How long do you think a mother could go..non stop with the kids..before she wants to start pulling her hair out. Is it ok...to feel as if you need some space or air to breath on your own? i'm almost never without the kids..how much time does a person need alone to keep their sanity? The shower has been an escape at times..but still theres the banging on the door...Could never getting any time to a persons self actually drive a person batty..I was just wondering?
2006-12-11 05:36:45 · 35 answers · asked by justwonderingwhatever 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Are you my wife?
2006-12-11 05:38:39 · answer #1 · answered by SmartAce 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ohhhhh... baby, I am going through the same thing. I never don't have my children. They are with me constantly. Like you said, the bathroom can be a retriet at times, but they are right there banging on the door, crying for this or that. It is enough to drive you batty. If you can, try to schedule some alone time for yourself. I make my husband watch the children while I grocery shop.. not exactly a day at the spa... but alone time all the same, and pretty quiet. I may also go through the drive threw window at our local coffee shop and get myself something to drink and relax my mind on the way home. Put the music on loud in the car, and sing your stresses away.
That and reading my bible in the morning puts my day in the right mood. You are not alone... every mother goes through this. Just remember though, one day... you will wake up, and the house will be silent, your children will be grown, and out on their own in the world, and you will wonder how they grew up so fast. You may even wish you could have those stressful days back again.... something to think about... just try and take a break every once in a while, find refuge in small things, like grocery shopping, going to the local gas station alone.. etc. I wish you luck
2006-12-11 05:53:34 · answer #2 · answered by Angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a stay at home mom and had a bit of a hard time at first. My husband thought that since he works outside the home that anything inside the home is my job, at any time of day or night. (Except cutting the grass and weed whacking...that's all him lol.) Well, I had enough after two weeks and told him that I work all day too. Just because I don't get a paycheck it doesn't mean I don't work. I explained that during the day my responsibility is our 2 year old daughter and 8 year old son after school. His job during the day is whatever task he is given at work. When we are both home at night it is a split responsibility. I can't just clock out at 5pm when he gets home, why should he sit around all night when I haven't sat down all day? He tried to argue with me a little but he soon realized where I was coming from. A few guys from work were saying how they go home and don't lift a finger so he thought he could get away with it too. Well, he was wrong lol. It's all good now though. I try not to ask him for too much because I know he works hard, but so do us moms. Fighting with your husband isn't going to get anywhere. Trust me, I've tried lol. Talking will do wonders though. Be honest and explain that you are overwhelmed. More than anything you want to enjoy being a mother and wife but you also need him to be a father and a husband. Best of luck. :)
2016-05-23 05:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a single parent of 4 ages 5-13. This is a trick that I have been doing for the past 10 years. I get up 30 minutes before the kids. I take this time to watch the news, read, drink a cup of coffee, or any thing that soothes the mind. See if you can get a friend to watch them one Saturday morning and go top pamper yourself at the salon.I If you have personal days at work use one and treat yourself to a movie and lunch or just lounge at home in your pj's.
Remember that every parent needs a break.
2006-12-11 07:38:28 · answer #4 · answered by cancergul1977 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is up to the individual. My wife is ok most of the time but there are days when i get home when she may not be feeling well or the baby was really cranky and she just needs some time alone the rest of the night. Or even on the weekend i let her sleep in or take a nap while i keep the baby occupied. Most days she is ok though. i help where i can i take the last feeding and put her to bed so that she can have a few minutes in the evening to read or play a puzzle
2006-12-11 06:24:32 · answer #5 · answered by Big Daddy R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a 1 year old and by the end of the day I sometimes feel like a bad mommy because she has driven me so batty all day that all I want to do is put her to sleep. I love her to death though as I'm sure most of all mothers love their little ones. Luckily my mom (nanna) takes her a couple of times a month to give my fiance' and I some time. At this point I'm afraid to have more because my mom probably won't take them as much if there are 2.
2006-12-11 05:52:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have twins of 2yrs and 9 months, if I don't get a break out of the house without them for at least an hour or so per week I go mad. I also find I need a break every 12 weeks or so for a weekend.
I recently went 9 months without a break from the kids at all, and by the end I was really short tempered, quickly angry, critical and just not nice to be around with the kids.
So, you need a break, you have a right to have something for yourself and to be yourself, even when you have children.
2006-12-11 05:48:13 · answer #7 · answered by Sally E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a single parent I can sympathise, and yes you do need some time to yourself. I have a hard time getting it myself, but you should try for once a week for at least a couple of hours. Even if all you do with that time is take an uninterupted bath, it will be worth it. Talk to the father, or your parents, and try to arrange a regular break for yourself, because trust me, you deserve it and need it. A happy mother makes a good mother, and a mother isn't happy if she doesn't get any time for herself. You didn't stop being human the day that you had kids, you still need to take care of yourself. You're going to get overwhelmed with little things if you don't get breathing time to keep it all in perspective, and you still need to have time and interests for yourself that don't involve kids. So, as a good mother, which I know you are, it is your duty to make sure you get enough time for yourself to keep stress down and happiness up, so take a break, you'll enjoy your kids more if you do!
2006-12-11 05:42:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are in crisis. Don't hurt your kids.
Now, take a deep breath and ignore the screaming and whining, and concentrate on this.
YOUR FEELINGS ARE ABSOLUTELY NORMAL!!
You really need to watch SUPER NANNY to learn how to bring a little sanity into your life, as regards your kids. They seem to be running your life, and it should be the other way around.
There's an old joke--"There are only 2 things left in this country that you don't need a license for anymore--being a parent, and being president of the United States!"
The point is that we don't start out being great parents, we become great at parenting as we go. This can be harder if we need to unlearn negative things we were taught as children.
We all have been exposed to the philosophy that parenting is fun and easy, and enjoyable. I raised 7 kids on my own, and that is not necessarily true, especially with pre-schoolers.
It sounds like you are trying to be too nice for your own good, and being taken advantage of . All kids will do that, and they need structure and discipline in gentle, appropriate ways.
Really, try Super Nanny or some other parent skills program, or check the web or a local continuing education place for info or a parenting course. Once YOU learn good, appropriate parenting skills, it DOES get a lot easier. Best of luck! :-}
2006-12-11 05:57:04 · answer #9 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to do what you think is best. Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your kids. When my son was first born I didn't leave the house for months. That didn't really work. I found I needed to get out now and then, even if it was just pizza with friends. I got into the habit of going out about once a month for a night. That worked for me. Some people may need to get away more or less frequently. But yes, yes, go out!
2006-12-11 06:12:21 · answer #10 · answered by CrazyBirdMom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As often as you need to be a better and happier person. You aren't doing ANYONE a favor by wearing yourself down so much.
I have three very cool kids but they are all very chatty - like me. They talk from the time they open their eyes until they go to sleep. And there are times that I am overloaded with it all and it just seems like my head is going to explode.
Take a breather, take some time for yourself and you'll find that if you do that enough and do it BEFORE you get to the boiling point, you are going to enjoy your kids more.
2006-12-11 06:05:13 · answer #11 · answered by iam1funnychick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋