Ok, I have been dating this guy for a while now, he is like 15 years older than me. We only argue or fight over one thing, its the same thing over and over, something he doesn't like about my past. Other than that we get along great! But when we argue he says really hurtful things about me. Like I am a N lover and all this stuff. I am not racist at all I have a mixed child...he says hes not rasicst but doesn't believe in mixing races. Another thing is his kids are grown and I have a 2 year old...so should I try to stick in there an hope things will work out or get rid of him?
2006-12-11 05:48:28 · 55 answers · asked by HoplesslyNLuv 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girl! Get rid of him, if a guy says things like that he obviously doesn't care about you that much. And he is racist!
2006-12-11 05:52:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
EVERYONE has a past. If after all this time he still can't accept that and uses your past as ammunition in a fight, he has a real problem. This is something to discuss when you are not in a fight. He needs to deal with it once and for all and move on, or you will need to move on yourself. Also, your primary goal should be to protect your child, when your baby is older, if the two of you are still together, he could turn that anger to the baby and make the baby feel bad about being mixed. You want positive role models for your children and it sounds like this man is a direct contrast to that.
Best of Luck to you.
♥♥
2006-12-11 05:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by leavemealonestalker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! It sounds like he can't (and won't) get over the issue. The most important thing is your child, I would be worried he is going to direct some of the anger toward your 2 year old. If he can't accept the fact that you had a past, then how can he except your child that reprents this past. It doesn't sound like he will be good for you or your child. I suggest leaving him now, before the issue gets bigger! Plus there is someone out there who will except you (and your child) for who you are... But right now the important thing is your child! Live a positve life! Good luck!
2006-12-11 05:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am concerned about only one thing here....if he doesn't believe in mixing races then how does he feel about your child? That child should be the most important factor here. If he has resentment toward the child then he needs to go, regardless of how well you do or do not get along. Besides that, it doesn't sound like he has much respect for you if he calls you names. I would give this relationship some serious thought
2006-12-11 05:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by Tallulah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. I dated black men for a long time, now I have a white fiance and a daughter by him. Once in a while, he'll try to say something slick, but I nipped that in the bud right from jumpstreet that I wasn't cool w/the insults and he chilled out. You need to tell him that if he don't like the fact that you dated those men in the past, he needs to go somewhere else, cuz now you have a baby as a result of one of those relationships and your baby doesn't need to be hearing him call you stuff like that. It's insulting to your baby too!
2006-12-11 05:54:12 · answer #5 · answered by Brooke's Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him. He is a racist and he hates your child because of his views. Unless you truly believe he can be educated and learn tolerance of all human beings, leave his hateful, ignorant behind in the dust...no matter how much you think you care. Do you really care that much about someone with racist beliefs against you and your child. Because make no mistake - he has feelings of hate and anger towrds you too - for daring to be with someone not of your race...otherwise, he wouldn't say the things he says. If he really were not racist, what you did in your past - and who you did it with, would not matter to him...he didn't even know you then.
Best of luck - it takes a lot of strength to stand up for what you know is right, but it should be easier knowing your child is involved.
2006-12-11 05:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by Grá 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He claims he's not racist, and he probably believes that he is not; but he still uses racial slurs. Hmmmm could be you have a closet racist on your hands. In any case, you have a child to think about. You state that he or she is 2 years old and a mixed child, and he doesn't believe in mixing races. Don't you think that his opinions or statements will hurt your child when they are old enough to understand? He may inadvertantly say things around your child that will cause serious harm. I would leave him.
2006-12-11 05:53:36 · answer #7 · answered by Firienscatha 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, racism is just about the foulest quality a person can have. It has never caused anything but pain, destruction, and death. This truth crosses all political lines. Whether you are a right-winger, a flaming liberal, or just despise politics, we can all agree that blind hate must not be tolerated. That being said, I don't know you or your BF. Although racists make me SICK ... I also believe a person can change and should not be damned too hastily. Talk to him about it ... if you can. Lastly, you mentioned a child. He or she must be the most important factor in your decision. Your life is no longer just about you. Whatever you decide is best for your child must be the action to take. God bless!
2006-12-11 06:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi many couples argue over one thing or another but when they come together as mature people they are able to talk about it and settle things that will make them confortable.Its good you sit down with him and talk about this issue that you argue over and over he should not be callin you names as this deems how imature he really is he is 15 yrs older than you so he is mature..If he had a problem with your past why then did he choose to be with you.He should accept your past since there is nothing he can do to change it .you 2 should move on.This is if you 2 love each other and you want to be with him.if you are not confortable with him then move on dont stick around if you know the situation will not change .There are many men out there one of them could be the one for you.
2006-12-11 06:05:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's up to you. Because other people would agree easily, break up with him. The reason is, he is racist, noone who isn't racist will call someone out for liking another race, or degrade someone's child because they are mixed. You know you aren't racist, but you will only get bad feedback for dating someone who is. If you can't change his mind on his views of people a different race than him, then it's not worth the humiliation, drama, or critisism. Save yourself and your child.
Krazy Libra
2006-12-11 05:53:54 · answer #10 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him. You have to ask the question: why doesn't he want races mixing? What real reason could he possibly have that is not a racist one? Why would he even use the 'N' word at all? Do not even think of subjecting your child to this. You have the power to stop this before it starts. So stop it now, before its too late.
2006-12-11 05:52:54 · answer #11 · answered by Lav 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋