Me and my boyfriend have been together for two and a half years, he has been married before, and has a child with his ex. They are divorced. We live together have been for over a year. He told once that he didn't want to get married but this was when we first got together. When we watch movies about wedding he always teases and says to turn it off. But he also mentions small things like us being together years to come. What do you think. Is he maybe just waiting to make sure it is the right thing he wants to do.
2006-12-11 06:32:38 · 16 answers · asked by Summer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's hard to say, but I will offer you this advice. Be very upfront with him, if marriage is what you want. You need to tell him you are happy for now, but that you're aren't going to stay in the current situation forever.
I waited and waited for my last BF to ask me, always wondering, but never talking to him about it. Finally (5 years later), I said, look, if you don't want to marry me, that's fine, but I want to get married & be a family with someone & if you don't, it's time I moved on. That's what I did. Then when I started seeing my current BF, I said, I want to get married at some point, & if you don't, that';s cool, but I can't play that game. He knows the score, and he knows I'm not going to hang around forever either.
2006-12-11 06:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he will marry you in about 15 years or so. If that's a problem for you then don't stick around. You see, your guy has been around that marriage block before so he knows what possibilities lie around the corner and since he's now divorced I don't think he would be too willing to take that route again. He did state to you that he did not want to be married. Just because he says small things about being together, "being together" doesn't mean "married".
2006-12-11 06:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing as he has been married before, I am sure he is cautious and wants to be sure before he makes the mariage commitment again. However, 2.5 years and he still shows no interest in asking you to marry him...that raises a red flag. He might say he wants to be with you for years to come...but that doesn't mean he will marry you. It sounds like he is content to be in the situation he is in just as it is. If you believe marriage is what you want, then let him know that you want to get married sometime in the near future. 2.5 years is a long time and if he is not able to make that leap with you, then perhaps it might be time to find someone who will be when the time is right. But by all means, be honest and talk to him first. You love eachother and maybe all he needs is a little nudge in that direction:)
2006-12-11 09:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello honey...
what i can say is once cry twice shy..
Actually, once a man/woman who had gone thru a divorse, they are very concern in getting married again, not all thou.. but some would be more conservative, more observant, more sensitive, more cautious, or sometimes more rebelous..
It is why they dont plan to get married again to avoid going thru all the same damn things in the pass..
But situation may change, if one of the partner's had played an important role to turn things around for the better. then they'll get married again..
I'm more concern of these divorse man/woman just need their partners to be there for them each time; and some of them is especially just for sex companion only.
You wont know it until later you'll start to realize that these ppl (divorse man/woman) are using you to satisfy their sexual needs..
But by saying this, may or may not be true, you also have to judge by you self..
All the best to you honey..
2006-12-11 20:55:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess it depends on the person so you really need to find out if he ever plans on getting married again. If he does plan on marrying again you need to find out if it's going to be to you. I've been with my man for 8 years of ups and down and we are getting married January 27, 2007. So I guess it just depends on what he wants and if you are willing to wait for him to be ready to remarry. Be up front and tell him you want to get married someday and if he can't see his self getting married again than you need to move on and don't waste the next 2 1/2 years waiting for him and giving him the milk for free if doesn't plan on buying it sometime in the future!
2006-12-11 08:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ones wants to get married right after a divorce. But if you do want to get married, you need to see if he open for that in the future or if he still doesn't ever want to again.
2006-12-11 06:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the rebound relationship and it's natural that he is scared to take the plunge again.
He already told you that he doesn't want to get married, That is not just talk, it the truth. You knew this when you got together, and you moved in with him anyway... you were naive enough to think that "he will see the light and change his mind'? Please, don't waste yoru time.
He is quite confortable the way things are, and if marriage is important to you, then you should be looking for someone who is ready for commitment. Don't hold your breath for this one.
Good luck
2006-12-11 07:34:30 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to turn off images of weddings and said before that he didn't want to get married, then unfortunately, it seems as though this is still true.
Talk to him about it; if he doesn't want to get married, then move on. Break ups are hard, I know, but if you stay with him, you'll never get the marriage you deserve.
2006-12-11 08:56:00 · answer #8 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well okay...you live with him and I am sure you cook,clean...sleep with him and all that. So maybe he is looking at it like well I already have everything. Maybe you should test him, ask him if he would ever part with you? If he would ever share you(dating other people)? Then ask him if you are his forever? Bring up marrage, you don't want to say nothing and 5 years pass and he never had any intentions on marring you. We all deserve to be happy. He may be vroken from his past relationship, that may be stoping him, you need to find out though. Ask him...best of lucj Jenn
2006-12-11 06:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Army Love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up honey...he will never marry you... do not u watch Dr. Phil...he always says: if you can get the milk for free why buy the cow?? he is happy and settled with you ( ur boy friend of course not Dr. Phil lol :) ..without the responsibilty of marraige why should he marry you?? i mean I would not have!!! ( if I were a boy of course) . Tell him you want to get married.. and ask him : is he intending to marry you or not..if he says no: jump out! when men say they do not want 2 get married THEY MEAN IT!
2006-12-11 06:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by gala-day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋