My boyfriend, whom I love very much, is asking me to move out. He told me over the phone that I have been unfaithful on him while he's on a business trip. He said his friends saw me being with someone else is some club, and that we clearly looked to be more than a friends.
I did go out with some friends while a couple of days ago, but I didn't have any intention on cheating on him. I may have had too much to drink and ended up doing things that I shouldn't, but not sex. My intention on going out was just to relax and ease my mind a little.
He didn't even gave me a chance to explain when he called. I love him very much and I don't want to lose him. I know he feels the same about me. What should I do to convince him? I didn't cheat, right?
2006-12-11 06:45:49 · 32 answers · asked by slly_rnld 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
who's name is the lease in?
~ It's his condo unit.
First, do any of his friends have a crush on you? Or maybe just plain don't like you?
~ None of them showed any signs of hating me or anything.
2006-12-11 07:43:42 · update #1
It's him you need to talk to.
Some people feel cheated on if their partner makes out with someone else. Apparently that's how he feels. If I caught my boyfriend smooching hot and heavy with another woman, sex or no sex, he'd be dumped. No discussion.
2006-12-11 06:49:33 · answer #1 · answered by L 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what a person considers cheating.
You say you didn't have sex with anyone else. For most people that is not cheating.
Did you kiss anyone at that club? Maybe your boyfriend thinks just kissing is cheating.
As for moving out...who's name is the lease in? His, yours or both? If it's in your name you don't have to moveout at all. The lease is in your name, and nobody can make you move out of your own home. If it's in both names, you don't have to move out right away. Not until this is settled.
First, do any of his friends have a crush on you? Or maybe just plain don't like you? They could be exaggerating what they saw in order to force him to break up with you. If that's the case, remind your boyfriend that this person has always disliked you or wanted to go out with you. Don't accuse his buds of being liars, that will make you look bad, but suggest that the friends could have made a mistake because of their feelings for you, good or bad.
Next, when he comes back from his trip, sit down and talk this out calmly with him. Each of you needs to tell the other, without getting upset, what exactly you consider cheating to be. You seem to think cheating is only sex, but as I've suggested, maybe he thinks kissing is cheating. I do, too, and I'm a girl. My ex-husband was so controlling that he considered even talking to another guy as cheating, and nearly left me when he saw me talking to a cousin of mine that he hadn't met.
Finally...cut down on the drinking. If you are drinking to relax, and that relaxation leads you to "do things you shouldn't" then maybe your boyfriend has good reason to believe that if you haven't cheated on him yet, you will sooner or later. Maybe worrying about what you are going to do some night while you are out drinking and he is on a business trip is too much for him, and he'll want to call it quits.
Hope things work out for you two.
2006-12-11 07:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by devil_bunny_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have gotten a bit to drunk, and did something you may regret. Everyone is human, and you have to understand that when that happens you may have to face the music. I don't know what the boundaries are for your relationship, but overall guys who are in serious relationships don't like that. I want my lady to go out and have a good time, but I am secure that nothing will happen when she and I go out with our friends. In this case if you want to keep it together you have to accept the fact that he now has the power to say yes or no regarding your relationship. And if you too both stay together, he will be un trusting for a very long time. And sometimes you can love someone, but not be in love with someone. I had the same situation on me with my ex. I had to work out of town and I found out she had another guy at our house. What she did I don't know, but she knew the boundaries and crossed them without disregard. Because of that I dumped her, it was hard to do after a 2 year stint, but once you intentionally go over that line, all bets are off. In this case I think it may be time to really see what you feel about this guy.
2006-12-11 06:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by Tyler C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is willing to let you go so easily without you being able to give him a full explanation then maybe he is using this as an excuse to get out himself. But you dont actually say what you did in the club that bothered his mate that much that it warranted telling on you. So in your eyes are you saying that unless you have sex with another person it isnt cheating? I'd say it all depends on exactly what you did and would you like it if your partner did the same if you were away?
2006-12-11 07:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a lot of sympathy for you but you seem to have something more to add and you are keeping it to yourself. If a relationship is built on trust and you broke the trust you really should not be surprised at how he is taking this. You will not be the first or last on here saying these things over the next 4 - 5 weeks
2006-12-11 07:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by JAYFIRE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that kissing or anything beyond that is cheating. Just put yourslef in his position...how would you feel? If it was just dancing then no thats not cheating. Just tell him that you know what you did was wrong and you had no intentions of doing that. also tell him that it meant nothing and that you are truly and deeply sorry for what you did. tel him you made a mistake and will do anything to make it up to him and to redeem his love. just make sure he knows that nothing like that will ever happen again if he gives you a second chance.
2006-12-11 06:50:54 · answer #6 · answered by laikensmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE was away on a buisness trip someone told him about you NOW LISTEN he believed the other person but he himself WASNTthere hes using this as an excuse [big time ]why didnt he tell you in person and anyway in a case like this i think hes yhe one whos hiding something move on youl find someone else oh?just thought did he get that person to SPY on you
2006-12-11 06:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If hes not willing to even listen to you or hear your side of the story then he isnt worth the trouble. Even if you did work things out and even if you didnt cheat on him He would never trust you and the relationship would go sour if it hasnt allready maybe its in the best that you 2 take you separate ways now before things gt worse
2006-12-11 06:50:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kara B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think if you love each other as much as you say...maybe you need a cooling period away from each other.try and show him how much you care.apoligise.maybe make a commitment to each other like plan to get married or have a child together.try and talk over what happen.but alcohol is no excuse!!! to do certain things etc...unless you were totally out of your head etc,and the guy took advantage of you.i dont think a lifetime of misery is worth the end of a loving relateship..if your genuinely sorry
2006-12-11 06:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by blondedoll00 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I may have had too much to drink and ended up doing things that I shouldn't, but not sex."
That to me my dear says that you did do something and ANYTHING even a kiss is cheating. How would you feel if the roles were reversed. I am sorry but I have to agree with him on this one.
2006-12-11 06:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by Needingsomeadvice 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You did not cheat. My guess is that he is looking for an excuse to break up with you. Just move out and find yourself a guy that will be man enough to be honest with you.
Your boyfriend is a chicken and you'll be better off without him.
2006-12-11 06:54:46 · answer #11 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋