can anyone write me a witty speech to deliver at a presentation evening at a golf dinner?

Answer 1

Start off with "Good Evening. My name is ....... and I am an alcoholic. ....No wait ..that's Wednesdays.!!!

Always gets a laugh.

xxB

Answer 2

Best Bet For This Is To Devise A Structure-

Begin With An Introduction, Something Of Intreast During Your Week (Search On Jokes And Stories, And Try To Incoparte That Into Your World)
Look At The Sitution That You Will Be Addressing And Exgrattate Everting That Is In The Obvious - ANd Stand Back And Say To Your Self - HOW IS THIS FUNNY

Good luck

Answer 3

I have played for years and listened in on many of the pros conversations, these guy's are hysterical, well except Tiger, he has little or no since of humor. They all have a great since of humor so don't bore them with a dull speech. They also to a man have a great respect for the great ones that made the game what it is today. There are a lot of funny golf books out there written by pros with some very funny stories. If you can find something by the late Dick Harmon, Butches brother use some of that but don't forget the history of the game.

Answer 4

heavily do, practice your speech extra. no longer purely on my own studying, yet practice gazing something and turning contained in the speech to that. Like a video digital camera or webcam, a replicate, or maybe only a row of filled animals or dolls. Then, at the same time as it truly is determining ok, stumble on a human being to practice for. Or more effective than one. Make your total relations sit down for you in case you are able to! The extra circumstances you practice, the further you get into the habit of creating use of an same intonation and projecting your self belief. Then, at the same time as it truly is time to furnish your speech, initiate by looking around the room for a delightful face, someone who seems good at you and smiles. Then take a deep breath, and furnish the speech to that individual. in case you're attempting to imagine too a lot for the duration of your speech, your talking skills will struggle through. it truly is more effective to furnish pauses and attempt to communicate as slowly and obviously as achievable, as that would want to help you to regulate your voice and posture. once you practice, be certain to face up instantly and communicate obviously, or you're purely studying aloud! Even those who are not shy usually have difficulty talking in the front of an excellent crew, because an excellent crew of persons ought to nicely be very distracting. purely attempt to recollect that virtually all and dissimilar feels the way you do, and that you're going to get more effective with time, in case you keep doing all of your purely right!

Answer 5

Write to me privately with the details of the event and I will craft a witty, reflective speech that will make you look good.

Answer 6

you can open with a joke if you want...Jesus and moses were on the ninth hole par 3 Jesus takes out his 9 iron and moses says"that's not enough club" Jesus replies"tiger can do it" so he hits it and it goes in the water.he tries this 3 more times with the same result..Jesus walks across the water..and here comes the foursome behind them they say to moses who does that guy think he is Jesus? moses says no tiger woods

Answer 7

Make lots of comments about the size of your balls, and the Length of your club. Refer to the amount of dimples on your balls, and how stiff your shaft is. If this does not get them going, ease your club out and start swinging it.

Answer 8

witty and golf don't go together, golf, and dry maybee, but not witty, I could write a sarcastic dry speech for you

Answer 9

yes someone can im sure of it!

nice spelling of sense by jeffs girl by the way

Answer 10

I could very easily ... but I'm not doing it for free!!
Nice try though, cheeky sod!