well just recently he has seemed to pop up and of course now hes trying to be good ole dad... well i'm not sure if its a good idea to let him cuz he shouldve stepped up a long time ago. right? should i let him since he wants to now that its convient for him???
2006-12-11 06:54:01 · 8 answers · asked by Stormy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WOW! This is a doosey!
There is a book called, "The Grief Recovery Handbook" and it costs about ten bucks. Its amazing in that, it defines and fully explains what grief is and its all about loss and abandonment, the issues it creates and the long lasting effects it has on our lives. Fear not, its not all bad, as it gives many suggestions on how to deal with these issues and move on with your life.
I mention this because your question indicates "uncertainty" regarding your father. Reading this book will help you come to your own conclusion and descision whether or not to let him back into your life.
There is no simple answer to your question because many out here in cyber will give you their opinion and God knows what they are basing it on. Example: Christians may tell you that forgiveness and "Honor thy Mother and thy Father" crap will set you free.
Only you can set you free and you need to know exactly how you feel, before you answer that question.
My advice to you right now is to tell him that you need some time. I would ask him not to contact you, but to leave you with his contact information, and you'll get back to him when you are ready.
It could be a week, a month, a year or never. At least it will be your choice. He lost his right to vote about 11 years ago!
2006-12-11 07:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by darrellkern 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should because people realise things at different times in their life. He might not diserve for you to let him back in your life.. But from his point of view i'm sure he feels bad enough and would like to get a chance to be part of what he should have been a long time ago. And would you want to live with the thought that you shut him out before he could even get a chance? I mean, you don't have to do what he did because you'll be the better person by being understanding. Plus, it probably took some courage for him too to do this, and while you were young and playing, learning things in school, he was probably thinking about you all the time. At his age he couldn't forget about you... while you only "knew" about his existence. Some people can't deal with the fact that they lost someone, even less with the responsabiolity of a young child... It couldn't have been great to be raised by someone who can't deal with his feelings. Now he finally managed to get back to you, and even if it might never be quite a normal father/daughter relationship, it's still a good thing. Life is short and i think he'd be really happy to be able to have you in his life.. after all he lost so much already in time, memories and your mom too.
Wishing you the best to both!
2006-12-11 07:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering that I am twenty and never had a real chance to know my dad, I would take it as an opportunity to know someone , even if he's made mistakes, go with it with an open heart. It may turn out to be a positive and a great event. Let him be a dad, at least once, so both of you don't regret it.
2006-12-11 06:58:29 · answer #3 · answered by David S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Father died when I was a young lad and I would give ANYTHING to have another chance. You have been blessed with yours, take it. Even if it doesn't work out and he turns out to be bonkers, you will of done what is right, and perhaps have gone down a path that you will be happy to travel on the rest of your life.
2006-12-11 07:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. At least you should give him a chance to explain why during all this time he didn't communicate with you. Maybe he wants to make up for his mistakes, so I think you should give him a chance. At least you should try. If in the end things didn't work out, at least you took the chance!
Good luck :)
2006-12-11 06:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by MissLatteandMocha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart gurly...if you think having your Biological dad around then let hin come in...but for me if my dad has been gone for 11 years then wants to come back...I would at least give him 1 chance...know what I mean? Well hope I helped out some*heehee...later
Xoxo
Audge*Paudge
2006-12-11 06:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by Audge*Paudge 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why your dad left. But either way he's your father and you should have some sort of relationship with him.
baby steps......
2006-12-11 07:02:49 · answer #7 · answered by Tab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't owe your dad anything, he was not there when you needed him.
2006-12-11 06:57:36 · answer #8 · answered by wingedgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋