I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 3 years and we have had our share of bad, bad problems and times. I have tried to break up with her a couple of times and she always seem to make me beleive that she is gonna change.
I recently broke up with her and she continues to call, text and even show up at my house.
At first i was nice and told her that we had no real future....that i had thought things out and that I was not going to try anymore.
I would not pick up the phone when she called me, but she showed up at my house a couple of nights ago and I felt like i had to let her in and agreed to spend new years with her as friends......I know she will expect more.
I know that she loves me SOOOO much and i feel soo bad, but I just cant handle it anymore. The worse thing is that I have begun to talk to someone else who has been atrracted to me for a while and i think it is so that my "x" wil find out and get pissed....i did not want to end it like that.
2006-12-11 06:12:33 · 10 answers · asked by sublimeguy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When i was younger and in a committed relationship yes. But I believe the older we get the less we put up with bs and realize what were looking for. Your girlfriend is finding it hard to let go which is understanble being as you were together for three years, but if you are really serious about the breakup the best thing to do is remain firm, not cold, and definitely do no contact. Being in contact makes it harder for the breakup to stay broken up and harder to heal and move on.
2006-12-11 06:19:39 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are all she has but the best service you could do to her is to refuse to talk to her and see her. You are hurting yourself and giving her hope because you know she expects more... And now it's affecting your new life and you're affraid that she could find out about a new interesting girl. You cannot blame yourself for ending a relationship if the other doesn't understand. I mean, you tried and tried again to tell her right? You probably know by now that it was a bad move to say you'd spend new year with her so i'll spare you. Either you hold up to your promise this LAST time but NEVER be weak again, and shut her out completely for your good and for her own good too even if she'll realise it in only a very long time. Or you tell her you were out of line and that you don't wish to spend new years with her, that you really want to stop talking to her -and will- She has to know that you want a different life now and that she cannot be part of it for both your sakes. Sounds great... but at this point i doubt she'll understand... so your only chance is for you to stay strong, don't let her in anymore and don't answer the phone. If she keeps on calling or showing up, the only choice might be authorities or if not, become someone she's gonna hate. hope this helps a little, good luck.
2006-12-11 06:25:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. My high school sweetheart and I broke up and got back together more times than I can count. Eventually we stayed apart but I was the one who had the hardest time with it. When you invest a lot of time in a relationship especially three years it is hard to let go of it. I think it is nice that you agreed to spend New Years with her but make sure she knows that it is just as friends and nothing else. Eventually she will move on but be nice and remain her friend. Me and my ex-boyfriend are still friends to this day. Good Luck!
2006-12-11 06:20:10 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of you either likes the drama or still likes her. If your concerned about her because she loves you so much then the best thing you can do for her is not hang out with her out of pitty. At this point you guys cant be friends. There are still intense feelings involved. Tell her its over for good and keep it like that no matter what. Anything else you do only gives hope for getting back together.
2006-12-11 06:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that's never happened to me...I don't end relationships arbitrarily, and those that have ended on me, I didn't go back begging to get back together...if someone doesn't want to be with me, I don't want to be with them...
You just need to find your spine and stop letting her call the shots...if her feelings get hurt, that's not your issue, it's her...she chooses how to feel...why is her delicate sensitivity more important than you being able to move forward with your life? What opportunities are you passing up, because you feel sorry for her and dont' want her to be blue?
All you are doing is leading her on (letting her believe there is hope, if she hangs in there), and that's cruel...end it...finalize it...move on...
2006-12-11 06:17:38 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby boy, please let her go. I understand that she loves you (thinking) but there is a thin line to stalker and she has kinda crossed it. Can you imagine what would happen if she actually thought you guys wouldn't be together any more? What would happen? Is your new girl in danger? Please give some consideration to what I have said. Alot of people feel as though they know the people and that they would never be like that or do anything like that but you never really know anyone. Everyone has a dark side!
2006-12-11 06:16:43 · answer #6 · answered by Tri-trippin-Nelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when people date for long periods of time like that, for some it's difficult to move on because their so used to the routine and familiarity of being together. from the sound of it, she may be having trouble realizing that there is a "her" that doesn't include you. it's unfortunate, but the only way to help her get over you is to cut her off and not allow her to have any contact with you. it's going to be very difficult for you, since you obviously still care about her, but she's made it clear that if you continue to allow her to contact you, then she'll still try to get back with you again. in my experience, it's not possible for people who've been in a long term relationship to just snap their fingers and be "just friends". you both need to have separation from each other to move on with your lives before you can try to get back to friendship. i've been through this a few times with a few exes of mine, and it's the same song and dance every time. you both need time to get over each other and move on with your lives. best of luck.
2006-12-11 06:25:53 · answer #7 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might have to end like that!! She cannot let go. You will have to make yourself unavailable at all times and she will try to come up with alot of stuff to see you. Hold tight!!
2006-12-11 06:17:15 · answer #8 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah people tend to brake up and make up but its not good for a relastionship at all once its over then theres no gettin it back...
2006-12-11 06:14:59 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't engage in long conversations with her.
2006-12-11 06:15:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋