Ive never thought of myself as being so great, pretty, etc. Ive never been confident in my looks, personality. But now that my boyfriend has left me for another girl, why do I feel like I'm the better girl for him?
Physically this girl is very different from me, she seems like a partier, dresses more openly. Im more shy, quiet, reserved.
But why do I feel like Im better than her? I dont even know her! A freind told me, its cause now Im starting to value myself and appreciate who I am?
2006-12-11 06:24:24 · 16 answers · asked by confusedbrowngirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
BECAUSE HE DID!!!
2006-12-11 06:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Moka♥ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Comparing yourself to your ex's new partner(s) is not a fun or a good game to play. If you measure up this time, next time you won't. This has nothing to do with self-esteem just our own silly habits as we find it so difficult to move on after getting dumped.
Obviously he has moved on, you now need to do the same thing. What exactly are you waiting for?? Your question shouldn't have been did he make a mistake, it should've been I have a problem of low self-esteem how am I gonna fix that? Once you take steps towards doing that then you are finally valuing yourself and hopefully later on can find a decent guy who will value you too. Comparing yourself to her is not valuing yourself, it's silly and a waste of time.
2006-12-11 06:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by simm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is right in my opinion. Everyone deals with insecurities and a low self esteem, but I think as people grow and mature they realize that they are indeed on the same level, if not higher, than their peers. If you feel like you are better than the other girl, then you are. But in regards to your ex-boyfriend, maybe he is just attracted to the party type and maybe he is not the right fit for YOU. There is nothing wrong with being shy and reserved. It is merely another personality trait that many other people share. We cannot help who we are and what we think, and I guess the key to happiness is to just embrace who you are.
2006-12-11 06:34:00 · answer #3 · answered by Seanseanwallabean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stutter, so I never thought I'd get a girlfriend. I don't really have a problem with how I look (I get a lot of compliments), but I was never able to talk to girls. When I did, I stuttered, and i felt like an idiot. But every girl I know has told me that she thinks my stutter is "so CUTE!" But that's what confused me: girls think I'm attractive, and my stuttering is cute, and I'm generally a very nice guy who quickly makes friends, but these girls never wanted to get closer than just being friends with me. So I thought there was something else wrong with me that I didn't know. But I'm very happy now because my stutter has gone away for the most part (with age), and I finally have a girlfriend who loves me. My girlfriend has more problems than I ever did, however. She has hormone deficiency problems, so ever since she went through puberty her body had been behaving like that of a post-menopausal woman: weight gain, hot-flashes, etc. On top of that, she has emotional problems as well. So she has a world of problems, constantly thinking that she's fat and ugly. But she's really quite beautiful! I would never even call her "chunky," although she thinks she is. So my girlfriend has been on many medications, and most of them had negative effects: her anti-depressants made her gain weight, throwing her into deeper depression, for example. She's a really hard worker though: she exercises an hour to an hour and 15 minutes per day, with a good combination of cardio and resistance exercises. She's the healthiest eater I know, but she knows that variety in the diet is the healthiest, so she'll allow herself to have a sweet or something less healthy every once in a while. So she's really smart about her weight issue, and she's been losing weight, but it recently hit a plateau, and she can't go lower. So now she's afraid that there's something else wrong with her body that she doesn't know about. To sum up: I was seriously depressed this past spring, because I never thought I'd get a girlfriend. But now I found a girl who actually loves me for me, and I consider myself the happiest guy on Earth. But my girlfriend has more problems than I ever did, and although me being in her life has helped her allot, she still can't see herself as being as beautiful as she really is. That's my life story so far. -Joe
2016-05-23 05:58:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it IS due to the fact that you are now seeing your own true value, or maybe you are feeling that the girl he has now is not good enough for him, or maybe you are jealous, or even a combination thereof. Either way, if he is looking for a party girl, a 'good time' girl, someone who dresses more liberally and likes to be wild, so be it. Go to a library or internet cafe and find yourself a nice, reserved, quiet guy that will appreciate you for who you are. Don't worry about the guy that left.
2006-12-11 06:27:48 · answer #5 · answered by hi_its_bryan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is right and I'm glad you can see that. Anyone that doesnt see what kind of person you are doesnt deserve to be with you. And if he left you for another girl then he's not worth your time. Forget about him. Never forget that you are worth alot. Dont let immature guys like this one make you feel otherwise. It doesnt matter what you look like on the outside (although I can guarantee you are a beautiful girl), its who you are on the inside and more importantly the fact that you stand up for who you are that counts. Dont ever let anyone change you especially a man.
2006-12-11 06:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you think you were dumped?
maybe you weren't.
maybe you are better than her, at least in some ways.
Its REALLY REALLY REALLY good that you are valuing yourself. Probably some other people do too.
The challenge now is to even it out. "Sometimes I'm thinking I'm too high to fall, other times I'm so low I don't think I can come up at all." Bob Dylan
Just realize you are great the way you are, so are other people mostly. Try to be just as good as, not better or worse. I know its difficult, especially if you are smart and beautiful.
2006-12-11 06:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you're still in love and naturally assume that you're the better girl for him. And yeah it sounds like you're not used to having this level of self confidence. But don't mistake self-confidence for denial. I mean hey you probably are the better girl for this guy but since he can't see it maybe his not the best guy for you. So screw him, move on and find someone that is the best for YOU. Don't worry about being sad you'll find someone new.
2006-12-11 06:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by dyanholla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should appreciate who you are and value yourself. Its a start to building your self esteem. Just know that another guy who will be better suited for you is right around the corner.
2006-12-11 06:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You realize this because you're smart enough to know that you really are "the better girl". Don't ever think negative of yourself there are people that judge us everyday. We are all different and we all have some insecurities. You should appreciate yourself and care for yourself before anything. =)
2006-12-11 06:29:10 · answer #10 · answered by SHASHAS=) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your modesty is better and higher than hers so of course that is an A+. Nowadays people don't have integerity and modesty. If you feel that way its b/c you know whats right and your right in the long run its his loss not yours. You go girl!
2006-12-11 06:27:23 · answer #11 · answered by mvang_7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋