I'm 21,... I work, go to school.. I have no boyfriend,... I hardly go out,... I want to get married and have a kid,... I want a daughter! Oh I do, I do.
Should I adopt one,.. while I'm waiting for marriage haha ...and I don't even have a boyfriend,... what can I do?? ...I want to be a mommy,... and YES ....I know the responsibilities!!!
2006-12-11 06:07:01 · 25 answers · asked by Lizzeth 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
What is the rush for! can't you wait for the child after you find your mate, and have a child with him! Enjoy your life, have fun, travel, and when you are ready for a child then have one with a mate, not alone. Yes, I take it you do know responsibilities, but you seem don't know how much it takes to take care of a child. It is a lot of work.
Actually knowing what is your responsibilities and actually doing it are two different things. Saying and knowing it is easier than actually doing it.
Build up your self esteem, and enjoy your life, then have a child. If you are not satisfied with just being by yourself! do you think having a child will fill the gapes that is missing in your life.
No disrespect intended. All I mean is take care of you first, enjoy your life.
In the words of Rodney Dangerfield: " No don't do it, Don't do it."
There is so much to it than just those precious smiles, and playful times, hugs and kisses.
Consider this, when you are on the plane, and you get instruction of what to do in case of emergence. They tell you, first take care of you, put your Oxgen mask first, then assisst those around, such as your kids after. That should be your life as well. Enjoy your life, put the oxygen mask on you, have fun travel, smell the fresh air the oxygen of life in all and every way you dream of, and then have your family. and then you can teach them from what you learned and enrich their life from what you experience and lived.
Live well, so as those who are around you can learn from you, and live in your example. In the future you may say, I wish I did this or that, and having a child will not allow you to do that, not fully without taking something away from them.
2006-12-11 06:14:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sierra Leone 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Do you have time to enjoy having a daughter right now, since you're going to school and working? I'm twenty and in the same situation--going to school, working. I want a daughter too, really bad sometimes. Having a boyfriend or not isn't really important to me, but I know there's no way I'd have the resources (financial or physical or emotional) to raise my daughter the way I want to right now. Fortunately, I have a little cousin who's three years old and adorable, and she's become my pseudo-daughter in the meantime. I also volunteer a lot with kids to keep my "kid tank" full.
If you're not in a financially stable position right now or don't have the time to take care of a child, you might consider finding a little girl who lives nearby that you can spend time with and bond with. If you feel like you're ready to be a full-time mom, then that's good--but if I were you, I'd find a way to do a "test drive" of some sort first, because once you dive in there's no going back. If you're considering adopting, maybe you could be a foster parent first? I know that many people enter the adoption route by first being foster parents, then adopting. That's an idea to try.
Good luck!
2006-12-11 14:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by kacey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to wait.
Life has just begun for you, and you will undergo many life-changing events. You cannot foresee what those events will be.
In general, I tell people to wait until they're 30 before getting married. The reason I advocate this is that a 30-year-old you is a lot different from a 21-year-old you. If you marry early, then you and your husband must cope with each other's changes. In many cases, the couple can do this, and if you do marry this early, I hope you are one of those lucky couples. But, in many other cases, the husband and wife grow in two different directions. The strain of making the marriage work is too much for them, and they feel the need to separate.
Now, it's not perfect at 30. You can still grow as a person and be unaware of what you're really like. My uncle did not marry until he was nearly 40. He still went through a divorce. But in general, a 30-year-old has a better idea of where he is in life than a 21-year-old.
I don't know you. My advice may not apply to you. Maybe you are indeed ready to be a doting wife and glowing mommy at such a young age. But don't rush it. Let it happen if it does.
And I must repeat: Do NOT rush it. A ticking clock is a horrible reason to marry. A couple's marriage remains strong when the two people are ready to marry. If one has a deadline, then that person likely will realize that she simply settled. That can cause problems too, and no child deserves to be born into that sort of relationship.
2006-12-11 14:08:27 · answer #3 · answered by Rev Kev 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
wait until you are done with school at least. I am working and going to school and prego. and I have 2 kids. it is hard as all get out. just wait until school is out....it will be easier. you will also actually be able to spend time with that little girl that you want so bad. You will also have a better job (I am assuming) after you are done with school. This all means...more time with a little child that you bring into your world, no matter how you do it. I understand the need for a child. I have 2 with another one almost here, but it is not easy being away from them all of the time because of work and school. It will be worth the wait.
2006-12-11 14:15:58 · answer #4 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you kiddin'? You have your whole life ahead of you! Kids are an amazing amount of hard work! You should go out and meet people - you're a hotty! You'll pull someone easily! Go out and have some fun before you settle down!!! See the world! Because you won't be able to do all that stuff when you've got a kid to cart around everywhere with you...
2006-12-11 14:12:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Goddess! You're 21! Do you know how much time you have to get married and have kids? I'm 31, and while I have a wonderful boyfriend that I ADORE, I'm not in any big hurry.
No offense, but you don't even know who you are yet. Don't go rushing to take care of someone else when you're still figuring out your own identity.
)O(
2006-12-11 14:12:12 · answer #6 · answered by thelittlemerriemaid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're fairly certain that you can take care of a child, go for it--there are so many kids out there in orphanages that need love it breaks my heart
2006-12-11 14:14:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 21 and you really know what you want out of life, including having a child that would not have a male role model around.
How sweet of you to perpetuate the myth that single young unmarried parenthood is the way of the future.
2006-12-11 14:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
If you could do it so the baby has a father that would be best. I have a boy and girl and they are so awesome. You'll have a blast when the time comes! Good luck!
2006-12-13 13:40:40 · answer #9 · answered by ropemancometh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait till your 25 and you're more certain of what you want to do with your life.
A child is for life not just for Christmas.
I would offer to help but I'm celibate and you're too young for me.
2006-12-11 14:12:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋